7 months in and still struggling (baby)

[Longesthello]

Posting for traffic as I’m really at a loss what to do. My baby is 7 months old and I’m still really struggling with being a mum. The first 4 months were really tough, relux baby and I really struggled to adjust to being a mum. Month 5 I felt like I’d found my feet but 6/7 I’m back to square one. He’s stopped sleeping, due to teething and what feels like constant illness, I’m barely getting any sleep. He seems so miserable all day, I go to classes and play with him but I am so burnt out. I feel so down every day like I’m not doing a good enough job, I’m constantly running in circles trying to keep on top of things, forgetting things and I feel like a shadow of the person I was.

My husband is amazing, but he works away so when it’s just me and the baby I struggle even more. He does a lot for me and the baby but I’m also conscious he has a high pressure job and is the breadwinner by a considerable distance so can’t afford to let things slip.

My mum lives down the road but is no help at all, she does a lot of ‘I could have done this’ ‘I would have done that’ but never actually shows up and does anything. She only seems to want to play with DS when she comes over, she doesn’t even ask how I am or barely acknowledges me. Not that I expect it from her but we were really close before I had DS and I wrongly assumed she’d be a big support for me.

I don’t really know what I’m asking but just hoping someone out there can offer some suggestions to help me.

I've got a 7 month old and feel in your shoes sometimes.

I've got no family nearby as we relocated and my DP is working away.

Anbesol liquid is a godsend, the teething powders and gels are a pile of crap in my opinion.

I've also lowered my standards massively, the house and I can look a mess so little one can be happy. Sometimes going out too much to classes can be exhausting so I've stopped, I do 1 or 2 a week and that's it and for the other days we potter around or go to the shops or try to meet other mums.

If you can let your mum play with DS then amazing, I'd pop off for some sleep and leave them to it,

It's hard being a mum, especially during the winter months but it sounds like your doing an amazing job!!

I also have a sling... my little one sometimes just wants to be held all the time. If I can I'll put him in his sling and he can do chores with me. He doesn't seem to be too bothered. Do you have a local sling library?

I think your doing amazing to be getting out with him. Well done. I never go out with my 8 month old. She doesn't sleep, am beyond tired. I have to save my energy for all the clubs my older child does. Its really bloody hard. I think this is a particularly difficult stage in having a baby. They are moving more and more towards being a toddler. Huge transition for them and it makes them challenging to care for. The baby stage is full of so many transitions. You adjust and then another smacks you in the face.

I think a lot of what your struggling with is lack of sleep like myself. If I get a bit more than 2 hours am a different person. Don't suppose a half day at nursery once a week is an option so you can rest?

This stage will pass for both us onto better stages. Am living for the toddler days. I love a toddler.

Thanks for replying. It feels like I’m the only one going through it so it’s good to know I’m not (although sorry your both having struggles too)

My husband has suggested nursery but I can’t find one that will do 1 session a week and 2 would be a bit of a stretch at the moment with me not working (I’m self employed).

I have tried having a nap when my mum has come over but I’m in a constant state of stress and anxiety I can’t switch off for long enough to fall asleep. I think I’m feeling quite resentful towards her, she loves to tell me how easy I’ve got it, and how hard it was in her day. Whilst also telling me me and my sister slept through the night from 6 weeks…

@Thelaundryfairyhasbeenassassinated I think that’s what I’m struggling with, I just figure it out and then it all changes and I’m back to not having a clue again.

Loads of us really struggle. People just tend not to be as open about a harder baby. Mainly because we then hear about all the wonderful babies who slept through the night or you should do x,y or z. It is really hard and when I was a first time mum I was utterly broken by it. Now I know I will soon have a fun toddler and it will get easier. Still be hard! But more fun and sleep will improve.

Your doing great and tell your mum to keep her perfect baby stories to herself.