DH trying to do too much at once

[cloverclover65]

DH frequently tries to get ready to leave the house with loads of kit for his hobby whilst trying to play a game of football with the kids in the garden whilst trying to get them ready and out the door ALL at the same time. It causes stress and arguments between him and the kids as he’s rushing all over the place and subsequently rushing them. He just can’t do one thing at a time and get them to wait for him. It’s so frustrating!

DH is the same. He is completely time blind. We have spent years working on it.

What are your coping strategies? It upset the kids this morning he is in and out trying to play a match with them then he’s rushing them out the door. He tries to cram so much in.

The coping strategies were really around making DH aware he was doing it and then helping him not to do it anymore. It was a long frustrating process but we have two kids on the spectrum and both DH and I have traits but wouldn’t be on the spectrum so I knew where it was coming from. There have been times where DH makes two sets of plans with people in different counties literally over a hundred miles apart within an hour of each other. He knew about the plans but his ability to organise time was non existent. The sane stuff you describe too frustrating the kids with his overloading behaviour.

What was he like when you raised it with him? Whenever I raise it with him later in the evening, he is defensive and says it's fine it's fine. I do pick my battles so I try to stay out of the way in his chaos as he huffs and puffs if I try to intervene. I don't want to tell him how to parent but also he's making everything so much harder for himself and stressing himself out.

He also overloads us with plans. Let's do this now, then I'll do that, then you can do that etc. When I said I want the kids to have a wash first before all that as they need it before they get ready, he huffs at me like that's messing up what he wants them to do.

He works from home and has a high powered job that requires micromanaging.
It's weird that he can manage time excellently at work and do one thing at a time but can't see when things are a bad time in family life. If I raise it, he huffs at me.

I think it's habit that he can't differentiate between work and family.