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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Guy not answering questions?

21 replies

dredbock · 13/12/2023 17:18

Is this usual? Been seeing a guy for a few months. When we text he will sometimes answer my questions, like basic questions, like how are you etc?

But a lot of the time I'll ask him a question and he just won't acknowledge it. Just earlier he text me first, texting back and forward in conversation. Then he voicenoted me and I heard he was in his car. I asked where he was off to and he responded completely unrelated didn't answer the question. I then said haha you're a nightmare answering questions and he THEN again did not acknowledge I'd even said that and sent me a picture of something totally unrelated.

When I've brought this up when we're in person, he just said it's a man thing but I find it really odd and irritating. I've not even responded to his last message because I'm like ugh I can't be arsed, if he's not bothering reading my messages then why should I he?

AIBU and high maintenance?

OP posts:

Nagado · 13/12/2023 17:30

I think it depends what sort of questions you’re asking him. ‘How are you?’ is obviously quite standard but he might think that you asking him where he’s going is a little bit nosey and none of your business. Are you asking him general questions like what he’s planning on having for dinner? Or is is more along the lines of asking him if he’s having dinner alone?

Aquamarine1029 · 13/12/2023 17:50

He's training you. I could not be bothered with these bullshit games.

Muchof · 13/12/2023 18:04

Probably need a few more examples.

girlfriend44 · 13/12/2023 18:05

Could you not phone him?

BornIn78 · 13/12/2023 18:09

I couldn’t be bothered with this either. Honestly, all he had to say was “I’m driving home from work” or wherever he was going.

Agree with a PP he’s training you. Bin this one off.

HomburgandTrilby · 13/12/2023 18:13

Honestly, I can’t be doing with endless text conversations, and half the time I’m doing something where I can’t easily text back. And if someone inferred I was in the car from the background sounds in my voice note and wanted to know where I was going, I would think it was a bit weird and suspicious. If it’s important, phone me.

Dogknowsbest · 13/12/2023 18:13

Just get rid of him. It's not a man thing. He's being a dickhead.

Original poster

dredbock · 13/12/2023 18:16

So for instance I asked him what day he finishes up next week for Xmas. Didn't respond.

I asked him a couple weeks ago a question one night during a conversation and he just didn't reply at all to that! I then had to ask him again the next day and he answered.

Ask him a few questions at a time - he'll only answer one so I guess he has trained me to only ask one question at a time now.

OP posts:

GaryLurcher19 · 13/12/2023 18:19

He sounds insufferable.

divinededacende · 13/12/2023 18:20

I'm a man. This is not a man thing. It's a him thing.

He's either a dick or he has something going on that makes him really unfocussed. You describing the car conversation and him going off on tangents sounds more like ADHD or something like it but those examples alone aren't enough to go on.

Or he's just not that good at engaging in text based chat. Is he better in person?

mrsbyers · 13/12/2023 18:21

I think he might have more than one person messaging him and is losing track

iklboo · 13/12/2023 18:31

Ask him if he wants a blow job & he replies tell him 'That one fricking got through didn't it? How come the others don't?' 😂

CalistoNoSolo · 13/12/2023 18:40

No idea why people are excusing his behaviour. He's clearly a twat and this won't be the only example of his twattishness.

BornIn78 · 13/12/2023 18:43

mrsbyers · 13/12/2023 18:21

I think he might have more than one person messaging him and is losing track

I think you’re probably right, his texting is a copy and paste job sending the same thing to the several women he’s messaging.

lashy · 13/12/2023 18:57

iklboo · 13/12/2023 18:31

Ask him if he wants a blow job & he replies tell him 'That one fricking got through didn't it? How come the others don't?' 😂

🤣🤣

Original poster

dredbock · 13/12/2023 19:04

@iklboo wish I'd done this 🤣🤣

OP posts:

WhereYouLeftIt · 13/12/2023 19:07

"AIBU and high maintenance?"
YANBU and you are not high maintenance.

"I've not even responded to his last message because I'm like ugh I can't be arsed, if he's not bothering reading my messages then why should I he?"
It's for the best, he's not worth the effort. Bin, bin, bin.

Terrribletwos · 13/12/2023 19:12

As other posters have suggested, I think he may be occupied with other women messaging him. Or he's just not that interested in you, sorry.

Original poster

dredbock · 13/12/2023 19:32

Terrribletwos · 13/12/2023 19:12

As other posters have suggested, I think he may be occupied with other women messaging him. Or he's just not that interested in you, sorry.

He might not be interested all that much. But I really doubt he's speaking to other women. But I suppose lots of people think that.

OP posts:

BornIn78 · 13/12/2023 19:36

Sending a random picture of something totally unrelated to what you were talking/texting about is surely a classic sign of texting more than one person at the same time and getting them mixed up.

MatildaTheCat · 13/12/2023 19:56

I know someone who is incapable of processing more than one question at a time. I now know to just ask one thing before asking the next. It’s a bit tiresome but with her it’s a genuine dyslexia/processing issue.

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