Pick your battles

[fivetothefloor]

DH struggles with time-blindness and tries to do too many things at once which can cause issues. He also has a habit of sighing at me. I try to ignore these things and pick my battles but I pulled him up on the sighing and now he feels criticised. He says he needs to work on it.

Do you have a sigher? I need to let it wash over me a bit more?

Does he have adhd?

No

Sounds like you married an asshole. Sympathies.

Not sure what time-blindness is (?) but I would find the sighing extremely disrespectful and would not let it wash over me for a single second. Tell him to stop. Every time.

Having said that, how long have you been together? Has he always been a sigher?

12 years 2 kids. Sighing is a recent thing but he does too much and seems tired. Doesn’t leave enough time for things like getting kids out the door or tries to do two things at once and wonders why it’s stressful. Feels he has to keep kids entertained (older primary) when they should be learning to wait for him to be ready to leave the house. Starts playing 5 mins before he has to go. Squeezes in activities that we don’t have time for. Comes from the heart though.

He WFH full time. With no commute, he gets to spend more time with the kids :) but there's also no line between his work and family life. He is in a hyper-organised role so often tries to really organise me and the kids too in the hols. He doesn't mean it but he's constantly reminding me of things I'm already on top of and suggesting things. Daddy can you play with me? No but Mummy can do XYZ with you now whilst I work etc etc when I'm standing right next to him. It has more pros than cons so I don't know why it's so annoying. I would love some advice from others in the same boat.

I'm not sure I really understand the problem?

He sighs (probably not intentionally).
It annoys you (it would annoy me too).
So you mentioned it.
He felt criticised (fair enough because it was indeed a criticism).
He's said he'll work on it.

It sounds like a perfectly healthy conversation with a good outcome!

My ex always underestimated the time things would take, therefore always in a rush/panic causing stress all round.

He didn’t sigh so much as huffed and puffed!

You have my sympathies.

It sounds like a perfectly healthy conversation with a good outcome!

Very true! We can go round in circles.

It think it's more about the WFH side of things so should probably start a thread on that.