To question DH huffing at this

[cloverclover65]

Sat morning. He likes to line up plans for the day. I said the kids need a shower before they get dressed and before all that (they played sport day before) and he huffed and rolled his eyes. I said that’s disrespectful. He’s done this before. He seemed to dislike me interrupting his timetable of fun. AIBU to mention it?

I think this is easy to work around tbh. If you know he likes plans to work out "just so", I think you need to say to him:

"I notice you find it stressful if the kids aren't ready to leave on a Sat morn. I also don't like the way you roll your eyes at me when I say they could do with a shower. I'd like to propose that on Friday night from here on in, we discuss the weekends plans and ensure the kids have their shower Friday night so we're all ready to go Sat morn without any fuss".

I am not sure I would have mentioned that TBH. Shower seems like a non-event. I wouldn’t mention that I need to poop before heading out for a family day out.
I am wondering how often you do mention trivial things before deciding which one of you was being unreasonable.

Yes... Huffing about something like this is disrespectful and there's no reason he couldn't have figured out that it'd be a good idea to make sure the kids would be clean and ready for his Saturday plans himself.

(tbh kids going to bed without having showered after sport sounds a bit grim anyway. )

He’s WFH tomorrow and the kids are off (playdate here afternoon). When he is up and down from his office, he likes to tell them when they can and can’t go on devices and what they could do to amuse themselves which causes issues as I’m the one looking after them and he’s working. If I mention that too, he huffs. So he likes to plan things, fair enough, but sometimes it’s as if he micromanages in his job role and carries it thru to family life as he WFH.

Unless they actually smell - which I very much doubt if you were happy for them to go to bed without washing - I'd just go with the day of fun and worry about showers later.

They were ok but were really tired so it was straight to bed. We were due out later for Xmas do so would be easier to do in morning.

It’s small in the scheme of things. It was just the instant huff…

Due out later on the Sat.

He’s now sulking.