Just that?!
I am so fed up with myself and genuinely asking how to stop this. Is this a form of mental health issue or an anxiety issue to cope with the stress of work?!
We have been working together for some time and this fascination with him drives me insane. He’s not even great objectively.
There are periods when we don’t speak for weeks or not in the office simultaneously, and I feel relieved. As soon as we are together, he will come over for a chat - like you do with any colleague, I guess. But we will then run into each other, like you do with any other colleague, and will talk repeatedly.
No, we don’t text outside work, and no, we don’t do drinks or anything like that. We speak of our families. Honestly, I don’t understand what I like about him, and even if we were both single, I wouldn’t date him.
I avoid him as much as possible, preventing us from working together. For the life of me, I don’t get why I am doing this - and why can’t I not ignore him? I have read a lot about limerence, and I don’t think it is that.
My only rationale for this is that I am working full time with two kids, and my husband and I hardly have any time for each other. And he is there at work listening to me, looking at me intently and praising me.
Can anyone suggest anything that worked for them? Please, no suggestions about thinking of your & his families - I do. As I said, even in the universe where we are both single, I wouldn’t go there. He can be very grating.
And I don’t know what I am fantasising about - my fantasies are just the two of us chatting and him looking at me attentively. This is completely nuts. Theraphy perhaps?!