To not message?

[Pinkboxglitter]

Recently got back in touch with an old flame for the past few weeks. We have great chemistry and he seems keen to start something up again.
Last week we met up for coffee and a chat and it was really nice.
Hes gone on holiday now with what he says is a female work friend for a few weeks.
He made it very clear this was a friend and he is completely single.
I sent him a message before he flew saying have a great time and see you when you get back, he replied and said he wasnt looking forward to it much but see you soon.
Anyway, three days later, no message from him or anything. Should I give him the benefit of the doubt? Message him first? Or leave him to it... feel a bit confused!

Leave it.
what are you expecting from the this ? Do you want to get back together, why did you break up before, will those issues still exist?
think carefully before getting involved with an ex. Plus if a guy is interested in you, he will be in touch regularly. You don’t have to text to remind him of you.

I'd send a message. Just the one though, and if he doesn't reply I'd leave it.

Do not text him. Take a step back and concentrate on all other things you have going on and Xmas around the corner. If he is truly intending to have something with you he will make it happen and will stay in touch. Put the ball in his corner with this as that way it takes pressure off you.

We never made anything official. He always tried to stay in touch but I met someone else and life got in the way. We only recently reconnected.
He usually messages every day asking how I am but so far nothing.

Who goes on holiday for a few weeks and over Christmas with someone who is a work colleague (of the opposite sex)? No-one.

Yes i agree. I think its strange and my alarm bells were ringing.

Come now, don't be naive. I don't think this is a 'colleague' he is away with.

He's on holiday shagging a work colleague. just leave it

Him not messaging while he's on holiday, imo, is not an issue. When I'm on holiday, I'm on a break from the day to day, and I don't want to be spending my time with back and forth messages to home. Nobody that I message with regularly stays in touch when they are on holiday either.

The real issue is what your relationship is, as you say there's nothing official, and what his relationship is with the person he's on holiday with. There's not much you can do to figure that out till after the holiday, really.

So try to not spend to much time and energy on him at the moment - spend time with friends and family and enjoy the festive season, as much as you can. Don't let him ruin it for you.

I think I wouldn't write it off yet but I wouldn't be sitting around waiting for his message either. If you can't deal with getting on with your own life without contact (and I don't mean that judgmentally, I really just mean if you can't deal with it), then message him once and if the reply doesn't make you feel better, consider it a no goer.

Noone goes on holiday over Christmas with a female friend.

It may be best to leave things for now and see how things go when hes back.
I did make a comment about the woman he is going on holiday with...he made it very clear shes a friend from a previous work and that throughout the trip he will meet up with other friends who live in that country. Im not sure.

Personally I wouldn’t message him, but I also wouldn’t believe he was on holiday over Christmas with a female work colleague. I think he told you he’s “not looking forward to it” purely to play it down.

Don't message. If he wanted to speak to you he'd be messaging/calling. Sad but true. Playing it cool is ALWAYS the best option at the beginning of new relationships.

I agree with this 🙄

You come across as desperate

Let me make it clear...i am not haha

Don't text him but also don't write anything off. I think that's a bit dramatic at this point. I rarely look at my phone when I'm on holiday, especially if I'm travelling around, meeting friends etc.

Also, you have only recently met for one coffee after what sounds like you fading him out previously. Presumably he made this holiday plan before he knew that you would be back on the scene so even if it is to shag someone, that's totally ok. What's he supposed to do?

Agreed