sorry this is gonna be a long one 🍿
i share a 14 month old baby with my ex- he walked out when I was preg, didn’t see baby for 6 months and then recently we (stupidly!) started sleeping with eachother again.
he started off promising us both the world, he was picking her up on his days off work, making an effort to see her, offering to buy her Christmas clothes etc and when he finally got what he wanted (in my knickers) he really couldn’t be bothered with her.
there’s been times he’d gone 2 weeks without seeing her- he’d come to mine late at night and leave early morning for work without seeing her but would make no effort on his days off. Had a hangover one weekend and decided he couldn’t be a dad that day so I had to take her back. This sickened me so I called things off - vile how he can sleep with me in her home and not bother with her.
I regretfully said some mean things to him over the weekend, I called him a shit dad and told him to shove his £15 a week maintenance where the sun don’t shine 🤣
bit of backstory, while we were sleeping together he had been telling me what he’s getting his other 2 kids for Christmas- ps5, £300 tracksuit&trainers, gaming pc, just typical teenage boy things. He got our daughter a few toys, nothing major but it’s progress from last year when he got her ✨n o t h i n g✨. He also makes dinner at his house and would drop it off to his kids at their mums but wouldn’t offer to do the same for our daughter. He pays for half of their uniforms & clubs etc. I am footing the whole childcare bill so we can both go out and work full time- he offered to help but he’s all talk. Pays his £15 a week as normal not a penny more.
I contacted him today to ask what we are doing going forward - he said the only thing he can do “if I want him to see our daughter” is Saturday-Sunday night every other week.
my daughter has stayed in his house a few times with me being there- she would not settle for him, I had to go in and comfort her when she woke up so I don’t feel comfortable with this; his mothers dog also uses our daughters bedroom as a bathroom. The house is filthy - I had to lift fossilised shit 💩✨ from her bedroom floor and remove a pee covered mat from the room to put her down for a nap and then began scrubbing HIS HOUSE!!
basically I just needed a rant but AIBU to say no to overnight contact even though she has stayed before with me being there? He really dgaf about her so I’m not sure what to do- I don’t want her growing up and noticing that she is not being treated as well as her two older half-brothers.