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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Stray kittens

36 replies

BunnyLily · 13/12/2023 14:26

I’m an animal lover! I’ve just split from an abusive relationship and have 2 children. My x hated most animals except dogs and we have a dog at home and an another dog that the x has taken over willingly. Since he’s been gone I’ve bought 2 bunnies. They’ve been a massive hit and we play and clean them regularly. Anyway… my friend now has some kittens that she’s looking for homes for. My kids are begging with me to get a couple. I’ve seen them and they’re adorable. I’m so tempted, we have the space and they will be well looked after.. there is just one sticking point… the parents! My parents are in their 80’s - hate change - I’m 50 and an only child and they’ve helped me out a lot over the years but still treat me like I’m 7 occasionally!! They will see all the negatives in getting some more animals, time, space, hard work ect. Also the x’s parents have the kids when I’m at work occasionally. I know they’re going to hate having cats around! If it was my choice I’d just get on with having them but I don’t know if I can live with the moaning! I’d have a houseful of animals if I could but wouldn’t as know my limits. AIBU having the kittens?!

OP posts:
TomatoSandwiches · 13/12/2023 14:32

In your shoes I wouldn't get anymore animals, what you have is already a lot.

Picklemeyellow · 13/12/2023 14:37

I am an animal lover too and would have a small zoo if dh allowed but I have to be realistic. I’d be tempted too as I adore cats but pets are really, really expensive when they become poorly, we spent £6000 on our dog and that was with insurance and our current rescue dog has cost us quite a bit and we’ve only had him a year. Can you afford the vet fees on so many animals if they become unwell?

Notthatcatagain · 13/12/2023 14:38

Vet bills recently are heart stoppingly expensive, if you are sure that you can afford vaccinations and neutering and have a fund for emergency bills then please yourself. My last booster bill was £150 each

MatildaTheCat · 13/12/2023 14:38

If you don’t know your limits then stop thinking with your heart. Look at the costs of feeding, vet bills and insurance. Not just year one insurance- take a look at insuring older pets, it can be astronomical.

And if you rely on goodwill childcare that’s important. Not everyone enjoys a menagerie. What about when you go away? I love animals but this sounds like a decision made from emotion rather than practical reasoning.

MatildaTheCat · 13/12/2023 14:39

And they aren’t stray. Just kittens needing a home.

Santaiswashinghissleigh · 13/12/2023 14:40

You aren't with a cunt anymore.. Get your dkittens op.

Nicesalad · 13/12/2023 14:44

They're not stray.

But perhaps ask your parents first, unless the cats can be in a different part of the house when they come round.
Also, cats are expensive. Have you looked into worming and fleaing tablets (from the vet's), cost of vaccines and neutering?

TalkedTooMuchStayedTooLong · 13/12/2023 14:46

I have to agree with being sure you can cover the costs...especially vet bills should you have an illness/ emergency... insurance is a must...my cats recent illnesses ran up a bill of over £9000 ( luckily they were well insured!)...

AwkwardPaws27 · 13/12/2023 14:48

Can you afford them (now and ongoing costs)?
Have the rabbits been neutered and vaccinated yet? That's a few hundred quid, then same again for the kittens.
Food, litter, monthly flea & worm treatment etc.
Then insurance - my 12 year old cat's insurance is £95 a month now & I have to pay part of any bills too.

Chilicabbage · 13/12/2023 14:51

This is just your excitement of new things and "I can". Like when you first move out and realise you can just walk around in undies so do it for a bit, then excitement bubbles out and suddenly you are in comfy joggers, fluffy slippers and jumpee....

I agree with pps that you need to stop thinking with heart and think with head.
You are enjoying it now, managing now, just stick with that for few years and then think again.

As others I would also havea zoo😂 I grew up with that. But realistically, no.

Chilicabbage · 13/12/2023 14:53

And tell your friend to be a responsible owner and neuter her car

Nicesalad · 13/12/2023 14:55

Chilicabbage · 13/12/2023 14:53

And tell your friend to be a responsible owner and neuter her car

I don't think there's anything wrong with letting your cat have kittens if you can look after them .

Chilicabbage · 13/12/2023 14:57

Nicesalad · 13/12/2023 14:55

I don't think there's anything wrong with letting your cat have kittens if you can look after them .

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Plenty kittens in shelters already. There is no need to make more that need new homes

Laiste · 13/12/2023 15:00

Do you live at your parents OP?

I'm just wondering why you're so concerned about what they think when you're 50!

Wrt the kittens - you have a dog and 2 rabbits already. I think maybe give yourself a bit of time before getting 2 cats as well. I think you're in the slightly hysterical phase after a split where you are suddenly free to do anything you like! (been there)

Laiste · 13/12/2023 15:01

Nicesalad · 13/12/2023 14:55

I don't think there's anything wrong with letting your cat have kittens if you can look after them .

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Well the friend isn't looking after her cat's kittens is she!? She's giving them away.

Nicesalad · 13/12/2023 15:03

Chilicabbage · 13/12/2023 14:57

Plenty kittens in shelters already. There is no need to make more that need new homes

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Yes, but many shelters have so many strict rules about re-homing that it can actually be quite difficult to get a rescue kitten.

Original poster
BunnyLily · 13/12/2023 15:07

Thanks for your replies. The kittens were stray and she was looking to re home them.
I was going to keep them as house cats but thanks for the comments think I am thinking with my heart and not my head.
It is lovely to be able to make my own decisions…after being told no for so long. Maybe I’ll do what you’ve suggested and give it a few years. The kids are going to be so gutted x

OP posts:
Chilicabbage · 13/12/2023 15:08

Nicesalad · 13/12/2023 15:03

Yes, but many shelters have so many strict rules about re-homing that it can actually be quite difficult to get a rescue kitten.

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That still doesn't mean it's not irresponsible to not neuter your cats. It's not some public service to have kittens to sellConfused

It should be bit difficult tbh. Just look at stats of abandoned pets in Jan/feb. People impulse gain pet and than the shit hits the fan and they realise it's too much.

Excited101 · 13/12/2023 15:09

EVERYTHING is wrong with letting your cat have kittens ffs. There’s thousands of kittens living in cages in charities up and down the country. Kittens never being able to run, at risk of cat flu etc.

I really hope your friend gets the cat and babies neutered op. They will start to breed with each other from 16 weeks old which is gross and dangerous.

cats are expensive but if you want a pair then get them. At least you might have the brains to have them neutered.

Chilicabbage · 13/12/2023 15:09

@BunnyLily I take back the telling your friend post then. Sorry. But I still stand by neutering point in general.

Good to hear you thinking about giving it time. It's really the best way to prevent pet heartbreaks

ActDottie · 13/12/2023 15:10

You say you’ve just split from an abusive relationship and already got some bunnies. I’d worry you’re acting a bit impulsively when maybe there’s so healing you need to do yourself before taking on more dependants.

mbosnz · 13/12/2023 15:11

Cost at our vets for a kitten:
£110 kitten pack - both vacs, microchipping, first flea and worming
£49 per year booster thereafter.
Don't forget regular defleaing and worming - monthly then three monthly
Kitten care plan
£30 upfront, then £15 per month thereafter. This covers your vaccinations, microchipping, flea and worm treatments.
Can't remember spaying and neutering off the top of my head, but you're looking at the larger part of £100 and upwards.
If you've got a duffer? £49 per consultation, treatment or medication on top of that.
We regularly have people assume that there are terms available, or that there are lower prices if people are on a low income or benefits. There aren't.
Please, make sure you can afford that kitten. Your kids might adore it - but they're going to be heartbroken if you have to rehome it, because you cannot afford it.
And on that note - most of our charities that provide some financial assistance in times of trouble are now saying not to give their name or number out, and the only assistance they can provide is for spaying/neutering.
The waiting list for rehoming is weeks long.

Laiste · 13/12/2023 15:25

Yeah i'd second the thinking about the money side of it OP.

When animals are young they all look healthy and gorgeous. The idea of hidden health problems and medicines and surgeries and consultations (£40 just to be seen here!) seem a world away when you're looking at baby bunnies or a basket of cute kittens.

Rabbits in particular are difficult to treat. Quite a few vets are a bit wary of treating rabbits because they are lagomorphs which is an order of animals quite apart from rodents ect. Found this out when we rescued a young rabbit who unbeknown to us had a dental abscess which grew and we had little change out of 1k by the end of it all 😵(rabbit went on to live for another 11 years without problems mind you!)

Skyisbluegrassisgreen · 13/12/2023 15:27

Get the kittens you don’t answer to anyone anymore

ManateeFair · 13/12/2023 15:28

Nicesalad · 13/12/2023 14:55

I don't think there's anything wrong with letting your cat have kittens if you can look after them .

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But she isn't planning to look after them, is she? She's trying to give/sell them to people like the OP. People who could, in fact, have gone to rescue centre if they want a pair of kittens.