Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU about Christmas presents from work?

116 replies

Merryoldgoat · 14/12/2023 18:30

I work for a company that treats employees well imo - good pay, holiday, sickness, decent pensions. Paid for Christmas party, free lunches and we work 40 hour weeks but lunch is paid so it’s a standard 8-4 or 9-5

We don’t have a big budget for Christmas gifts - just a little token of £15 ish each.

We get a bottle of fizz and some Belgian chocolates.

The real gift is the party - three courses and booze for the whole lunch which is a nice evening, not compulsory, not ridiculously boozy and no daft enforced fun.

A lot of preamble for the main subject.

EVERY year someone complains how ‘boring’ wine and chocolates are, but has no better idea for 50 odd very mixed staff.

It’s Christmas - it’s easy to give them away if you don’t want them. It’s a token - not a symbol of value - that’s what we’re well paid for!

Full disclosure: I’m lumbered with buying. No one else wants to. I’m not buying personalised gifts for 50 people!

So

YABU - crap gift better to have nothing

YANBU - it’s not very exciting but as a small token it’s fine.

NB: non drinkers have an alcohol free option of course.

OP posts:
Alphabet1spaghetti2 · 14/12/2023 19:45

@Merryoldgoat Nope not a soul who would take them. Sorry to be misery!
My Dh doesn’t drink or eat chocolate either. I just handed them back to my boss to deal with.

Lamelie · 14/12/2023 19:49

Ffsmakeitstop · 14/12/2023 19:12

Oh here we go. Some one may have a problem with alcohol so no one can have any. Have a word with yourself. People need to take responsibility for themselves not rely on an employer to ensure they don't drink.
As for the ungrateful ones tell them that next year they're in charge of gift buying or they can refuse to accept it.

Show quote history

Agreed. I’m an alcoholic in recovery, when I was drinking I’d have been very happy with a bottle, now I’m not it’s useful to give to dc going out (calm down, they’re in their 20s) take to book club etc.

Original poster
Merryoldgoat · 14/12/2023 19:49

Alphabet1spaghetti2 · 14/12/2023 19:45

@Merryoldgoat Nope not a soul who would take them. Sorry to be misery!
My Dh doesn’t drink or eat chocolate either. I just handed them back to my boss to deal with.

Oh. So you don’t actually bin them.

OP posts:
ithinkthatmaybeimdreaming · 14/12/2023 19:51

Whatever they are given some people will complain - the entitlement of some people is beyond belief!

I wouldn't be bothering about even listening to people who whinge - they either take it, or leave it! The majority of people don't even get a gift (which is fine by the way, you get paid to work, no gift is necessary).

PeloMom · 14/12/2023 19:51

I’d give them £15 gift card to Amazon or Starbucks or something and let them buy their own thing

Torganer · 14/12/2023 19:51

I cannot believe people would throw food and drink away instead of just giving it to someone?!!! If you don’t have any friends, family, neighbours, just give it to someone at work?

You won’t be able to please everyone, people may object to Amazon!!

I think wine and chocolate is fine. I don’t like chocolate but can easily give away. Personally I don’t expect people to have to cater for my individual needs for something like a one off bonus.

Pottedpalm · 14/12/2023 19:56

Alphabet1spaghetti2 · 14/12/2023 19:36

I would prefer ms voucher if I had to choose. But I don’t drink wine and chocolate is no longer something I eat at all. So in the bin it goes which is a waste.

You don’t have a single friend who eats chocolate or drinks wine? A neighbour? Postman? How weird.

Pottedpalm · 14/12/2023 19:59

I have worked in many places and have never known people turn their noses up at chocolates or wine. If they didn't drink they took it home for family or friends and there seem to be more chocolate haters on this thread than I have ever come across in real life.

TheGoogleMum · 14/12/2023 20:00

I'd be happy with wine and chocolate even though I don't really drink nowadays (breastfeeding but even before pregnancy I'd basically gone off it). You can't please everyone. Some won't like vouchers either (I also would like amazon vouchers!). I wouldn't want JL because there isn't one that close and as others said it wouldn't go far.

If anyone else on the thread receives chocolate they don't want this year please feel free to post it to me!

ithinkthatmaybeimdreaming · 14/12/2023 20:00

user284246975787632445 · 14/12/2023 18:50

Options they can access without having to highlight they're "different" in some way?

Employers shouldn't give alcohol as a gift.

Also, it's a bit shit to be telling people "if you don't like it, give it away". That's not exactly the spirit of a gift, is it?

Just give them vouchers.

Show quote history

Oh for crying out loud. Hmm Must employers go through every likely scenario when contemplating gift giving? I can't drink wine, if I was given any from work I gave it to a friend. I didn't moan about not being "exactly the spirit of a gift", but then I don't expect gifts from my workplace either. When did people get so entitled that getting something they don't actually want becomes such a big issue?

Honestly OP, I wouldn't have even bothered asking on MN because this is the sort of rubbish which always gets spouted.

Jeannie88 · 14/12/2023 20:03

Being in education all of those perks sound amazing! I would so happy to be gifted wine and chocs, instead we have a secret santa for £5 limit and pay for our own get together. I do believe some people are so spoilt and just don't have a bloody clue and should just stop moaning.

JimJonesLivesInMyHead · 14/12/2023 20:07

Give them the choice.

Appreciative employees can have booze and chocs as usual

Tell the others you've donated their 15 quid to charity to people who don't get the luxury to moan about presents as they're too busy trying to survive.

Miserable shits.

ManateeFair · 14/12/2023 20:08

I'd bloody love it if I got wine and chocolates from my employer! AND a party as well. Your colleagues are whinging ungrateful gits. What do people expect? A bespoke item tailored to each individual employee's precise likes and dislikes?!

Many years ago when I was in my early 20s, extremely skint, and working in the private sector for a small company, a photographer my boss and I both worked with once sent us two bottles of champagne at Christmas. They were both different brands, and one was pink champagne and the other wasn't, so almost certainly regifted. The pink one was in a much smarter box and was a famous brand and my boss snaffled that one immediately, so I got the other one by default. I took it to my mum and dad's on Christmas Day and said 'I got given this at work, thought we could open it this morning' and my dad, who really knows his wine, said 'Er... you know this is worth about £300?'

Since then I don't think I've had a single work-related gift, but I still think of that champagne every Christmas...

JellyIegs · 14/12/2023 20:10

Whoever moaned last year gets their £15 donated to a charity of your choice this year!

I don’t get anything from work (public sector). We used to get a food & drink hamper from DH’s work but in the covid years they swapped to Amazon gift cards delivered to work email addresses and haven’t changed back. It must be much easier for them. Value is more than £15 though and I think wine and chocolate is a sensible use of that budget!

Tawlk · 14/12/2023 20:12

I love a bottle of fizz and choccies ☺️!

Alphabet1spaghetti2 · 14/12/2023 20:16

@Merryoldgoat yes i do. This year I managed to give it back to my boss as she stayed long enough for me to open them and realise what they were. But yes, I do bin them normally. She was surprised - but understood when I explained I couldn’t use them and would just bin them otherwise.
Any gifts I can’t charity shop or hand back to the originator to reuse I just bin. Would you prefer it if I gave wine to my alcoholic neighbour?
Hence preferring a voucher.

I do say to anyone who is remotely bothered to ask, that we don’t do Christmas in any way shape or form, so would much prefer they didn’t include us in their card or gift etc exchanges. If they decide to ignore that’s then it is their problem.

Booboocars · 14/12/2023 20:24

Alphabet1spaghetti2 · 14/12/2023 20:16

@Merryoldgoat yes i do. This year I managed to give it back to my boss as she stayed long enough for me to open them and realise what they were. But yes, I do bin them normally. She was surprised - but understood when I explained I couldn’t use them and would just bin them otherwise.
Any gifts I can’t charity shop or hand back to the originator to reuse I just bin. Would you prefer it if I gave wine to my alcoholic neighbour?
Hence preferring a voucher.

I do say to anyone who is remotely bothered to ask, that we don’t do Christmas in any way shape or form, so would much prefer they didn’t include us in their card or gift etc exchanges. If they decide to ignore that’s then it is their problem.

Edited

That is so wasteful. Any charity or food bank would accept chocolates. I volunteer at one and they definitely do not bin them as a pp said.

Same for alcohol - most schools etc are always looking for raffle gifts.

so ungrateful.

BusySittingDown · 14/12/2023 20:27

I would be pleased with it but I would rather have a voucher.

I once got an Amazon voucher from an employer. Was great as I could choose whatever I wanted. I bought few books.

What about M&S or vouchers for supermarket? They can choose their own fizz and chocolates, if they wish, or they could buy clothes or books or put it towards their Christmas shop?

geckofrog · 14/12/2023 20:29

Merryoldgoat · 14/12/2023 19:00

Well I’m fat and have an eating disorder. Chocolate not a great gift for me.

There is no perfect gift and alcoholics are either drinking or not. If they are, a Majestic bottle of cremant isn’t going to send them spiralling and if they aren’t they can choose non alcoholic option.

You cannot please everyone.

By your rationale we shouldn’t provide any alcohol at our meal out either.

Show quote history

That's why vouchers are the best idea

Alphabet1spaghetti2 · 14/12/2023 20:29

@Booboocars they weren’t sealed boxes of chocolates. Our local food bank absolutely refuses any and all unsealed products due to possible contamination and tampering. So in it wasteful.
I have absolutely no connections with any local school who do raffles and non of them ask for such things on neighbourhood Facebook sites. i don’t thin wandering into a random school and offering the office a half bottle of wine would be gratefully received.
it’s not being ungrateful - it’s better to have managed to return it than bin it as I normally end up doing.

AnUnsuitableMatch · 14/12/2023 20:34

Years ago I worked in a company where depending on your status, a certain amount of £ was taken from your November salary to buy gifts for support staff.

I was the most junior professional rank and it was about £25. More than I would spend on a family member! To buy boxes of rubbish chocolate for generally well paid staff.

If you wanted to opt out, you had to send an email to the CEO explaining why. Confused

HunterHearstHelmsley · 14/12/2023 20:36

You're right that you can't please everyone. My workplace did Amazon vouchers this year and loads of people complained that they boycott Amazon. There's so such thing as a generic gift, unfortunately. I like Love to Shop vouchers, someone upthread hates them.

Walker1178 · 14/12/2023 20:37

My DP works for a very large company and gets a £15 love to shop voucher, I’m lucky to work for an amazing small company circa 20 employees and we all get a card from the boss with a £50 Amazon voucher each year. TBH with the small voucher we buy a treat, with the larger it’s usually something we need!

Gloriousgardener11 · 14/12/2023 20:38

I was given four cupcakes from my boss today - now that IS a crappy present!

ivegotthisyeah · 14/12/2023 20:43

I think any gift is a bonus!
What about a Christmas scratch card or lotto ticket ? Probs get someone moaning about encouraging gambling so you're never gonna win!
I personally would be happy with a bottle of fizz and chocs or and M&S voucher