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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Feeling Frustrated/Pushed Out

5 replies

InAMess2023 · 13/12/2023 09:16

Split my time between two roles in the same organisation (NHS) - 22.5 hours and 15 hours. 22.5 hr role is home-based with occasional office time - no issues at all.

Culture of 15 hours team is very much must be office-based. I have ASD and also physical health problems which means it's not always practical to be in the office - have had reasonable adjustments in place for many years before I started this job. Physical health has got worse since starting this which means some days I rely on strong painkillers and prefer not to drive. Will always push myself to go in if absolutely necessary i.e. work that cannot be done from home. I do have a document drawn up by HR that outlines the adjustments I need (literally all it is is that I worked compressed hours so 4 x 10 hour days, and that I need to WFH if I need to).

Today I'm due to be in several different meetings, including one (for 15 hour role) that lasts all day and that I would have to keep dipping in and out of to attend other (online) meetings that are priority. Didn't really want to have to keep getting up and leaving so that plus the fact I've taken Tramadol today meant I decided to WFH. The all-day meeting is every month and has always had some people dial in. However I go to join this morning and there's no link - face-to-face only apparently! I didn't check the link as it's a recurring appointment but I've now had to give last minute apologies which reflects badly on me! To make it worse I had a pre-meeting with the team earlier and said I'd be dialling in - nobody said I wouldn't be able to!

So now I feel stupid. I've a 1:1 with my boss tomorrow but I just don't think I have the mental energy to raise it as I don't want to be some sort of snowflake playing on my reasonable adjustments! This role is a secondment due to end March and I was planning to extend it but I think now it's better if I don't. Just feeling a bit miffed that nobody flagged up I'd have to be there in person!

Oh and just to add there's nothing in the meeting today that I couldn't pick up remotely.

YABU Suck it up and get your arse into work
YANBU They should make allowances

OP posts:
Muchof · 13/12/2023 09:20

Why is everybody else responsible for telling you the location of a meeting but you have no responsibility to check yourself?

SuperSange · 13/12/2023 09:24

Muchof · 13/12/2023 09:20

Why is everybody else responsible for telling you the location of a meeting but you have no responsibility to check yourself?

First post nails it.

InAMess2023 · 13/12/2023 09:29

Muchof · 13/12/2023 09:20

Why is everybody else responsible for telling you the location of a meeting but you have no responsibility to check yourself?

This meeting occurs every month with the option to dial in or attend face-to-face. It's a recurring meeting in my calendar so didn't open this specific one since it's been the same every time - there's been no discussion about it moving to face to face only nor did anyone flag it up with me when I said I'd be dialling in.

OP posts:
Blixem · 13/12/2023 11:01

Why didn't you just ask the meeting organiser for the link to dial in?
We have reoccurring meetings and sometimes there is no link, so I ask for one to be sent.

InAMess2023 · 13/12/2023 11:29

Blixem · 13/12/2023 11:01

Why didn't you just ask the meeting organiser for the link to dial in?
We have reoccurring meetings and sometimes there is no link, so I ask for one to be sent.

I emailed four people I knew would have their laptops open... including the chair and the person taking minutes. Nobody got back to me

OP posts:
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