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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Toddler has been vomiting all evening. And I have emetophobia. Please help

48 replies

JKDcot · 16/12/2023 21:49

Sorry I know I sound cold and selfish. But my toddler has been vomiting all evening. I assume norovirus not something he’s eaten.

My husband has helped to deal with it and I have done all I can to be supportive and loving. But I have emetophobia and I am feeling extremely anxious. Any advice?

OP posts:
TooTender · 16/12/2023 21:54

if your husband is able to keep dealing with the toddler, let him - you can keep on top of other tasks until it passes and stay out of their way (then give him a nice restful break when toddler is better).

Do you have anyone you can call in for help if needed?

This will pass. Your toddler is safe with your husband. You just need to wait it out. All will be well again soon.

Have you tried any treatment or therapy to help you long term with your emetophobia? If not that might be something to consider when this particular episode has passed.

Hang in there - you’ll all be ok.

1AngelicFruitCake · 16/12/2023 21:59

Deep breaths, you are doing an amazing job. Hopefully it’ll be short lived, children can bounce back quickly. Think how well you’ve done, this is as bad as it gets and you’re doing it!
Think of a treat for tomorrow 😊

1AngelicFruitCake · 16/12/2023 22:00

I have emetophobia so I get it!

JKDcot · 16/12/2023 22:00

Thank you so much for your kind words.

I really want to do everything I can for him and I’m trying. But selfish as this sounds, I really don’t want to catch it…. I’m just washing my hands constantly now

OP posts:
coloursquare · 16/12/2023 22:03

It might be something you're immune to already.

1AngelicFruitCake · 16/12/2023 22:03

That’s all you can do, try and out those thoughts in a box and away. I know how you feel, you’re not alone x

CouldIBeAnymoreOuting · 16/12/2023 22:05

Emetaphobe here. Is this the first time he’s been ill with something like this? First time is always a bit of a shock. Hang in there and do what you need to to cope. If it helps, I’ve 4 children, tend to get an illness like this at least once a year, and I’ve only ever once caught one of their v bugs.

JKDcot · 16/12/2023 22:05

I can cope with most things and am not squeamish for blood, cuts, fever, anything else. I just am petrified of vomiting

OP posts:
Glarptip · 16/12/2023 22:09

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

CrispsandCheeseSandwich · 16/12/2023 22:10

JKDcot · 16/12/2023 22:00

Thank you so much for your kind words.

I really want to do everything I can for him and I’m trying. But selfish as this sounds, I really don’t want to catch it…. I’m just washing my hands constantly now

Leaving him with his dad, who is able to deal with it calmly without showing any stress, is doing what you can for him right now.

I have emetophobia and I really don't want to pass it on to my DDs. So DH deals with vomit, and I just busy myself elsewhere so they don't see me panicking in any way.

JanglyBeads · 16/12/2023 22:11

Who are you to judge?

JanglyBeads · 16/12/2023 22:11

To @Glarptip

Bumblebee413 · 16/12/2023 22:12

Pretty easy to tell that you’ve never experienced anything like this @Glarptip. Maybe leave this thread to people genuinely trying to help and go find someone else to kick when they’re down?

@JKDcot sending you lots of love. This will pass. Well done for doing your best to mother despite how horrendous this is feeling for you right now x

Bumblebee413 · 16/12/2023 22:13

Actually, maybe don’t go find someone else. Just try to be kind next time or just don’t comment. If you can’t say anything nice etc…

JKDcot · 16/12/2023 22:14

Thank you again for your kind words to those with lovely advice.

I think the challenge is wanting to help and hold him and make him feel better. Whilst not wanting him to feel my panic.

I wish I could just “get over it” but I’ve suffered with this phobia since I was 12 and I can assure you. I’ve tried to fix it but haven’t found anything to work.

OP posts:
Justbecause19 · 16/12/2023 22:16

I find following a very bland diet myself for 48hours after one of my DC has been sick helpful. It does minimise how badly you get it if you do end up catching it. However plenty of hand washing, wearing a mask etc will help. Usually my anxiety is enough to put me off eating anyway!

Hiddenvoice · 16/12/2023 22:17

I’ve been there in the last month and I know the guilt and fear you’re going through.

If your dh js okay to carry on then let him and you keep focussed on everything else. Whilst my dh helped my toddler, I kept up with cleaning the clothes/ bedding and house and kept sterilising. When she eased up a little, I was then able to sit with her but made sure I had everything I needed around me- bucket, towels, wipes, hand sanitising etc

I’m hoping it passes quickly for you!

PremiumRaa · 16/12/2023 22:17

I understand I also have emetophobia.

It may be reassuring to know that very often adults are immune to sickness bugs that children get.

The vomiting usually only lasts 12-24 hours.

Try to get control of the situation by getting out the bleach and rubber gloves and cleaning all the nearby surfaces and touch points so you feel a bit safer.

Take your toddler time water and a comforting toy and do your best to comfort them, it will make both of you feel better.

You have my sympathy I have a huge phobia of dealing with a sickness bug whilst I'm home alone. It's not always logical but it can be terrifying. Deep breaths - this time tomorrow things will be a lot better.

TooTender · 16/12/2023 22:18

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

No need to be awful.

BelfastSmile · 16/12/2023 22:19

Try not to stress too much, @JKDcot. Your husband can deal with it - hopefully he's also off work tomorrow? That'll probably be it over and done with.

In terms of you catching it, firstly, you probably won't, as long as your DH is cleaning things properly. Try to avoid touching your eyes/face, as that's a way it can be transmitted. If you were to catch it, can someone take your toddler if your DH is back at work? Then at least you'd be able to stay in bed.

OhYouBadBadKitten · 16/12/2023 22:19

Having a known action plan helped me a lot. So I had a list of scenarios and what we would do. Towels on the floor, spare sheets ready. You've got this. Tomorrow will come and it will feel better.

HamBone · 16/12/2023 22:21

I wear rubber gloves when someone is sick and sterilize absolutely everything -door handles, bathroom obviously, put any towels they may have used on a hot wash.

Strangely, I can deal with the grim aftermath (I.e., clean up if a child is sick on the floor, bedclothes) it’s the act of vomiting that I can’t handle.

JKDcot · 16/12/2023 22:21

Thank you all for being so kind.

my husband has washed the sheets and towels. I have basically just provided new clean bedding and pyjamas. I have washed my hands thoroughly and not eaten any dinner just in case (although I do feel hungry…).

my son has finally fallen asleep so if he gets a good nights sleep and doesn’t vomit in the morning does that mean it’s passed?

OP posts:
miniegg3 · 16/12/2023 22:23

I feel you, I'm emetaphobic too! The first noro bug he had last year was awful to deal with. "luckily" dad had had it the night before so he looked after him in bed while I panicked elsewhere. It's something I really don't want to pass on to him because it can be seriously debilitating, and I got it from my mother and her reactions.
Slowly I've got better with dealing with vomit from him, but norovirus is a huge panic for me! He's been sick this week with a fever and I've been calm enough knowing its probably not catching to me, you will get better dealing with it I promise x

miniegg3 · 16/12/2023 22:24

miniegg3 · 16/12/2023 22:23

I feel you, I'm emetaphobic too! The first noro bug he had last year was awful to deal with. "luckily" dad had had it the night before so he looked after him in bed while I panicked elsewhere. It's something I really don't want to pass on to him because it can be seriously debilitating, and I got it from my mother and her reactions.
Slowly I've got better with dealing with vomit from him, but norovirus is a huge panic for me! He's been sick this week with a fever and I've been calm enough knowing its probably not catching to me, you will get better dealing with it I promise x

Also keep a good stock of bleach, clinell wipes and noro killing hard sanitiser for times like this