DH is only child and has ongoing issues with his mother due to her inability to ever be or been a mother. This has continued with our children and there is no basis for a relationship, nor with me. However, he chose to be low contact rather than estranged. 2 years ago we nursed his DF to die from lung cancer in the house and she made that all about her. Their marriage was very unhappy and in the 2 years of his deterioration he barely spoke to her. She is manipulative and self centred solely focused on her diabetes which she has always used for attention. She has no friends, no family as she insults everyone who comes near. Even the carers who get eyes on her 3 times daily. Now 87, we are exhausted putting up with her toxicity and meeting her every need. Every conversation is her saying she wants to die but she has been saying this for decades! She has zero interest in anything or anyone except herself. Has had every test going and even the GP and nurses tell me she is very trying. AIBU to have had enough?