To ask for help with the overwhelm

[chaosoverwhelm]

As my NC suggests, I am completely overwhelmed and feel like I am living in constant chaos.

I have 3 children aged 5,3 and 6 months and on mat leave. My house is a complete state and I just can't keep on top of anything- admin, housework etc. I feel so overwhelmed that I might burst into tears at any moment and everything just feels chaotic and stressful. My DH works a very busy job and dedicates a lot of time to it. He does what he can but it's not enough. But the responsibility doesn't lay solely on him. I just can't manage. I can't focus, I can't organise, I can't think straight. It's really having a negative impact on everyone in the house and we need to make changes.

Has anyone been in this situation before? How did you drag yourself out of it?

Thank you

You need to give yourself a break you are wrangling with 3 small children . It’s Christmas time so the mental load will off the hook and you will probably be really tired.
try and reframe it, if you were on your death bed I can’t imagine you would be thinking ‘god, I wish I had polished the table more often and had a bigger to-do-list’.
Enjoy your little people and the chaos it will change quick enough and then you will be harping back to this period of your life.

Hi, totally frazzled here too and I've only got 2 kids (3 and 12mo). I'm supposed to have gone back to work recently, but 12mo is having a nightmare starting nursery with illness after illness and generally being a stage 5 clinger. We're also in the middle of selljng/buying a new house.
When my dd2 was born I got a mother's help in 2 days a week for the first 6 months to be a second pair of hands in the house. She was amazing and helped with chores, took the toddler out, prepared supper, and sometimes made us all lunch.
Outside help and nursery for the toddler is the way forward. Is expensive but I'm not sure how I would cope without it. I've now found a great student who lives nearby to help in the school holidays and she comes during the afternoons my toddler is home from pre school. Both kids love her and it allows me to get on and do cleaning/admin woooooo
The only thing keeping me going is that I know it gets a bit easier as both children get older.
Hang in there xx

You've got 3 small children and one of them is very small!

You're basically still in the 4th trimester. Your body and hormones haven't recovered yet so give yourself a break.

As long as the kids are safe and fed you are doing your job, anything else is a bonus!

I only have two but I do remember drowning in plastic tat, all the worries about weaning plus feeling like my brain was dissolving.

It does get better!

I’d cut yourself some slack, you’ve got a lot on your plate at a hectic time of year!

I’d make a list of all you THINK you need to do - this helps me manage my anxiety to download it from my brain to paper, but also split out what has to be done and what you’re putting pressure on yourself to do that can be dropped. Then put the tasks into buckets ie ‘Must do’ is things like Xmas shopping, order a food shop etc, ‘Could do’ is things you’d do in an ideal world but can wait ie dusting, writing Xmas cards, arranging play dates etc and ‘Don’t do’ is things like declutterring, cleaning the oven etc.

Thanks for the replies. I know I need to be kinder to myself and I have days when I'm okay with it all but then I have days where I just cannot cope or manage. I feel like my head is all over the place since having baby #3. @CaineRaine that's a good tip- thank you!