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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not want to celebrate SIL who ignores me and my child

7 replies

Jenmaybee11 · 17/12/2023 16:59

It’s my SIL 40th birthday today and hubs wants to send her £100 as a present

it was my 40th in May and I haven’t had so much as a card from her.

even worse IMO was that she has not done a thing for our daughters 3rd birthday no card no visit no gift. SIL has no other niblings for context there is only our daughter.

we have always made an effort for her and her 4 children. I used to try and arrange fun days out for us all . We would take the kids on individual treat days etc but since Covid this has all fallen away.

i have stopped trying to forge a relationship as my message thread with her is full of me suggesting days we could meet or telling her when we are free and response is always I’ll let you know … then crickets.

i always organise the presents so this is the first time hubs has had to think about it.

He said he feels bad as she spent 75 on tickets for hubs to attend an event for his birthday. Note she didn’t see us with a card or this gift either it was sent by email literally days prior to the event occurring which was months after his actual birthday.

this gift itself irritated me as involved us having to travel 3 hours to get to the location with our daughter and I wasn’t even asked if the event or date would be suitable. Hubs suffers from severe MH issues so it wasn’t the most appropriate gift in the first place and in the end our LG was sick so we couldn’t go.

aibu for resenting spending a chunky amount on someone who basically only acknowledges her brother and not his wife or child?

OP posts:
HotGirlInHell · 17/12/2023 17:00

Well surely it's up to him. It's his sister.

CrispsandCheeseSandwich · 17/12/2023 17:01

It sounds like he wants to reciprocate with a similar gift to the one she gave him, which isn't particularly unreasonable really.

Ladyritacircumference · 17/12/2023 17:01

Ignore the request. If they say anything, tell them it must be a mistake as you were under the impression that you didn’t ‘do’ gifts.

AnnaMagnani · 17/12/2023 17:02

She's your DH's sister. Your mistake was not leaving it all up to him from the outset.

Grimmz · 17/12/2023 17:03

YABU to use the term hubs

Yesididntdothat · 17/12/2023 17:05

Of course she will bother more for her brother than her brother's wife! Ignoring her niece is worse though.

GiveMyHeadPeaceffs · 17/12/2023 17:05

If it's your husband's sister then it's up to him surely?

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