If you used to worry about the future and now don’t, what changed?

[bor]

I need to be more present but I am not - I just worry about the future, mainly having enough money etc to provide our family with the same upbringing I had. It’s not something I need to be hugely concerned over, we have two full time okay incomes & plenty of family that would help if times got dire. We aren’t on the breadline and recognise it’s fortunate to not be.

How do I achieve a present mindset and just live for the day? If you used to be like me but now you’re more chilled about things, what changed your outlook? Thanks.

I was diagnosed with BC two years ago. I've been through all the treatment, come out the other side and all seems good so far, so I'm not wasting a day worrying about stuff. I just refuse to.

Plus I'm closer to retirement, DS has only 2.5 years until he's 18 and if I lost my job tomorrow, we'd survive.

I’m diagnosed with GAD (had counselling and medicated) so you can imagine how much I used to worry about the future!

In addition to PP’s recommendations, I also found that visualizing those “worst case” scenarios helped me to process them, I.e., if I or my DH became v. ill, how would we deal with it? If one of us lost our job, how would we deal with it? If DH buggers off, what would I do, etc. Then I’d come up with a possible strategy and feel better, iyswim.

Several difficult things happened during my childhood, including parental illness and job loss so I know that families get through these situations-we need to have faith that we would too. 💐

I can relate. I have an anxious mindset and have always been an overthinker. Sometimes my anxiety manifests as health anxiety and at other times it fixates on other things. In recent years it has been focused primarily on climate change and sometimes AI.
It peaked last year- the worst anxiety I’ve ever experienced. I couldn’t stop thinking that the apocalypse was imminent and was in a state of panic a lot of the time.

Lately I’ve been much better and the only reason I can find for this is that I started taking HRT earlier in the year. That of course is not going to be relevant or appropriate for lots of people, but for me it’s made a huge difference. So if at all relevant to you, you could consider some HRT!

I noticed how much happier my DH was than me and realised it's because he just doesn't worry about stuff like I do. So I basically try to emulate him now, 'no point worrying, I can't change it' has become my mantra and it's actually starting to work! DH purposely doesn't watch any news and I've adopted that strategy too which also seems to have helped, you can't worry about it if you don't know it's happening

I suppose it's been a fairly radical approach/change but I'm going through something really tough in my personal life right now and am perimenopausal to boot so had to do something or I would have gone under. I'm noticing I'm much more positive and proactive since reducing the worry though and that's meant I've taken opportunities I would probably have turned down if I was still carrying it all around with me.

@Waitingfordoggo Have you spoken to your doctor about your anxiety? Your thoughts sound similar to mine when my anxiety was getting out of control. It might be time to seek help. 💐

Getting older. Another one over 50 here. I am careful about what I read, and try to read novels more than news/social media. My parents were also fairly steady sorts and didn't make a drama out of a crisis, so probably my upbringing too.
There's a lot to be said for the stoic philosophy and working out what you can influence, and what you can do nothing about.
I'm aware that being over 50 means that things are easier financially than it is for our youngsters who are dealing with the cost of housing/childcare etc.

Thank you @HamBone. I’m stable at the moment- HRT has been amazing for me. But at other times in the past I have been on Sertraline which has also been a brilliant drug for me. I’ve also had CBT a few times. I’ve come to accept that anxiety is part of me and that it will likely flare up every now and then. I wouldn’t hesitate to go back on Sertraline if necessary, but for now HRT is great and my anxiety is under control.

I appreciate your thoughts and I’m really sorry to hear you have been to some of the same dark places I have been 💐

My sister died.
It was very quick. She was 5 years younger than me, so energetic and positive and cancer took her from us with very little warning.

Material things and worrying about what will happen have been put into perspective.

I don't know if I'd recommend it, but tbh I am convinced the future will be awful (predominantly irreversible climate change), so it really puts everything else in perspective and very little day to day stresses me! It also encourages me to make the most of today

Whilst you're busy worrying about your future, all your todays are quietly slipping by.

None of us knows what lies ahead. We can make plans but can never be certain that they will come to fruition.

I once read somewhere that we should all think more about our own mortality and remind ourselves that our time on this earth is finite and we don't know when it will end. Just keep in mind that it will indeed end.

Close your eyes and imagine that you have reached the end of your life, with only a few hours remaining. You're mulling over your memories as you lie in the quietness of that time, realising that your time is almost over. You hear a voice, it's your own, saying "do you remember when you started that thread on Mumsnet, about worrying about the future?" "Oh, yes!" you reply, "I do remember. How I wish I could go back to that time." The voice responds "I can make that happen for you. Think about where you were at that time, who you were at that time. What can you see in your mind, what can you hear?" You respond.
Then the voice says, "OK I'm going to take you all the way back there, so you can start to live your life again from that moment. When you open your eyes, you'll be back there again."
So, now open your eyes and feel the joy of having time still ahead of you.

Love that post FoxyLocksie ❤️

I’ve been through a lot of shit for someone my age. Bereavement, family dramas, dv, debt, unemployment, homelessness, heartbreak, losing friends, my young niece had cancer (thankfully recovered). I think I just got to a point where I realised that no matter what, life goes on. I’ve felt so low that I couldn’t imagine ever feeling happy again, yet it passed. When my last breakup/heartbreak happened, instead of feeling like it was the end of the world, I distinctly remember the feeling of looking forward to the sadness passing. It’s life. There are sad and shit times, there are very happy times and the majority of it is average. I know bad things will happen in the future, and I know I will get through them.