AIBU to think my Husband is selfish

[Simp88]

So last Tuesday I had my wisdom teeth removed 3 in total - this has been planned for 14 months due to strikes and appointments etc.

I had them out under a general in hospital and have felt worse for wear since!

i ended up in that much agony turns out it was dry socket and I needed to go to A&E to have treatment.

since then I’ve contracted Norovirus!

we have 2 children of school age that need one of us around. I have always been the default parent to take the time off from work if the children are ill or even if my is ill husband.

im not fit to look after the children at the moment and we have no one to help and especially since we have Noro - no one is going to want to catch that around Christmas!

I have asked him to take a few days off to help with the kids and he makes me feel awful about it.

he works shifts 3 weeks on and 2 weeks off. He’s currently on his 1sr week of shifts.

AIBU to think he’s selfish - it’s ok for me to take time off work and affect my absence but not him?

I think when you're well again you need to have a come to Jesus conversation with your husband about the division of labour when illness hits. If your bloke doesn't have your back when you're ill, the relationship doesn't have years in it without resentment and he needs to know that.

He's been allowed to be selfish by you taking all the time off when it's needed. That stops now.

Hope you feel better. Dry socket and noro would have me lying on the floor in bits.

I was a single parent so did this but thinking woman still have to do it all alone when they have a husband is just depressing. How crap is that. Your relationship does not sound healthy.

My OH is the opposite when I’m ill OP. Constantly telling me « get back in bed » and « what you doing that for woman go and rest ».

It shows how he values you. I know it might be painful but you should watch how he is treating you! X

I just don’t understand his reasoning as to why he can’t take a few days off to help me

In theory, he should absolutely take the time off.

But if he has a few days off to look after the kids because you’re unwell, then he catches it himself then he’s going to have to take more time off and you’ll have to also take the time off to look after the kids when he’s sick.

You’ll both end up having lots of time off unnecessarily.

If it was me, I would get him to go to work but get him to take over 100% when he’s home including prepping food so you can just shove it in the oven.
Then when he’s at work just laze on the sofa as much as possible.

If he catches it (which he most likely will) then you do the same as him.
You go to work as normal but prep the food etc for him so he only needs to do the bare minimum.

If he is not allowed to take annual leave at other times of the year he can take parental leave or emergency leave to take care of dependants.

There really is no excuse.