I have become obsessed with Sylvanian Families toys

[SylvanianAddict]

I am a first-time mother to a 10-month-old whom I love dearly but the reality of motherhood has set in and I feel really trapped. The first 6 months were exhausting but exhilarating and every day was an adventure. After that, I started developing PND - it completely took me by surprise because I am already on antidepressants and have plenty of help around me.

There have been days when I felt bored to tears. Everyday was groundhog day and I wanted something exciting and dangerous in my life - I once shoplifted baby trousers from Sainsbury's because there was no price tag on them and therefore no barcode to sound off the alarm. I also once took a soft baby book from TK Maxx which also didn't have a tag on it and I put it under the baby's buggy. I got away with it both times but I felt really icky. I started to develop a shoplifter's aura and noticed that staff were looking at me suspiciously at another store even though I wasn't planning on shoplifting. So I decided that enough was enough and I stopped.

Fast forward a couple of months and I look on all the websites like eBay, Gumtree, facebook marketplace and Vinted for a Sylvanian Families dollhouse set for my niece for Christmas. At first, I was obsessed with paying as little as possible for as many items as possible - I found a huge bundle for £35 and was ecstatic. Went to collect it, came back to open it and was very sad and disappointed that the adventure was over. So I decided to buy a little starter home set for myself.... long story short, I find myself scouring the internet whenever the baby is asleep because that little starter set is not enough.

I remember wanting a SF set as a child but they were too expensive and my family could not afford them. Also, this feels risky because I compete with others on eBay to bid for a set and then lose and look around again. It's something that people would disapprove of because I'm a 30-something mum who should be spending all her time thinking about her baby. But best of all, this habit doesn't hurt anyone but me - which means it's not morally wrong.

But that's the problem - it hurts me. It distracts me from my feelings of loneliness, discomfort and sadness.

I have been referred to 6 sessions of therapy by my health visitor and I also have an appointment with my GP for a medication review because I just scored 13 on the Edinburgh Postpartum Depression Scale, which is high.

I guess I want to hear from anyone who can relate with stories of their own or other, better, ways of dealing with PND. Does PND go on for months on end? Or does it go away at some point?

Are you going back to work soon? You're probably a little bit bored and looking for a distraction of the monotony. Being a SAHP is not for everyone and I was looking forward to going back to work in many ways. (Went back at 11 months for a year) I ended up being a SAHP for 5 months, and things got a lot better 2 months in when I managed to get a couple of days of childcare a week in. You say you have a lot of support, is it on your terms? I found I desperately needed a full day or so to myself, a few hours of chores but then a few hours of doing something for me. 2 days a week of nursery was a nice balance, between sick days and nursery closures it wasn't as often as it seemed!

I have been through therapy and it is very helpful as long as you engage properly. It's probably only once a week but you end up mulling things over during the week which is quite helpful.

I guess my advice is, engage in therapy 100% and ensure you're getting at least 1 good, solid break 1 day a week, even if half of it is just catching up on chores, because it's bloody refreshing to do the dishwasher without a baby trying to grab the sharp end of knives 😂

It’s not hurting anyone OP. Don’t feel ashamed of collecting Sylvanians. You have replaced your unhealthy coping mechanism with something constructive- collecting can be a hobby and when DD grows up she can have them, can’t she? Don’t feel embarrassed about this. It sounds like you’re very self aware and taking the right steps and that’s all you can do, really. Make sure you keep talking to people and reaching out. A big hug to you.

How does it hurt you? They are cute toys and very collectible. No one bats an eyelid at adults who collect and build elaborate Lego.

Are you managing to get out much? I found baby & toddler groups a lifesaver when mine were little.