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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Hosting & no toilet door

24 replies

Questionasker5664 · 16/12/2023 15:08

This is an odd one, but please settle a debate between me and my husband, its weird to have people round with no toilet door....right?
Recently we were invited to a family members for just a little get together, not close family but get along well and see each other a few times a year, with some of their family and friends who we've met before but don't really know beyond a quick chat.
All had a lovely time, had some food & drink, after a couple of hours went up to use the toilet, and took DC with me as he would need it as well to find there was no toilet door.
Later on I found out they are having work done and the door is off during the process. At this point i did need to go so got my child to kind of stand guard at the top of the stairs and was fine.
I think its odd to have people round and would wait until its sorted, or at least warn people and I would have had limited drinks so I wouldn't need to go. I would be mortified for a vague acquaintance to see me on the toilet, or equally to walk up and interrupt someone else.
My husband thinks it's fine and you just shout to the group that you're going for a wee no one come up, and laugh it off

In case it makes a difference house is a normal sized 3 bed, toilet visible from half way up the stairs and downstairs is open plan no doors to shut between the exposed bathroom and other guests.

OP posts:

DeedlessIndeed · 16/12/2023 15:12

Yeah, I wouldn't be hosting without a toilet door. That's just not appropriate!

Was the frame still in place? If so, it would take only a few minutes with a screwdriver and a friend to reattach the door?

FuzzyPuffling · 16/12/2023 15:14

Grim.
Even a curtain on a tension pole would be better than nothing.

10HailMarys · 16/12/2023 15:16

At the very least they should have warned you rather than just letting you discover the fact when you went for a wee!

TomatoSandwiches · 16/12/2023 15:17

May aswell have a shit on the living room window!

No, nope, I would have gone home and stayed there.

DuploTrain · 16/12/2023 15:17

That’s really weird. They definitely should have mentioned it!

And preferably done some kind of temporary curtain arrangement. Or just put the door there so you could kind of lean it against the frame or something.

Reugny · 16/12/2023 15:18

FuzzyPuffling · 16/12/2023 15:14

Grim.
Even a curtain on a tension pole would be better than nothing.

I immediately thought then put a curtain up instead.

It is absolutely horrible for women particularly pre-teen/teenage girls who are on their period.

Then others with certain medical conditions.

PuttingDownRoots · 16/12/2023 15:20

Even just putting up a sheet over the door frame

SquashPenguin · 16/12/2023 15:21

Yeah that’s weird. Our downstairs WC didn’t have a door as we’ve just had it redone and can’t get a carpenter for love nor money (it’s a non- standard door frame), so we bought a concertina sliding door from argos for £40 to solve the problem over Xmas! No way would I have people
round and not have a door.

Toddlerteaplease · 16/12/2023 15:21

My parents new build has had all the doors removed, so they can fit the carpets. The race is on to find a carpenter to trim the doors asap. Won't stop me staying over at Christmas though.

Toddlerteaplease · 16/12/2023 15:22

The carpet company didn't actually bother to tell them they'd removed all the doors.

Deebee90 · 16/12/2023 15:23

Hell no . As someone that has bowel disease I couldn’t even use the toliet either. Would have to go home

PaulaPocket · 16/12/2023 15:24

10HailMarys · 16/12/2023 15:16

At the very least they should have warned you rather than just letting you discover the fact when you went for a wee!

What about the smell if it was something worse?

TurquoiseSeasAndSilverSand · 16/12/2023 15:31

Probably outing myself, but we had this at the top of open riser stairs right infront of a long window. Family over for Christmas and we nailed a big heavy throw over the doorway and gappy partition, plus a reversible busy/free sign hung on a nail. We wouldn't have just left it open.

Jitterybugs · 16/12/2023 15:31

This reminds me of a couple of years ago I was in a pub with my friend. I noticed when I went to the ladies loo the cubicle door hinge was starting to loosen and I mentioned to one of the staff in case it fell off. Sure enough I went in an hour later and the door had fallen off.

There were 3 hen party girls in the queue and as each one went in to use the toilet an another one went in with them and held the door up to block the view. Then they swapped places passing the door along till they’d all pee’d 😆

PatienceOfEngels · 16/12/2023 15:37

I have a recurring nightmare where I need to go to the toilet and every cubicle has no door 😱

Jewelanemone · 16/12/2023 15:40

PatienceOfEngels · 16/12/2023 15:37

I have a recurring nightmare where I need to go to the toilet and every cubicle has no door 😱

I have this too! Either no door or the toilet is filthy/ broken and I can't use it.

OneTC · 16/12/2023 15:43

I once went to stay with a mate in Paris and he was super proud of the fact his extremely tiny flat had a sit down toilet. It was a really old building and the other flats shared communal hole in the floor BUT HIS TOILET HAD NO DOOR and you may as well just have gone for shit on the coffee table.

He was offended for days about me preference for the hole

spiderlight · 16/12/2023 15:45

I have those nightmares as well! I'm quite often running round my old secondary school desperately looking for a toilet, and then there are no doors and/or it's filthy and/or the girls who bullied me are hanging round outside laughing at me. I have a terribly shy bladder that quite often just clamps shut just because it feels like it, so there's no way I'd be able to use a toilet with no door!

Hankunamatata · 16/12/2023 15:52

I would have put up an extending pole and a curtain

Beargrumps22 · 16/12/2023 15:52

I have a real problem with lots of toilets cleanliness space privacy etc after being abused in a toilet years ago so this would make me want to go home rather than use it. i would be worried in case someone came up while i was using it as many have said what is wrong with a sheet blanket or even towel tacked up or one of those concertina doors instead

Missingpate · 16/12/2023 16:28

Sounds awful, they should have certainly warned everyone!

Was once travelling in a group round South Africa staying in budget hotels with multiple beds in the rooms we booked and typically an en-suite. These never had doors! They mostly all had half swing doors hung in the middle, like in a bar in a Western, and you could hear / see anyone in there. I remember trying not to drink so as not to need to go unless we were out. Just why?!

starfishmummy · 16/12/2023 16:31

Grim and this is from somone whose bathroom door is currently off, but the loo is very definitely separate and has a door!!

We're not entertaining and I don't think any casual visitors plan to take a quick dip!

Floralnomad · 16/12/2023 16:36

It should definitely be covered in some way - sheet / curtain before you have people round . I wouldn’t have used it , even with the guarding child .

Original poster

Questionasker5664 · 16/12/2023 18:01

If I'd known we probably wouldn't have gone, we live an hour away so couldn't wait once I realised but we didn't stay much longer in case any of the children needed more than a wee.
The weird thing is no one else said anything.....not sure if others already knew or were just being polite but no one said anything about using it etc

OP posts:

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