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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Foster child review without parents

22 replies

ChShelp · 13/12/2023 19:16

Could someone with experience tell me any good reason for a LAC review to happen without the parents being invited?

The parents are very involved with the DC and there are plans for reunification.

OP posts:
NotTooOldPaul · 13/12/2023 19:18

I used to be a foster parent and that seems to be very strange.

Shayisgreat · 13/12/2023 19:20

The child requested for them not to be there? If that's not the case then it's very bad form. Incompetent social worker? Poor admin staff?

ghostyslovesheets · 13/12/2023 19:21

I'd ask the IRO directly in the meeting

Hibambinos · 13/12/2023 19:22

Talk to IRO

Pumpkinpie1 · 13/12/2023 19:22

That sounds odd

Calypsocuckoo · 13/12/2023 19:25

Parents don’t want to go and they prefer to be consulted separately by the Independent reviewing officer (IRO) or children don’t want them there and it is their review and they can choose who can come. Can’t think of any other good reasons, other reasons could be that they are working and can’t attend, or the social worker or IRO missed them off the invite list, or someone wanted the review to happen with children and parents separately to hear each of their views without the other.
I have done quite a few reviews where the parents don’t come but that was their choice.

Original poster
ChShelp · 13/12/2023 19:35

NotTooOldPaul · 13/12/2023 19:18

I used to be a foster parent and that seems to be very strange.

It does, doesn't it?

OP posts:
Original poster
ChShelp · 13/12/2023 19:36

Shayisgreat · 13/12/2023 19:20

The child requested for them not to be there? If that's not the case then it's very bad form. Incompetent social worker? Poor admin staff?

No, that's not the case. I don't think they even have admin staff anymore!

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Original poster
ChShelp · 13/12/2023 19:37

ghostyslovesheets · 13/12/2023 19:21

I'd ask the IRO directly in the meeting

I wasn't able to go to the meeting due to the lack of communication.

OP posts:
Original poster
ChShelp · 13/12/2023 19:38

Hibambinos · 13/12/2023 19:22

Talk to IRO

If only they answered their phone/replied to messages/emails

OP posts:
Kath85 · 13/12/2023 19:40

i have been involved in a few LAC meetings as an adopter where either us or others had simply not received the invites by mistake so could be a SW error

Original poster
ChShelp · 13/12/2023 19:43

Calypsocuckoo · 13/12/2023 19:25

Parents don’t want to go and they prefer to be consulted separately by the Independent reviewing officer (IRO) or children don’t want them there and it is their review and they can choose who can come. Can’t think of any other good reasons, other reasons could be that they are working and can’t attend, or the social worker or IRO missed them off the invite list, or someone wanted the review to happen with children and parents separately to hear each of their views without the other.
I have done quite a few reviews where the parents don’t come but that was their choice.

I'm guessing it must just be they were accidentally left off the invite list. But in this case would you not reschedule the meeting? Considering they only happen every 6 months the parents are very upset at not being invited. What can be done now? The parents want to request a new review takes place with them there.

OP posts:
TreacleMines · 13/12/2023 19:45

Might depend on how involved the parents are/whether the child wants them there-especially if older/they might have been invited and not turned up/they might have been so violent or abusive in previous meetings it was decided that it isn’t safe to have them present.

Original poster
ChShelp · 13/12/2023 19:45

Although a bit odd that both parents were accidentally left off.

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Original poster
ChShelp · 13/12/2023 19:46

TreacleMines · 13/12/2023 19:45

Might depend on how involved the parents are/whether the child wants them there-especially if older/they might have been invited and not turned up/they might have been so violent or abusive in previous meetings it was decided that it isn’t safe to have them present.

No, none of that is relevant.

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randomstress · 13/12/2023 19:48

I think an administrative mistake is the most likely explanation.
They should ask to have a separate meeting with the IRO.

TreacleMines · 13/12/2023 19:48

ChShelp · 13/12/2023 19:46

No, none of that is relevant.

Show quote history

You asked if there are any reasons- these are reasons. No one can tell you about your case without the details (which obviously you don’t want to share online).

ghostyslovesheets · 13/12/2023 19:50

If it's the child's usual IRO and the parents usually attend I'm surprised the IRO didn't ask why they were not there.

Beginningless · 13/12/2023 19:54

The parents should seek legal advice if they are meeting resistance to the meeting being rearranged; no wonder they are upset.

Original poster
ChShelp · 13/12/2023 20:02

TreacleMines · 13/12/2023 19:48

You asked if there are any reasons- these are reasons. No one can tell you about your case without the details (which obviously you don’t want to share online).

Show quote history

I know and I appreciate your reply. I was just responding to it. It gives context to me asking what can be done. And I'm getting the help I need, thank you.

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Original poster
ChShelp · 13/12/2023 20:02

ghostyslovesheets · 13/12/2023 19:50

If it's the child's usual IRO and the parents usually attend I'm surprised the IRO didn't ask why they were not there.

Well, this was what happened...

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Original poster
ChShelp · 13/12/2023 20:03

Beginningless · 13/12/2023 19:54

The parents should seek legal advice if they are meeting resistance to the meeting being rearranged; no wonder they are upset.

Ok, thank you.

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