Is it worth trying to save this toxic friendship?

[10yDrama]

DD is 10. So only a few months left of primary school, but still, that's quite a lot of school days.

It's a very small school. No option to change class.

Not a lot of other friendship options. I think to be honest a lot of them are ready to move on.

But she's feeling very trapped and I'm sure others will have experienced the same. So would love some advice please.

No matter what my DD seems to do the other child finds fault in it. If DD doesn't want to do/play/talk about what the OC does then OC will storm off, cry or shout. This makes DD feel guilty and either give in and do something she doesn't want to or makes her just feel crap.

If she tries to play with someone else then OC will cry, tell a teacher or tell other children that DD is being unkind.

I've spoken to school, they know what's going on and have been as good as I think they can in that they've reassured DD that she can come and explain to the teacher what is happening and she isn't going to get in trouble if OC is upset etc if DD hasn't been unkind.

I've tried to talk to OC mum as best I can but she just sees it as kid stuff, as has much bigger things on her plate, and her answer was for them to start afresh. Which won't work, I don't believe OC really knows how else to behave.

I'm running out of ideas but I'm so sad that all my DD can cheer herself up with is that soon they'll be at different senior schools.

Hideous age op. Kids are fucking cruel. I know you're probably reassuring her she's done nothing wrong.

Honestly it sound brutal as a mum and for your dd but i would throw out there is there any ND either side ?

Can you put her into any clubs outside of school to help build her network and confidence outside of school ? Sometimes that doesn't lessen what's going on at school but helps balance it some what

Hi @namechangnancy

Yes ND both sides. Although quite different children and very different family backgrounds.

DD is very academically bright, passed 11+ and going to a selective school. She also attends more clubs and has more hobbies than OC. DD can't talk about secondary school, clubs or that she has friends outside of school. As that causes such upset (I'm assuming from a place of fear of change and fear of OC losing DD but it's so constant and really getting unpleasant.

Just feel like she's so trapped. Horrible feeling that until July she potentially just has to put up with not having much fun at break/lunch time.

Is there anything your DD could volunteer for at school which would occupy some of their playtime and also involve other children?