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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be fed up of Charity collectors / Chuggers in shops ?

20 replies

RedheadRedBed · 15/12/2023 11:40

Today as I was coming out of a large Supermarket there were a group of Carol
Singers collecting for Charity . As I pushed my trolley past a gentleman who was part of the group holding a bucket he sarcastically said Well Merry Christmas. I said I'm sorry I've got no change and I had already given to three charities collecting this week (True) He said well you can pay by card , they had a portable card swipe set up with a donation on the screen for £5 £10 or £15 . I politely declined and carried on walking . Am I unreasonable to think that people should not be pressured in this way , especially as a lot of families and individuals are finding it tough with heating bills etc this year ?

OP posts:

Cymbal · 15/12/2023 11:46

YABU

itsmylife7 · 15/12/2023 11:46

yanbu at all.

The fact the charities dictate the acceptable amount is a piss take.

Remember when they were happy to accept any small amount.

ilovesooty · 15/12/2023 11:48

Individuals are struggling. Charities are struggling with donations too because people don't have the money to give. Just politely decline if you don't want to give or can't. Of course collectors shouldn't be pushy but they have to try to keep donations going. It must be harder for them nowadays as so many people don't have cash.

PricklePop · 15/12/2023 11:56

Op did politely decline and the guy was sarcastic and pushy

TheCatfordCat · 15/12/2023 12:03

Yanbu.

It's a personal choice to give. You certainly shouldn't be made to feel guilty. That man wasn't very nice to you.

Bramshott · 15/12/2023 12:10

Only you will know if he was sarcastic or whether that's just how you perceived it. On the face of it - he said Merry Christmas as you were going past, and then when you said you had no change he said that you could pay by card if you wanted - both of those sound reasonable to me, and charities are having to get a lot better at taking donations by card as people don't carry cash these days so street donations are down. I don't think charity carol singers count as chuggers do they (to my mind that's people pursuing you down the street trying to get you to sign up to a direct debit).

Original poster

RedheadRedBed · 15/12/2023 12:16

Bramshott · 15/12/2023 12:10

No he said Well Merry Christmas and yes he was sarcastic, I also saw the expression on his face.

OP posts:

Original poster

RedheadRedBed · 15/12/2023 12:19

Also in my post I put Charity collectors/ chuggers . I've had chuggers pester me in shops too . They don't have to be on the streets . Some people have not got the strength of character to say no . The pressure should not be there .

OP posts:

MumChp · 15/12/2023 12:20

Yanbu.
I never give in situations like this. My charity money for Xmas has been given from home/online donations.

CornflakesOnTheSolesOfHerShoes · 15/12/2023 12:22

I think carol singers are a bit different (though they shouldn’t be pushy) as it adds to the festive atmosphere and it’s a one off donation. But the station I travel to for work has taken to having representatives of different charities each week trying to sign people up for direct debits and it’s just slightly exhausting having to politely bypass them twice a day when either I need to get to work or run for a train…

Pusheen467 · 15/12/2023 12:23

YANBU. I've started just wearing headphones all the time, look straight ahead and no eye contact. I do the same with beggars in the street. I don't mean to be harsh but I just can't take it anymore. They seem to really make a beeline for me, probably because I'm small so I've had to harden up.

GabriellaMontez · 15/12/2023 12:24

Yanbu.

OhmygodDont · 15/12/2023 12:26

I hate it when they are in shops or just outside the shop doors but so you have no choice but to be in the direct firing line.

There was one in Aldi for a few days with the most twatty twat ever even my youngest said he was a rude man. I walked by and as he asked me to donate I said that I already donated to said charity and got a sarky “course you do” with eye roll and tut. Back again a few days later and he tutted at me as I walked by again. Knob.

Air helicopter outside homebargains annoying but at least they where polite and seemed like decent people.

But chuggers turn me right off most charities. Rnli and the helicopter rescue sure but all the rest like rspca and that can bugger off with their chugger muggers.

Nevermind31 · 15/12/2023 12:26

Just develop a thick skin and say no, thank you.
no explanation or justification, it’s none of their business.

a sarcastic… well, merry Christmas, gets a cheerful… thank you, and you too… back

or, if they still pester you… ask what charity, nod… and say that you will cancel your direct debit to this charity as you do not agree with the way the public is approached, and you will let the charity know.

Xomega · 15/12/2023 12:32

I just say no with a thick skin.

I have, on occasion when pushed, either adopted a mad QAnon position by claiming that I don't believe the cause they are collecting for exists. Or become pro whatever it is they are against. They usually can't handle that.

Bbq1 · 15/12/2023 12:40

It is off putting because they always want you to sign up for a monthly dd which I don't want tying into. A lot of people can't even afford that right now with col. Ironically the charities probably receive a lot less as people aren't willing to put money in a tin as I always do. Apart from that I do regularly give to the charities I specifically support but as and when.

Lavenderandbrown · 15/12/2023 12:45

I remind myself everyone is trying to separate me from my money but especially so at Christmas. I selected one card off the Salvation Army tree as I admire Dolly Parton (celebrity chair) and like the idea of 14 y.o getting the Xbox remote he specifically asked for. The rest I simply blow off. If they say merry Christmas or some such I respond back. I know I have donated and it’s enough for me. Others don’t choose my donation or recipients. They all want my money and I want my money too and no one is going to snark or shame me into donating. Op mentally and physically shrug them off.

Fionaville · 15/12/2023 12:51

YABU to be fed up of charities collecting. Many rely on donations and the season of goodwill to raise a bit extra. The fact that they've gone to the effort of Carol singing is nice and deserves a quid or two in the bucket. I also much prefer this, to the employed 'charity workers' who pressure you into signing up to monthly donations.
YANBU for being put out by the man for being pushy and a bit rude. There's no need for that at all and goes against the feelings of goodwill.

Original poster

RedheadRedBed · 15/12/2023 12:56

I do give to Cats Protection via the lottery . I believe charity lotteries that chuggers promote go in to the same pot ? So I'm doing my bit . I also donate monthly to water aid as water is life . I give to street collectors and put spare change into collection boxes on counters . But there is only so much to go round .

OP posts:

littlegrebe · 15/12/2023 13:09

When DH was going through cancer treatment and we didn't yet know what the outcome was going to be we tried our best to live a normal life in between. The nature of his treatment meant you couldn't tell he was having it unless you knew him well and could spot his energy levels were much lower than usual, so mostly the normal life thing was working fairly well for us and we weren't having to deal with the "but how ARE you" head tilt conversations every time we left the house. So at that point we could really have done without the cancer charity chuggers, particularly the ones who squeezed themselves into a corner of the local tiny Co-op by the tills so you couldn't avoid them, reminding us that cancer is shit and statistically things were looking very very bad.

I suppose it must generate a reasonable income or they wouldn't do it, but I would really prefer not to be made to feel like I'm going to burst into tears while I'm just trying to get a loaf of bread. I could have told them to piss off I suppose but without the context of DH's cancer I'd have looked a right arsehole and this is a very small town with a thriving gossip network.

(DH is fine now but I'm feeling tearful all over again about that particular memory from a particularly hard time, and I'm really not a weepy person.)

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