Please help me write a message to leave family WhatsApp

[WhatsAppExit]

I’m in an extended family WhatsApp. It’s full on, lots of passive aggression, sexist “jokes”, endless gifs, stresses me out. I’ve left twice over the past few years, but I’m added back in or a new group forms and they add me. I’ve said I don’t want to be added, but that is ignored. I’ve muted, but I still see it running all day.

Dear mumsnet, please help me to write a message saying I’m cutting down social media in the new year so leaving lots of groups, please message me direct but please don’t add me to group chats. How can I word this so it doesn’t offend and doesn’t get me immediately added to a new family group, which is what has happened in the past. Thank you x

If you already don't post, can't you just remove yourself, then only the admin knows you've left?

You can archive it then you don’t see it popping up with new messages.

Also you can make it so that people can't add you to groups without your ok. You have to do it manually so takes a little while if you have a lot of contacts but totally worth it.

There is a setting where you can put it so you are not automatically added to groups, instead you get a request message from the person who wants to add you.

i think was you wrote is fine and should cause offence and you can also use this if someone tried to add you to a group

Archive it and make sure you don't tick any box that asks whether you'd like it to reappear in your feed if someone adds to the thread. Has worked for me with old threads.

Just archive it.

Say it’s a New Year’s resolution to cut back on phone time generally and then leave the group. Keep leaving if they re add you.

Open the group, press the three dots in the top right corner then select "mute notifications". No fuss and no drama.

If you leave groups now, the rest of the group do not get the message that you have left, only admin. So just leave and as pp said, set it to that you cannot be added to groups randomly. Then perhaps message whoever is admin and tell them you do not want to me readded.

Leaving a message and then leaving is just going to draw attention to the fact you are.

I'd just take the not an airport no need to announce departures approach and take myself off, change settings so you can't be automatically added to group chats. Easy peasy job done

Just mute it! Flouncing off is just unnecessary and attention seeking.

Who else do you use WhatsApp with? If it's a small amount of people could you just uninstall it and use text or another less popular messaging service?

If they keep adding you am not sure they are going to stop. They probably don't even think. Just mindlessly selecting people to add. Not sure they will remember or care about your specific request to be left out. Do you think they will respect/remember it long-term?

Just remove yourself from the group. Don't make a big announcement. If you don't post people won't notice anyway.

If you've already said you don't want to be added and they've ignored you, then they're going to ignore you whatever you say. There is no magic message that will stop them ignoring you (unless you want to escalate the hostility substantially).

Just leave every time. You don't need to say anything.

Mute and archive it. You won’t even know it’s there.

I tried leaving FaceBook quietly and got a lot of 'Are you okay?' messages. I honestly thought no one would notice but it didn't work.

If you mute it you don’t see it all day?

I did this recently . I had it on mute but I hated going on WhatsApp and seeing 67 unread messages! I really hate WhatsApp groups and think they are totally unnecessary so I just wrote a post saying ‘I’m giving up all WhatsApp groups as it’s too much admin, please message me directly if you need me ‘ and then left them all .

Just leave. It's not an airport.

Thank you all. I’ve changed settings, used the three dots and sent the admin what I had put on the thread. When I left before I just left, but was then readded. I’ve previously told the admin who was hassled to readd me. I hadn’t realised people don’t get a message if I leave, so that’s good to know. Many thanks all.