I experienced parental alienation with my adult dd. Things now with us couldn't be better but when she was a tween and teen she was manipulated by her dad, lived with him and things were very strained for years. Now an adult and now he can't control her anymore, he has treated her poorly and she has nothing to do with him now and hasn't for a few years.
We were both victims of this man. Dd has apologised for how she was with me and I have told her over and over again it's not her fault, she has nothing to apologise for. But for some reason this year I am so sad for my former self. I don't know why its hit me more this year.
The things going round in my head are
The year she asked me to help her wrap an expensive present for her dad but hadn't got me anything at all.
The years she wouldn't come for Christmas then the year she did and was going to stay until the 27th. I got all her favourite things in but soon after she got her presents on Christmas day she said she was going back to her dads and I had to look at all those treats in the fridge to remind me. I then found the Christmas card I got her on the floor which she had trodden on, on her way out. That year I considered suicide as I felt she was never going to come back to me
The year she bought her dad's girlfriend a beautiful gift set and addressed it to mum (ex dh encouraged her to call this woman mum). I got a cheap book still with the £1.99 sticker on.
The year ex dh called me on loudspeaker telling me I was surplus to requirements now. Dd had a new mum and they were a family. Dd was in the background giggling at this.
I don't even know what answers or replies I want to this. I know that dd has huge regret for this now. She was a child. None of this is her fault. But how do I forget? Its hit me more this year than the subsequent years when dd and I were rebuilding our relationship.