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Original poster

Never posting images of my kids on social media

56 replies

Mcemmabell · 16/12/2023 19:40

I used to post images of my little boy on Facebook and Instagram until he was about 2. And with my second until he was just under 1. Then I suddenly started to feel uncomfortable about it and stopped. They're now 5 and 2 so it's been a while. I have a photo sharing app for family and I might message a friend a picture once in a while - but that's it. What does everyone think about this topic? Am I being unreasonable not to post anything or is it the way to go? I'd love to know what the general consensus is.

I don't like to do it because :
My kids are too young to consent
Taking social media friendly images and pictures takes me out of the moment
I feel like it puts pressure on me to make things look perfect
I'm concerned that pictures could be shared / saved without my consent
I wonder how my children will feel when they're older teenagers

I'm not mad if other people choose to do it though. My best friend still does, and my brother. It's just not for me.

OP posts:
CrackersCheeseAndWinePlease · 16/12/2023 22:34

I have older teens who post selfies daily and an 8 year old. I've posted pictures of my youngest on SM but I only have family and friends on there anyway.
It's rare I post pictures of my youngest on SM I've probably done it twice in the last year

Nicesalad · 16/12/2023 22:35

NashvilleQueen · 16/12/2023 20:39

YANBU. However some people who do it are virtue signalling. Like posting a photo of their child on their own with a Santa sticker over their face. What was the point in uploading anything at all? Just don’t post pictures with them on.

God yes. Someone I know has posted at least one photo of their child on social media every day for two years but never shows their face. Always from behind or wearing a big hat etc. I agree it's virtual signalling.

What virtue are they signalling?

Nicesalad · 16/12/2023 22:37

People need to be aware that even if their social media is "locked down" or they use a photo sharing app 1. The company that owns it can still see your photo 2. Things might go wrong with your settings and photos might end up where you don't want them to.

EasterIssland · 16/12/2023 22:37

I only post them from the back or can’t see the face and normally when there is something important behind

don’t post anything about his day to day or whether I’m proud or fed up of him
i used to post loads when i was younger and nowadays i regret posting them so i don’t want him to feel ashamed about the info i once posted about him

110APiccadilly · 16/12/2023 22:43

I don't, generally. I have given permission for a couple of group photos with them in to go on closed social media groups in the past, but that's it. I send photos privately to family.

I don't think it's a terrible thing to do, but I just feel happier not doing it.

RudsyFarmer · 16/12/2023 22:46

I do, but very very few.

venetiancleaning · 16/12/2023 22:47

I don't post picture of my children on social media.

Equally, I don't judge those who do. Unless they post a picture of their child in the bath or the likes. I judge then.

mollyfolk · 16/12/2023 22:51

I used to post alot when my kids were small. My family are hours away and the other side lives in the UK so I wanted to show them growing up. I started to become uncomfortable when my eldest was like is that my photo ? Who are the people commenting on it? So I stopped. We have family what’s apps now.

Wellhellooooodear · 16/12/2023 22:51

Occasionally of my daughter (13) on her birthday etc but always with her permission. My son (11) never as he doesn't want me to.

YouStupidGirl · 16/12/2023 22:52

I actually think it's bonkers that you're even thinking you might BU for not posting photos of your dc's on SM?

What has the world come to?!

Chipsahoyagain · 16/12/2023 22:53

Rayi · 16/12/2023 19:52

YANBU. However some people who do it are virtue signalling. Like posting a photo of their child on their own with a Santa sticker over their face. What was the point in uploading anything at all? Just don’t post pictures with them on.

Yes! Like lol at me, look at me but please don't even dare look at me. FRO

Wanderpeg · 16/12/2023 22:54

I’ve never shared pictures of dc online.

Perhaps a side effect from my work, but realising the amount of predators that trawl through SM collecting images scarred me for life.

Innocent bath or beach pictures, pictures of children in hospital beds with nappies on. It must be lovely being stupid or naive enough to expect the rest of the world to view that photo as you do but I’d expect any adult to bloody know better.

Even with completely dressed pictures, children's faces are being superimposed on graphic child abuse images and shared.

Wellhellooooodear · 16/12/2023 22:54

venetiancleaning · 16/12/2023 22:47

I don't post picture of my children on social media.

Equally, I don't judge those who do. Unless they post a picture of their child in the bath or the likes. I judge then.

I have a friend on FB whose 8 year old DD has been very ill and she was posting photos of her in her bed covered in a rash and in hospital. I was horrified. This woman seems really cool and normal IRL and is also a paramedic!

Wanderpeg · 16/12/2023 22:57

Nicesalad · 16/12/2023 22:37

People need to be aware that even if their social media is "locked down" or they use a photo sharing app 1. The company that owns it can still see your photo 2. Things might go wrong with your settings and photos might end up where you don't want them to.

Or 3. that a family member, friend (or someone else that person knows with access to their device) is not to be trusted.

FranticallyFrank · 16/12/2023 23:04

There are influencers who use their children to advertise products and show the whole child in photos and videos, including their hair, but the face is out of shot, eg the child is looking down.

I don’t think this absolves the parents. They are still using the image of their child to earn money. That has a habit of not ending very well for the children (just read I’m Glad my Mom Died..).

OzziePopPop · 16/12/2023 23:04

romdowa · 16/12/2023 19:45

I don't share pictures of my child at all on social media. It's just not something I'm comfortable with and I don't think people I went to college with 10 years ago really want to see them either.

We’re exactly the same in this house, if my kids (now teens) want to post their own image then they know what’s ok etc but DH and I have never posted any images of them at all. Perfectly normal, surely?

LeaveBritneyAlone · 16/12/2023 23:07

YANBU.

I have predicted for quite some time now that in 10/15 years those who post endlessly and those who make a career out of plastering their kids all over SM (Lad Baby et al) will be hit with very well deserved law suits from their kids for not or two ring their privacy. And I hope they do.

LeaveBritneyAlone · 16/12/2023 23:07

Oh and I don’t post pics of my kids (or anything really) on SM:

graciasinmorzine · 16/12/2023 23:07

Rayi · 16/12/2023 19:52

YANBU. However some people who do it are virtue signalling. Like posting a photo of their child on their own with a Santa sticker over their face. What was the point in uploading anything at all? Just don’t post pictures with them on.

Because you like participating in social media and might want to share what you’re up to with your friends and family- but not want your child’s face to be misused or stored as facial recognition data? So you use a secure app or software to blur/cover it prior to upload?

Wish more parents ‘virtue signalled’ if that’s what you call it. All I see are tech illiterate thickos with no concept of their child’s digital footprint.

gotomomo · 16/12/2023 23:13

There's no consensus, but I'd also say that there's a huge difference between posting pictures and few times a year on a facebook/instagram account set to friends only and those who publicly post pictures on these mummy blogs etc. I don't think teens of the future will be angry because auntie Helen or their old next door neighbour saw their first day at school picture, they might be that their parents tried to monetise their childhood!

Minglingpringle · 16/12/2023 23:15

It’s not fair on the children to do it.

LeaveBritneyAlone · 16/12/2023 23:16

gotomomo · 16/12/2023 23:13

There's no consensus, but I'd also say that there's a huge difference between posting pictures and few times a year on a facebook/instagram account set to friends only and those who publicly post pictures on these mummy blogs etc. I don't think teens of the future will be angry because auntie Helen or their old next door neighbour saw their first day at school picture, they might be that their parents tried to monetise their childhood!

Oh definitely.

95% of people I know post the odd picture a few times a year. A few people I know go full pelt documenting every hour of every day - and I think their poor kids must never see them without a phone in their hand. One FB friend posts something literally every day and those poor kids must get so bored of posing in front of their very pedestrian dinner, or their papier mache volcano, or taking burgers to a homeless person. Do these people’s batteries never bloody run out?!

Rayi · 16/12/2023 23:18

graciasinmorzine · 16/12/2023 23:07

Because you like participating in social media and might want to share what you’re up to with your friends and family- but not want your child’s face to be misused or stored as facial recognition data? So you use a secure app or software to blur/cover it prior to upload?

Wish more parents ‘virtue signalled’ if that’s what you call it. All I see are tech illiterate thickos with no concept of their child’s digital footprint.

Show quote history

You can share things without posting your child though. No need to post them at all with something blurring their face. In my view it’s all or nothing. No name, no face, no DOB shared. Dancing in between the two seems daft and who is it for

gotomomo · 16/12/2023 23:18

@LeaveBritneyAlone

So true, my battery is usually run out! Mine are adults now and both have strict security settings too, our lives aren't that interesting that anyone else wants to hear about them

Cupcakekiller · 16/12/2023 23:20

DS is almost 18 and I first shared his baby pic back on MySpace back in the day. He's consented to pics for years now. He's not remotely bothered.