Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Quitting Social Media

41 replies

PinkFlamingoToes · 15/12/2023 16:56

I have suspended all my social media accounts - didn’t have loads in the first place just Facebook and IG. I don’t share anything about my children anyway, and after a very shitty year I have no intention of torturing myself with other people’s pregnancy announcements/amazing christmasses etc… I just want to get my head down and have a lovely christmas with my little family and not think about anyone else. Not wallowing but just cutting out unnecessary crap.

my mother seems to think I’m being antisocial and mean by not being interested in the lives out our extensive distant family. I feel so much better for it! I’d rather someone just called me to tell me about their lives. I think I’m going to make the hiatus permanent.

Batshit right?

she’s generally a lovely lady but Nosey would be the understatement of the century.

And… why can’t she appreciate that it’s what’s best for me right now? am I being over dramatic? I know I could just not look at it but if it’s there on my phone I will because I’m weak af.

OP posts:
RandomButtons · 15/12/2023 16:58

It’s your life, no one can dictate how you live it.

If wider family want to share life stories they can pick up the phone.

bor · 15/12/2023 16:58

YANBU in fact I’ve just made a similar thread. I think Christmas can be stressful and frenetic enough, and add in a splash of social media comparison and you’re feeling inadequate or just a bit stressed and unable to pinpoint why that is. Take the break you need. I might do the same.

escapethemaze · 15/12/2023 16:59

I have no intention of torturing myself with other people’s pregnancy announcements/amazing christmasses etc do you “torture” yourself about this?

I rarely go on FB (not in anything else) but when i do… i love having a nose at all the pics and updates from people i haven’t seen for years!

escapethemaze · 15/12/2023 17:00

*she’s generally a lovely lady*and yet says her daughter is being antisocial by not keeping up with far flung relatives via FB updates? 😐

pilates · 15/12/2023 17:03

I don’t blame you op. Ignore your mum (in a nice way). I hope you don’t go back.

Original poster
PinkFlamingoToes · 15/12/2023 17:05

escapethemaze · 15/12/2023 17:00

*she’s generally a lovely lady*and yet says her daughter is being antisocial by not keeping up with far flung relatives via FB updates? 😐

Well yeah

lovely in that she would do anything for you and takes the sick neighbours homemade meals. knits for a mother and baby charity

but also loves a bit of FB and for some reason knowing everything about everyone is very important?

OP posts:
SutWytTi · 15/12/2023 17:05

Just say on repeat 'it really suits me better' and ignore.

Don't give it any more brainspace.

Chilicabbage · 15/12/2023 17:05

Whatever suits you. Having them or not, neither is wrong.
I just follow nice things (art, museums, gardening, comedy) on mine and few family members and friends. No one on mine is flashy as fuck. If they annoy me, I mute them

Littlecatsocks · 15/12/2023 17:08

I did the same and my mum said very similar. she's obsessed with FB and all the groups. Especially who comments or "likes" what. Almost an obsession!

My mum and her friends have fallen out with people over who "liked" what. My Auntie fell out with her Daughter in Law because she didn't "love" a photo.

Honestly, it's all gone a bit crackers.

Enjoy the peace OP

Anyfeckinusername · 15/12/2023 17:09

I felt absolutely great when I backed off SM.

I joined a cycling club a few years ago and a lot of the comms were shared via FB. For ages I just used it for that but it stuck back in. I will consciously cut it out again.

Don't mind your mum, people just don't get it which is just madness!

escapethemaze · 15/12/2023 17:15

PinkFlamingoToes · 15/12/2023 17:05

Well yeah

lovely in that she would do anything for you and takes the sick neighbours homemade meals. knits for a mother and baby charity

but also loves a bit of FB and for some reason knowing everything about everyone is very important?

Show quote history

which is fine. For her to do so

but to criticise her daughter for being “antisocial” for not doing as she does…. is unfair

escapethemaze · 15/12/2023 17:16

lovely in that she would do anything for you and takes the sick neighbours homemade meals. knits for a mother and baby charity

and i would hedge a bet that she then posts about her doing the above on social media

Littletinytarzanswingingfromanosehair · 15/12/2023 17:20

I've quit it too OP and my mental health has improved.

I no longer compare my life to others and I feel much more private and compact if that makes sense.

It's not antisocial, it's closing an artificial world off which is all smoke and mirrors..

Original poster
PinkFlamingoToes · 15/12/2023 19:35

escapethemaze · 15/12/2023 16:59

I have no intention of torturing myself with other people’s pregnancy announcements/amazing christmasses etc do you “torture” yourself about this?

I rarely go on FB (not in anything else) but when i do… i love having a nose at all the pics and updates from people i haven’t seen for years!

Well if SM was purely a fun little nosey for me then this thread wouldn’t exist 😂

OP posts:
WhatNoUsername · 15/12/2023 23:10

You do know MN is SM?

CranfordScones · 15/12/2023 23:24

Do it. Other things in your life will start to take on more importance or feel more meaningful. Those are the things you should concentrate on.

Life is too short for the mentally draining cesspit of social media.

SutWytTi · 16/12/2023 03:41

WhatNoUsername · 15/12/2023 23:10

You do know MN is SM?

It's not the same concept, being primarily a chat forum. SM involves networking/following people/updates.

Gallowayan · 16/12/2023 03:52

Totally get this. I do the same with the news because it just makes me depressed about things I can't change.

There is an app you can get which surpresses the icons for all the main SM apps. Its supposed to help you cut down screen time or doom scrolling and the associated anxiety and wasted time. Forgot what it's called. Can anyone advise?

Flyingalone · 16/12/2023 03:59

I think it depends on who you follow. There are so many different accounts now, not everyone is showing off.

My favourite page is of a young immigrant single father living in NYC trying to make a living by baking cakes. I find it inspiring and intriguing, him living in the city trying to pay rent and nursery fees for his daughter, whilst barely speaking English.

Who don't you follow less 'miss show off' accounts? Those make me cringe.

lljkk · 16/12/2023 04:28

SutWytTi · 16/12/2023 03:41

It's not the same concept, being primarily a chat forum. SM involves networking/following people/updates.

Show quote history

.
OP, from what you say all that happened is you stopped logging on. You didn't delete your accounts or unfollow or unfriend anyone. Basically, no one can tell you had a FckBk-IG break except you... unless you told your mom? Does your mom actually track what you're looking at on FcBk or IG; is she complaining that you didn't like her posts??

Quitting Social Media
SweetFemaleAttitude · 16/12/2023 04:44

I don't and haven't done SM for quite some time now. I even deleted tiktok which I actually quite miss and am thinking of reinstalling.

But Facebook and insta, don't give it a second thought and I am so glad because I never hear anyon saying 'ahh did you see xx on insta. Isn't it lovely!'. It's always 'the state of xxx on Facebook, spreading this that and the other'

I have to state, I'm missing the nosey/jealousy gene, so it has never ever bothered me not being on these. But I have been eyed with suspicion regarding not having a social media presence, which is baffling to me

WhatNoUsername · 16/12/2023 06:23

@SutWytTi It may not be exactly the same concept as the likes of FB and TwitX but it's still a type of SM.

Dasistrichtig · 16/12/2023 06:26

No I understand where you're coming from, I've recently deactivated mine after a break up, it's constant engagements/weddings/pregnancies (all the things he wasn't sure about with me) and honestly don't miss it that much, the only things I miss are the groups which had some funny discussions/memes on but that's pretty much it.

VisionsOfSplendour · 16/12/2023 06:39

WhatNoUsername · 16/12/2023 06:23

@SutWytTi It may not be exactly the same concept as the likes of FB and TwitX but it's still a type of SM.

Other than by definition does anyone actually think of chat forums as being the same as Facebook/tiktok etc?

When you hear some saying that social media content is harmful to mental health and well being you don't think of discussions about car insurance on MSE do you?

Original poster
PinkFlamingoToes · 16/12/2023 07:22

WhatNoUsername · 15/12/2023 23:10

You do know MN is SM?

I knew someone would say this 😂

yes but

it’s not Sally who you haven’t seen for 5 years posting daily updates about her new baby or Auntie Linda telling everyone about her new slow cooker.

And you have control over what you look at on MN - a picture of a baby scan doesn’t just pop up unexpectedly on your feed.

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread