Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Grandparents

36 replies

DecMadness · 15/12/2023 20:34

I have 4 kids age 3-10.

my parents want to take my eldest and my sisters eldest on a holiday at the summer.

we have never been away on a family holiday but are saving for this.

my sister has said yes to them taking her eldest but i have said no to taking mine.

AIBU to not allow him to go?

OP posts:
SecondUsername4me · 15/12/2023 20:35

Why did you say no?

Alarum · 15/12/2023 20:36

It depends on the reason you’re saying no.

Personally I’d have accepted the offer.

TomatoSandwiches · 15/12/2023 20:38

Why not?

sunshineandshowers40 · 15/12/2023 20:39

Why have you said no? How old is your eldest compared to their next sibling?

Kitkat1523 · 15/12/2023 20:39

I take my3 GD on holiday every year 🤷‍♀️…. What’s your issue?

Original poster
DecMadness · 15/12/2023 20:41

A

OP posts:
YetMoreNewBeginnings · 15/12/2023 20:42

If it’s because you want to take him on his first holiday then I think you should reconsider.

Going away with grandparents and his cousin could be an amazing trip - not having to work around younger (or older) siblings is something my kids have always got a lot from.

If it’s because you have concerns about your parents ability to look after them, or because it’s an extension of obvious favouritism (ie they’ll never want to do anything with the other children) then it’s more understandable

Why have you said no @DecMadness ?

Riverlee · 15/12/2023 20:42

Why have you said no? Is it because you don’t trust your parents to look after your child, or because you want your child’s first holiday to be a family holiday with yourself?

Crazycrazylady · 15/12/2023 20:45

Why have you said no. I think if t could be a lovely trip for them with their Nan and cousins .
It it because she is not taking all of your kids?

MonsteraMama · 15/12/2023 20:46

Why have you said no? Some of my fondest childhood memories are holidays with my grandparents and cousins. Seems a bit harsh not to let your eldest go unless you have a good reason.

jolene20 · 15/12/2023 20:48

It depends on your reasoning which you haven't stated? If you don't trust them to look after your child then fair enough. Otherwise I would have said yes considering their age. I have really fond memories of the few times I went away with my grandparents and I wouldn't begrudge my son making the same memories with his grandparents when he is older.

geckofrog · 15/12/2023 20:49

Is it coz you haven't taken them yourself? If so then that's really selfish.

Cas112 · 15/12/2023 20:50

So you want your child to miss out because you haven't been able to take them yet?

Bit spiteful

AnneLovesGilbert · 15/12/2023 20:53

Are the grandparents paying for all of it? If not I can see that you don’t want to pay towards one of your children going on holiday if it takes you further away from affording to go away with all of your children.

People are making some very harsh criticisms based on no info.

Original poster
DecMadness · 15/12/2023 21:11

Sorry for delay in responding my phone died

my main reasons for not wanting him to go are

my parents are mid 70s and neither havethe best of health so just doesnt sit well with me

my son and cousin dont tend to get alomg at the best of time

i will have to pay for this (in excess of £1500!) which would be from my family holiday fund which then sets me back on this. Whist sisters child is getting taken fully funded

I would never grudge my child an amazing experience and feel awful that i have said no. But financially mainly it is not possible for me to have him go.

OP posts:
Lunde · 15/12/2023 21:13

I think it's pretty cheeky for them to offer and then charge you £1,500

AuntMarch · 15/12/2023 21:14

Given your update, absolutely not unreasonable. Money from the family holiday fund shouldn't go on one person!
Why are grandparents paying for one and not the other, and where the hell are they going that it costs that must to send him anyway?!

tealandteal · 15/12/2023 21:15

In that case say simply “No sorry I can’t afford that”

Luxell934 · 15/12/2023 21:15

Why would Sisters child be fully funded but yours isn’t? Must be some holiday for that amount! Hmmmm

Well your not being unreasonable then so just say no thanks but thanks for the offer, then let it go.

Speakingofdinosaurs · 15/12/2023 21:15

Why is your sister’s child getting funded but not yours.
Also if they dont get on then that makes a difference too.

MissBuffyAnneSummers · 15/12/2023 21:15

I'd have said yes. I did say yes when my parents took my eldest on holiday

Eekmystro · 15/12/2023 21:18

YANBU I also would not want to spend £1,500 for one person to go on holiday when the other family members in the family couldn’t go. I’d keep that in your savings for your whole family holiday.

How come they’re paying for your sisters child and not yours?

Is the intention to the take turns with the other grandchildren too? Otherwise isn’t that a bit unfair?

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 15/12/2023 21:21

i will have to pay for this (in excess of £1500!) which would be from my family holiday fund which then sets me back on this. Whist sisters child is getting taken fully funded

You’d have got very different answers if you mentioned that in your OP.

YANBU to pay £1500 for your child to go on holiday with annyone else.

Laiste · 15/12/2023 21:23

After your update:

NO! You're not being unreasonable to say no.

The money, firstly, the fact the two kids don't get on secondly, and the age related health worries of the GPS third!

SecondUsername4me · 15/12/2023 21:24

Why are they asking 2x grandchildren to come along but only offering to pay for one?

Obviously 1500 is ridiculous for a single child's place on holiday.

Swipe left for the next trending thread