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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not know if I should get involved in this work situation?

7 replies

KateLizAn · 16/12/2023 11:07

Name changed for this.

I work in a public sector role at management level. To set the scene: where I work, amongst others there are several admin staff (junior to me) who have been there for a long time, various Heads of Department (senior to me) and the Director who is in charge of everything and generally very very busy.

One member of the admin team (let’s call her Jean) and Head of Department (let’s call her Alice) are friendly and have really taken against another Head of Department (let’s call her Sarah).

Behind Sarah’s back, Jean and Alice are constantly criticising and undermining her. She can’t so much as blow her nose without them commenting on it to each other and other people. It is really out of hand, they’re constantly questioning her expertise and professionalism and it’s potentially really damaging, particularly as Alice often has the ear of the Director.

There is a culture of the admin staff being VERY critical of everyone but this feels very targeted and damaging to Sarah’s career prospects and professional reputation.

I have considered going to HR but the problem is that Alice is HR.

I am unsure what to do. Should I tell Sarah what is going on directly? Go the Director directly? Would the Director have a duty to be confidential about what I tell him?

I don’t want to seem like a gossip or incur the wrath of Alice myself as that could damage my own career prospects (selfish I know but needs must).

Any advice gratefully received, especially anyone with experience of this sort of work situation.

OP posts:
CruCru · 16/12/2023 11:24

Your workplace sounds like a total nightmare. Do you like your job and want to stay there?

Alice is senior to you so you really can't speak to her about this. Who do you directly report to? If you do bring this up to the person you report to, you need concrete evidence that the bullying of Sarah is going on. It can't just be vague stuff about them being unkind.

wideawakeinthemiddleofthenightagain · 16/12/2023 11:29

Sadly, don't think there's anything you can do other than smile and say a friendly word to Sarah when you see her around.

KateLizAn · 16/12/2023 12:55

It is a nightmare. My intention is to leave next year.

I directly report to Sarah, which makes it more tricky.

They are just so deliberately sabotaging her by slagging her off constantly to anyone who’ll listen. It is horrible to watch/hear.

thanks for replies!

OP posts:
AgnesX · 16/12/2023 12:58

Where do you sit in the hierarchy? I think that'll dictate how much or how little you get involved.

Your HR person needs a good shake, what an atrocious way to behave especially in that role.

JanuaryBauble · 16/12/2023 13:01

Is there someone specific for this in the organisation? When I have worked in the public sector there has been - often called Fair Treatment Champions or Behaviour Officers or similar. Usually people with whom you can flag such issues and they can then raise them anonymously.

KateLizAn · 16/12/2023 13:31

AgnesX · 16/12/2023 12:58

Where do you sit in the hierarchy? I think that'll dictate how much or how little you get involved.

Your HR person needs a good shake, what an atrocious way to behave especially in that role.

Yes exactly. The fact she’s the HR person makes it worse.

OP posts:
KateLizAn · 16/12/2023 13:31

JanuaryBauble · 16/12/2023 13:01

Is there someone specific for this in the organisation? When I have worked in the public sector there has been - often called Fair Treatment Champions or Behaviour Officers or similar. Usually people with whom you can flag such issues and they can then raise them anonymously.

thank you I will find out

OP posts:
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