I need perspective and for people to tell me if i was being unreasonable or not so I can reflect and either apologise or not when he gets home!
For context, 2 children age 3 & 1. Both awake around 7am. The 1 year old normally naps around 1pm for a couple of hours although she'd be happy to nap anytime from about 11am but we normally push her through lunch.
Not that it really matters but I'm full of cold and feeling rough - didn't have a good sleep and feeling pants today so this is where I don't know if I've gone off on one just because or if it was OK.
We have my car (a family car with child seats in) and predominantly I use, and his work van (which fits the car seats in but only just and he is allowed to use for private use). He uses his work van a lot for private use when it's just him and prior to this recent one which he got a few months ago we used his old work van a a lot more as it was bigger.
Today he planned to go see his mum, with the children, 20 mins away, for a park play and lunch.
10am he says he's going to take his work van and drive to a town to go and buy a new car seat for one of the children which would fit better so he doesn't have to pull his seat so far forward. Fair enough, we need a new seat.
However I pipe up and say that's a ridiculous idea - why would he drive 25 mins in the opposite direction to his mums house, to take 2 children to a shop to buy a car seat, which will then need fitting, to then drive all the way over to his mums house? 10am, my head does a quick calculation of arriving at shop 10:30/40 by the time we now got them sorted to go. Both out the car on his own, into a shop, big box of car seat, get them back to the car, probably put one child in whilst he opens box and leaves the other one ?in a trolly in the car park or messing around in the front seat? Whilst he fits as new seat.
All back in and over to his mum, probably arriving around 11:30 or later, to then have to go to a shop to buy lunch (his mum has dementia so we normally provide food), try and fit in a park play and then lunch. Bearing in mind the little one will be tired and wanting a nap straight after lunch which by now will be about 1:30-2pm?? Arriving home probably around 3pm.
Makes no sense to me.
So he then says he was planning to let the children nap in the car on way home and do a long drive so they can nap rather than bringing them home. Or just give the little one a much later nap.
For one the older one doesn't nap now and if she does fall asleep even for 10 minutes then she is a nightmare at bedtime. So allowing the little one to have 1-2 hour nap means a shite night with the older one, and a rubbish car nap for the little one (she needs good sleeps at weekend as has a busy week with child minder etc). For 2, normally when the little one naps I spend time with the older one just us for a short time. For 3, they will have spent an hour in the car doing a car seat purchase trip, and then another 2 hours for "nap". To me,, 3 hours in a car for the sake of park play and lunch is just silly.
Finally, he is going to that town either this afternoon or tomorrow afternoon ON HIS OWN as needs to help someone out with something. So surely he could zoom into the shop on his own then, nice and easy, no children. He is literally passing it within the next 24 hours!
JUST TAKE THE FAMILY CAR TODAY! All set up with correct seats, pram, changing bag and coats.
This is my thought process.
Was I being unreasonable?
His defence when I asked him why he wanted to do this is "I just wanted to do what I want to do".
In my mind no consideration for the children or his mum. Or me who will deal with the crap bedtime.
Tell me I was in the right here??