Nursery withdrawn transport, would you withdraw your application?

Elijuah32 · 2023-12-13T10:53:07+00:00

Before anybody jumps on me for being entitled, we're talking about special needs children and not a mainstream setting. Please be kind. My DS (2) is due to start at the same nursery my DS (6) went to. They specialise in SEN. They ran a mini bus service for the families who live further afield which was a godsend to us as I desperately wanted a special needs nursery but don't have one nearby. I can't drive due to seizures so couldn't have accepted the place had it not been for their bus service as there isn't a straight forward route on public transport. The nursery stayed in touch and when I mentioned DS2 being referred for an ASD assessment too they offered to reserve him a place at the nursery as soon as he's eligible for the 2 year funding (which is now) I've gone through all the registration process and it's only now they tell me that they no longer operate a pick up service and I would need to get him in myself. Absolutely fine if it was local but it's over 2 miles each way and I would've never considered it if it weren't for the mini bus service. On one hand I want what's best for DS but I already know its going to cause me so much stress, I'm not even sure I'll be able to get any adjustments at work to accommodate the nursery run 😐 WIBU to withdraw his application on this basis? Would you enroll in a nursery so far away? I wish they'd have told me this before signing him up. I feel a bit blindsided.

Boating123 · 13/12/2023 10:57

It depends. If it is really fantastic nursery/far better than the alternatives I would consider walking/cycling.

If the alternatives are okay/it would be impossible to make it work i would go with another nursery.

mindutopia · 13/12/2023 10:59

Well, for us, 2 miles would have been astonishingly close, but we both drive and where we live, nothing is close. It sounds like a great place. What options do you have for getting him there? Is it only walking? If you could make it work, I would do it. But if it's truly not possible to get him there, then you can only do what you can do.

Sproutier · 13/12/2023 11:04

Things change. At least you found out before he started there.

It's totally up to you. If you physically can't get him there then of course you have to withdraw him. The questions are, I suppose, (1) can LA help with transport with a child so young and (2) would the benefits of him going to a specialist setting be worth the inconvenience and expense for you of getting him there another way such as taxi?

Is there a way you can fund transport such a taxis through either your own benefits or the children's? DLA with high rate mobility would cover a lot of 2 mile taxis especially if it's school term times only.

Personally specialist nursery sounds like winning the lottery, it should set him up so much better both in development and in getting the right provisions lined up for school. But you know the setting, you need to decide if you think it's worth finding a way.

WinterNamechange · 13/12/2023 11:09

What's the walking route like - is it doable or no footpaths etc? If you can get there by walking/cycling and perhaps taxi a couple of times a week to have a break, then it's totally worth it if your work can be flexible enough to allow you to get him there. Can the child's father do their share of the nursery runs?

But ultimately if you can't get him there, you can't get him there, so if that's the case best to start looking for a more local nursery now.

Original poster

Elijuah32 · 13/12/2023 11:13

Thank you for the replies and considerations.

DS1 gets HRC DLA but no mobility component. I was put off for applying for the mobility side when he turned 5 as I know they look at the whole claim again and I didn't want to risk losing the award, which is until 2030.

I'm not sure what other provisions are like locally as I haven't looked into them. It was clear from early on that DS2 is on a similar trajectory to DS1 so it was decided that the special nursery would be our first choice and with their offer to reserve a place I didn't feel the need to look elsewhere.

To get there it would be a 10 minute bus journey and then 30 mins walk. It sounds doable written down but isn't going to work as I've also got to factor in my work, dropping and picking up DD (mainstream local school) and DS1 going to / coming home from school.

This nursery is quite regimented and want the children to be in at the same time every morning, 9am, preparing them for a school routine I guess, so there's no wiggle room on their end with that.

Sadly I just don't think it's going to work 😔

OP posts:

BungleandGeorge · 13/12/2023 11:15

2 miles is a short distance but if you live in a city you might have multiple closer options? Are they any good? Most nurseries are able to take children with Sen and they can get extra funding if necessary. Could you walk with him in a buggy and get the bus back? How does it fit in with your other son and getting to school?

Original poster

Elijuah32 · 13/12/2023 11:17

The nursery isn't perfect and I've had a few headaches with them over the years as the manager can be a bit domineering, but they were central to DS1 getting his EHCP and being accepted into his special needs primary, so they really did do alot of positive.

I'll have a think about whether a taxi will be doable. It might be. I could drop DD in to school en route to the nursery.

DH works nights and doesn't finish until almost 9am by which point the kids have to be in. He pulls his weight in other areas and is generally very hands on.

OP posts:

BungleandGeorge · 13/12/2023 11:19

Who looks after him whilst you’re working at the moment? Could you do a combination of care? Childminder might be able to drop him off?

Original poster

Elijuah32 · 13/12/2023 11:22

DS1' special needs bus comes at 8.30am on the dot

DD then needs to be in school at 8.50 and finishes at 3.20

I grab DD at 3.20 and rush back home ready for DS to arrive back at 3.50.

DS2 will be doing 16 hours in nursery spread over 2 full days. 9am - 4pm.

There's an option to do half days but more of them, but that'll be even more difficult.

OP posts:

Original poster

Elijuah32 · 13/12/2023 11:24

BungleandGeorge · 13/12/2023 11:19

Who looks after him whilst you’re working at the moment? Could you do a combination of care? Childminder might be able to drop him off?

My mum, as a temporary arrangement, which she can't maintain long term as her health is poor. I was counting down the months until he could go to nursery and I could relieve her of the childcare 😔

OP posts:

Lougle · 13/12/2023 11:27

Talk to the transport department at your LA. They may be able to offer transport for your DD so you can take DS2, or transport for DS2, as an exception.

sparkellie · 13/12/2023 11:27

Sproutier · 13/12/2023 11:04

Things change. At least you found out before he started there.

It's totally up to you. If you physically can't get him there then of course you have to withdraw him. The questions are, I suppose, (1) can LA help with transport with a child so young and (2) would the benefits of him going to a specialist setting be worth the inconvenience and expense for you of getting him there another way such as taxi?

Is there a way you can fund transport such a taxis through either your own benefits or the children's? DLA with high rate mobility would cover a lot of 2 mile taxis especially if it's school term times only.

Personally specialist nursery sounds like winning the lottery, it should set him up so much better both in development and in getting the right provisions lined up for school. But you know the setting, you need to decide if you think it's worth finding a way.

I'm not sure about where the OP is, but round me there's no way you would get a regular taxi commit to a 2 mile trip every day, especially at that time. It's just not worth them tying up a driver and having to refuse other work.
Personally I would try cycling in if that would be possible with work. Do you have a partner who could help? Its worth explaining the situation to the nursery and seeing if they have any suggestions. I'd have given my right arm for a special needs nursery setting, so I'd exhaust every option before turning the place down. It's also worrh bearing in mind hat if you send him to a mainstream nursery you may end up needing to take more time off work if they don't cope with his specific needs well.

Octavia64 · 13/12/2023 11:27

Your mum might not be able to look after him much but could she cover for example being home for the special needs bus arrival or drop off as that would free you up?

sparkellie · 13/12/2023 11:27

Sproutier · 13/12/2023 11:04

Things change. At least you found out before he started there.

It's totally up to you. If you physically can't get him there then of course you have to withdraw him. The questions are, I suppose, (1) can LA help with transport with a child so young and (2) would the benefits of him going to a specialist setting be worth the inconvenience and expense for you of getting him there another way such as taxi?

Is there a way you can fund transport such a taxis through either your own benefits or the children's? DLA with high rate mobility would cover a lot of 2 mile taxis especially if it's school term times only.

Personally specialist nursery sounds like winning the lottery, it should set him up so much better both in development and in getting the right provisions lined up for school. But you know the setting, you need to decide if you think it's worth finding a way.

I'm not sure about where the OP is, but round me there's no way you would get a regular taxi commit to a 2 mile trip every day, especially at that time. It's just not worth them tying up a driver and having to refuse other work.
Personally I would try cycling in if that would be possible with work. Do you have a partner who could help? Its worth explaining the situation to the nursery and seeing if they have any suggestions. I'd have given my right arm for a special needs nursery setting, so I'd exhaust every option before turning the place down. It's also worrh bearing in mind hat if you send him to a mainstream nursery you may end up needing to take more time off work if they don't cope with his specific needs well.

LIZS · 13/12/2023 11:29

Would your dm be able to be at home for ds1 pick up or return? Any before/afterschool care for dd?

Bramshott · 13/12/2023 11:36

If it doesn't work then it doesn't work. Can they keep him on the list with a view to offering a place again once he's 3? You say the nursery were supportive and instrumental in getting DS1 his EHCP, but you know the system now and know that you need to advocate for your DS2 so you may well not need so much support this time round.

I guess what I'm saying is that I can see you want to give your DS2 the same opportunities as his brother had, and that the nursery was a big part of that. But things change, circumstances change, and children are all different, and it's okay that DS2 will have a slightly different pre-school experience from DS1.

ActDottie · 13/12/2023 11:48

Can you organise a taxi? 2 miles away really isn’t that far. I thought you’d say it was at least 10+ miles away.

YogiYogiBear · 13/12/2023 11:50

Taxi. Round here it is quite common for them to do school run jobs, often not much else on that time in the morning.

Willyoujustbequiet · 13/12/2023 11:54

2 miles is really close.

Can you not come to a arrangement with a taxi firm? Its what DLA is for really.

starfishmummy · 13/12/2023 11:55

Definitely talk to your local authority. When my son was at nursery they provided transport by escorted taxi for special needs children.

WinterNamechange · 13/12/2023 13:19

Three children in three different schools with no other adult support and no driving sounds impossible to me unless you can afford taxis everyday? There may be a more local mainstream nursery that has good SEN provisions that could be an option. Hope you can find a solution OP!

elliejjtiny · 24/06/2024 12:54

I had a very similar situation when my dc were little but the pre school was 7 miles away. We got help from banardos (sorry, I can't spell it) but only for a term, with wasn't that helpful.