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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Newborn / centre parcs

31 replies

Grinchismybestie · 17/12/2023 15:31

so I can’t believe I’m say worried about this today but baby is sleeping and I’m now wondering what the best thing to do is.
back story - first Xmas with out DP
2 primary school aged children ( 1 is mine from previous relationships and 1 is his from previous relationship )
we lost DP 6 months ago, and I had our first DD together last night who was not due until after Xmas.
I had booked us to spend Xmas at centre parcs originally just the 3 of us.
new baby is doing so well and we should be home together as a family tomorrow. I really couldn’t think of anything worse of being in our house Xmas day this year.
but is taking a very very new born baby to centre parcs awful ? We won’t be doing much just mainly enjoying the peace awake from the chaos that is family members and spending time with one another.
if we are at home, especially now the little one has blessed us with her arrival I know there will be no peace at Xmas - DP family will be here every day without fail - invited or not.

OP posts:
DappledThings · 17/12/2023 15:35

I say go for it. Will you be breastfeeding? I don't know anything about making up bottles and how much you need to take for that but otherwise if if you're feeling recovered enough it sounds like a great idea to be away from everything.

Totally understand why you want to be.

Original poster
Grinchismybestie · 17/12/2023 15:36

Sorry for the typos my eyes are blurry 😂

OP posts:
OurfriendsintheNE · 17/12/2023 15:47

Congratulations on the arrival of the little one. It sounds like it would be good for you all if you’re able to. I would leave the decision to Thursday or Friday and see how things are going, but if all’s going well and you feel up to it I don’t see why you shouldn’t go.

Are the kids old enough to go in the swimming pool themselves with you supervising poolside with the baby?

MontblancTheSecond · 17/12/2023 15:49

No, what you need is a good friend to gatekeep your door and cook for you, not a car drive while just having given birth, intensive lack of sleep and two children and a baby on your backseat.
Call a friend, that’s what they are for.
And congrats with the little one!

Mammyloveswine · 17/12/2023 15:58

I think you'd be fine to do center parcs! I did with a 4 week old so admittedly not as brand new but it was lovely!

Congratulations op and sending you lots of 💕💕💕💕

CatOnAMushroom · 17/12/2023 16:03

Mammyloveswine · 17/12/2023 15:58

I think you'd be fine to do center parcs! I did with a 4 week old so admittedly not as brand new but it was lovely!

Congratulations op and sending you lots of 💕💕💕💕

On your own with 2 older grieving children though?

OP only you can know what you are physically and emotionally capable of this soon after giving birth. If you do decide to stay at home could you go to a friends or relative for the daytimes to get out if the house and change your Christmas routines/traditions if you feel you need to. All the best

Lulu1919 · 17/12/2023 16:05

It sure how the bedrooms work etc but could you take another adult with you ?

tdino · 17/12/2023 16:11

Very close to what I did.

Dd was born a week early on 18th. By 2nd January I was a near wreck from the visitors so went for a week from the 3rd with the children. DH didn't come as was working.

Utter peace. Walks from door. Loved every second and is still one of the best holidays I've had with small children.

Original poster
Grinchismybestie · 17/12/2023 16:13

@tdino honestly I just know it will be chaos - everyone will want to crowd around - I know they mean well.
i have not yet even told anyone apart from my best friend who has the kids that she has been born.
the thought of sending that message is feeling very over whelming.

OP posts:
tdino · 17/12/2023 16:16

Then go. I had post natal anxiety after first baby and the Christmas stress set it off with second. That's why we went.

They make everything very easy for you.

Contact access team. Ask for help if needed. Presumably many things will be booked already? By you?

If it's whinfell PM me as a magical person I know is going and I'm sure she would be a friendly face if you needed one.

Caspianberg · 17/12/2023 16:18

I would totally go.
How old are older children?

daisybe · 17/12/2023 16:42

Grinchismybestie · 17/12/2023 16:13

@tdino honestly I just know it will be chaos - everyone will want to crowd around - I know they mean well.
i have not yet even told anyone apart from my best friend who has the kids that she has been born.
the thought of sending that message is feeling very over whelming.

Maybe hold off on telling them and try to enjoy your newborn bubble for a few days.

You've a lot of emotions to deal with and I think you can allow yourself some grace and privacy for a few days while you get used to having a baby again.
If you still feel it's going to be a bit much after a few days, maybe go to CP, perhaps with a friend?

Personally, I think having that peace may be nice while you navigate the first few weeks.

Tropicalmamman · 17/12/2023 16:49

First of all, massive hugs for all you’ve been through.

I did similar after our youngest got out of NICU so the older ones had a holiday after a long slog going back and forward to visit youngest in hospital. CP itself is great for babies and young kids.

Only advice I can offer is take loads of clothing for newborn as there was no washing machines in the lodge or anywhere within the CP we visited. I’d taken only a few outfits and assumed I’d be able to wash stuff while there.

DragonMama3 · 17/12/2023 22:00

I took my 3 week old to Butlins Skegness for a week in 2017. She loved it and was spoilt rotten.

I'd breastfeed or express to boost her natural immunity. I did.

DragonMama3 · 17/12/2023 22:01

Which CP are you going to hun?

DragonMama3 · 17/12/2023 22:01

is the other child's Mum still alive?

AppaTheSixLeggedFlyingBison · 17/12/2023 22:16

I'm sorry for your loss OP. Congratulations on the safe arrival of your little one.
My advice would be to do what it is you feel you need. Is there a friend who would come with you? Even if not for Christmas day itself the other days?

Nagado · 17/12/2023 22:39

Congratulations and I’m so sorry that such a wonderful thing has happened in amongst so much grief 💐

If you’re up to the drive, I think it would be an amazing thing to do. Your newborn is going to be at the stage where they’re at their most portable, while the other two will be old enough to go for a bike ride or swim while you sit there with the baby. Their ovens are an absolute pain in the arse though, so you might want to do something relatively low maintenance for dinner. Also, if you go on one of the FB pages for your location, lots of people who have paid for trees are offering to leave them behind for the next person. If not, just string some fairy lights up to make it cosy. And Home Bargains do the smokeless logs for a couple of quid, rather than paying £87 for three logs at CP.

Hottenan · 17/12/2023 22:47

Personally I don’t think it’s a good idea.

Hols24 · 17/12/2023 22:51

Sorry for what an awful time you've been through, and congratulations on the birth of your new baby. Whatever you decide is the right thing to do, yanbu!! Take care xxx

plantpotsandbugs · 17/12/2023 23:01

I understand why you would want to, but I think it would be difficult.

The driving, the logistics, unfamiliar surroundings, all the stuff you would have to pack, having to entertain/supervise older kids on not much sleep.

If you stayed at home could family help with the older kids?

I'm sorry, it must be so difficult. Congratulations on your new arrival though Smile xxx

Morechocmorechoc · 17/12/2023 23:10

Recent experience.....full of kids coughing and sneezing all over the place. It's a terrible idea with a newborn, esp early one. When they catch a nasty cough, cold, flu it can lead to rsv problems later. No way would I do that.

I'm so sorry for your loss though, I'd want to nit be home too. Sadly i think it's best for your new baby though.

BreadInCaptivity · 17/12/2023 23:15

Personally I think it's a great idea based on your opening post.

It's a very child friendly place where you can chill out in the knowledge you won't be disturbed.

I'm so sorry for your loss and appreciate why being at home would be very difficult for you.

Changing the environment can be helpful when navigating grief and going somewhere where the older children can keep busy and you can navigate that with a baby in a child friendly place seems sensible to me.

CP is also so pretty at Christmas with the forest and lights so just walking around can feel quite magical.

Good wishes whatever you decide OP Flowers

cestlavielife · 17/12/2023 23:18

Is it ,short drive away?
Are older kids old enough to go buy milk or bread from the shop? Or whatever needed? Do you have enough funds to order in as much as needed?
How will you drop off car at car park ?
If you feel up to it and other kids are self sufficient and helpful go for it

Rollonfriday22 · 17/12/2023 23:19

Every time I go go CP there are what look like days old babies there. I think it’s a lovely idea! Enjoy.

And congratulations on baby Lucy x