To be embarrased by my 4yr old dd behaviour?

[notnowbernard]

I think so, probably

But am interested to hear how others would have dealt with this

DD 4.3. Leaving my M+D house earlier... dd refused to say goodbye to my Dad... fine, she has done this to different people LOADS of times (end of the day, knackered, stroppy)

BUT... stamps foot, saying "I love Grandpa (fil) the best, I don't want to say goodbye to Grandad!"

Luckily my Dad is very chilled about all things 4yr old-related but I was so embarassed!

Was too late in the day for a "little chat", she was about to enter full-on strop mode

Don't know whether to let it go or bring it up in the morning?

let it gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Ooh I'd be embarrassed too and would have had a go at her for good measure in the car on the way home.

I'd talk to her tomorrow about hurting peoples feelings etc, at 4.3 she should know what you're on about.

Let it go (I have a 4.3 year old DS). I would probably have felt a bit annoyed at the time but it is just one of the things that children do #I think

Let it go.

She will have completely forgotten about it by the morning, and all you will do is get yourself riled up.

4 year olds do this sort of thing all the time - they don't mean it, it's generally attention seeking, and is best ignored.

yes let it go, Its her job to embarrass you.

You can always get your own back when she is 16

I don't think yabu (I have a 4.2 year old dd myself).

I would have done as you did (presumably you smiled at your dad and ignored her calmly). Thankfully your dad seems a reasonable, understanding man.

You could have a very casual conversation with your daughter at some point but not make a big deal of it.

My dd tends to behave in a similar way with my ils - she finds it hard to understand that Grandma is a littl "cooler" in her affections than Nanny (my mum). I am always on edge and ready to create a diversion if she is about to say something controversial. Ils have very little sympathy and have conveniently forgotton that most 4 year olds don't display their best behaviour all the time.

My dcs have been a bit like this with my dad. I have had the "chat" with them. I told them that he is my daddy and I love him and while it is up to them whether they like him or not, they WILL be polite to him. I also pointed out to them that he loves them and it makes him sad when they are not nice. They are polite now.

They are 3 and 4.

I'd probably let it go (certainly think it was best not to tackle it late on a friday )
If you're feeling keen/she's in the right mood tomorrow, I might have a chat about thinking about what you say might make other people feel (how would you feel if... type thing)

it is embarrassing but not unusual - my twin dds are same age and one or other of them often does this sort of thing

My 3.7 DD does stuff like this all the time.

My mum reminds me kids are little individuals who have to right to assert their personalities from time to time. Definately the right thing to do to leave it for now, but at an opportune moment tomorrow you could mention your dad may have been sad at what she said.

Gosh everyone but me says to leave it, maybe I'm wrong. However, although my dad never says anything it does hurt him and I do think that the dcs need to learn that some people they need to be civil to whether they like them or not. Guess it depends if this is a one off bit of stroppiness (which I would let go) or a pattern of behaviour (which I would not).

Goosey I agreed with you!

(There I again I suppose I would what with us being in the same book and stuff....)

I think it's possible to agree both with you, Goosey and with the let-it-go brigade.

In other words, have a gentle word with dd at a convenient time about not saying things which might make other people sad, but let it go in the sense of not agonising about whatever faults in your parenting/dd's character etc etc may have led to this embarrassment. Parental guidance=good, ruining a Friday night by agonising=not good.

Thankyou everyone

Consensus seems to be "let it go"

Will therefore gratefully accept the advice

Glad dd isn't the only one who is like this. I know it's fairly typical 4y old behaviour but still is bloody toe-curling when it happens

My Dad is lovely and I know he will not be REMOTELY offended... I do sometimes worry that next time it will be aimed at someone not quite as small-person savvy

Might have to have a little word at some point in the future about hurting people's feelings

Would also like to turn off the strop-switch, but can't see that happening anytime soon!

When you find the off switch please come back and let us all know.

as everyone else said basically. let it go.

dont make an issue of it and she wont either

I fear it will be a long time coming...

DD1 was a fab toddler. I can honestly say I can count on the fingers of 1 hand the times she's had a what I'd call a proper tantrum.

She went a bit peculiar post dd2's arrival when 2.8m. Calmed down again by about 3.3 or so

But, my God, the strops now are something else! True Am-Dram style, wailing, foot-stamping, roaring moments

It's a good job she's so lovely most of the time

Oh yes they certainly have a lot of stamina at this age. But when they are being lovely they are so gorgeous!

Agree, not a lot of middle ground!