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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Poor nights sleep, AIBU to ask when you’d reconsider driving?

95 replies

chessica · 13/12/2023 08:06

I slept 4 hours from midnight until four, then tossed and turned until 5:30, then disturbed, then managed to get another 45 minutes. Grand total of 4 hour 45 min. If I was at home and didn’t have to work this would be fine! But since I now do, I can’t shake the worry of whether I’m ok to drive. My role involves quite a lot of driving and I need to do a 50 mile round trip today, 25 miles each way. I’ve done the journey before and I am an experienced driver but know you shouldn’t drive if you haven’t slept much

AIBU to ask where your limit would be on driving and sleep? Would you drive anyway if you felt fine or reconsider if you’d been up and down in the night?

OP posts:
SweetFemaleAttitude · 13/12/2023 08:24

Stop being a wet lettuce fgs.

Are you usually this dramatic?

HowToSaveAWife · 13/12/2023 08:25

.... I thought you were going to say 100+ miles but 25 miles each way with a break?! Ah come on now OP, that's not even far for goodness sake. This is a bit pathetic, if you're not able to drive that far after 4 and a half hours sleep then I'd wonder about your capabilities as a driver.

Mazuslongtoenail · 13/12/2023 08:25

When it’s a one off it can feel brutal but if you shouldn’t drive on four hours sleep I think a lot of new parents would never go out.

SunshineAutumnday · 13/12/2023 08:26

After a night shift on the drive home, I would have loud music on and windows opened whatever the weather. To keep alert and drive the easiest route home.

On mornings when I've had little sleep (thank you menopause) I have strong coffee, windows opened and upbeat music.

Have also invested in sleep tools: magnesium, sleep spray and mediation app to help me get back into sleep.

Tacotortoise · 13/12/2023 08:27

It's really down to you and your bio rhythms. I'm usually fine the morning after a terrible nights sleep but then really crash mid-late afternoon before picking up again in the evening. So as long as I wasn't driving bw 4pm and 6pm Id be fine.

Original poster
chessica · 13/12/2023 08:28

Thank you to everyone who’s offered constructive advice! I guess it is probably dramatic to a lot of people and I should just crack on. I am prone to worrying though so I should probably sort that out before anything else. :)

OP posts:
Wendyspotatopeeler · 13/12/2023 08:32

I need a lot of sleep but insomnia took over when I was pregnant, mixed with low caffeine I was extra tired.. I got caught speeding at a camera because I was convinced it was a 40mph zone but I was wrong.
Cut to heavily pregnant me doing a speed awareness course.

For me needs must, I had to drive to get to work and I have to work to pay for life so I had no choice but to get on with it whilst tired.

ActDottie · 13/12/2023 08:32

You’re the only one who knows. My husband would be fine with this, me on the other would not be no matter how much coffee I’ve had.

MissBuffyAnneSummers · 13/12/2023 08:32

If I felt tired I'd go back to bed and have a 20 minute cat nap. Then shower breakfast and get on with it.

I'd personally be totally fine but I'm not you so have no clue about how you feel and what is safe for you.

megletthesecond · 13/12/2023 08:38

It's not ideal but in good weather as a one off it doesn't sound too bad. As long as you don't feel sick and drowsy.

I changed my job when I had dc's so I could walk and didn't have a 15 mile motorway drive. It wasn't safe to do regularly.

All the "woman up" comments explain the poor drivers on our roads really.

bonzaitree · 13/12/2023 08:38

Honestly if this were me I’d do the following to stay alert:

  • cold aircon
  • lots of stops to walk around
  • get jacked up on coffee
  • have some sugary treats
  • blast upbeat music.

you can do this OP xx

Inastatus · 13/12/2023 08:39

I don’t think that’s a huge amount of driving OP especially with a coffee break in between.

CoatOfArms · 13/12/2023 08:39

25 miles is not an issue. 250 miles might be.

Whattodo112222 · 13/12/2023 08:42

Sorry OP, I thought you were going to say you need to do a 400 mile round-trip on 2 hours sleep..

You need to woman up definitely.

4 hours and 45 minutes sleep is a lot to most people! I average that most nights as my DD isn't a great sleeper.

Strong coffee with two sugars before you go, window slightly open to get some air in and if you feel sleepy whilst driving, pull over.

ArmchairPhycologist · 13/12/2023 08:44

@chessica I think you're sensible to consider the risk, and if you ploughed into any of the above posters who told you to get on with it they'd definitely be regretting telling you to 'woman up'!

Driving on 4.5 hours sleep is something that I'd do/have done/consider to be absolutely fine on a background of usually feeling well and healthy. But add in a cold/background health condition/stress/worry about the appointment you're driving to and the risk goes up.

I'm going through some post-viral fatigue shit at the moment. I drove 2 miles to collect dc from school on Monday, then 2 miles home. Had to have a lie down when I got back and managed nothing other than making myself a cup of tea/piece of toast for the whole day yesterday. I'm not back at work yet because it's a 40 minute drive to the office and then a full on day with no downtime. Then obvs the commute back home after 8 hours. In your situation I'd maybe go if I knew I could rest when I got there.

Petrine · 13/12/2023 08:45

i wish I thought I’d had a bad nights sleep when sleeping nearly 5 hours! That’s a good nights sleep for me - I sometimes don’t sleep at all despite being in bed all night. I still drive.

You say you’re an experienced driver so 25 miles each way is nothing

IamwhoIsayIam · 13/12/2023 08:46

I am horrified by some of these answers. Not the OP who is taking it seriously enough to ask the question but the responses.

My father was killed by a driver who feel asleep at the wheel.

A lack of sleep can impair your coordination and reaction times in the same way drinking alcohol can.

ArmchairPhycologist · 13/12/2023 08:50

Although if you do go, many years ago I knew someone who drove for a living and he gave me a tip that sounds really bizarre but does actually work. Lick your finger and run it across your eyebrow. Same on the other one. Then wind the window down for a minute or 2. This sort of concentrates cold onto your brow and helps improve focus.

WillowCraft · 13/12/2023 08:51

I don't think 25 miles is that far and 4 hours sleep as a one off is manageable.

I wouldn't want to do more than 2 hours straight on that amount of sleep if it was an ongoing thing.

I don't think it's reasonable to call in sick for this.

Spendonsend · 13/12/2023 08:51

My sons just had driver safety week at college. His takeaway message was its safer to drive high or drunk than tired.

Im sure the actual message was dont do any of those.

I would base it on how i felt rather than sleep quantity.

MarleyandMarleyWoooo · 13/12/2023 08:52

Personally I’d be absolutely fine and perfectly safe to drive. I’ve certainly driven on less sleep/rest as a farmer/contractor. That being said, it’s very personal and if you feel in any way at all that you’re not safe to drive then you mustn’t. It’s not worth the risk. Hope you get a better night tonight.

tellmewhenthespaceshiplandscoz · 13/12/2023 08:53

chessica · 13/12/2023 08:28

Thank you to everyone who’s offered constructive advice! I guess it is probably dramatic to a lot of people and I should just crack on. I am prone to worrying though so I should probably sort that out before anything else. :)

To be fair OP I think some posters are being over harsh. Your post isn't emotive or dramatic it's pretty factual and at the end of the day this is a time of year when so many other drivers (not you) will think nothing of driving in the am over the limit still or beleive they are ok driving after a few pints. So when we risk asses we consider we are close to one of more such bellends at any time when driving so factor the behaviour of such Twats in. Clearly you are thinking about road safety and that's a good thing.

That said you will probably be absolutely fine but definitely take the mid point break to leg stretch ", fresh air and get a snack. Go easy on the coffee as I find if I just have one more cup than normal after a crap nights sleep I start to feel unpleasantly wired a few hours later.

tellmewhenthespaceshiplandscoz · 13/12/2023 08:55

And I say this as someone who is enjoying the insomnia filled nights of peri menopause. Yea my sleep is shit most nights but it's not a race to the bottom

MooseAndSquirrelLoveFlannel · 13/12/2023 08:55

I wish people would stop commenting "I wish I got 4 hours of sleep" because that's so disingenuous.

If the OP us used to 8+ hours, then she has had around half her usual amount and it's broken sleep too. She is allowed to feel rough and affected by that, just because you get less sleep and you can cope doesn't mean the OP does.

Distance doesn't automatically mean there is no chance she'll get in an accident fgs! Doesn't matter if she's driving 2 miles or 200 miles, if she loses concentration or dozes off the results can be catastrophic. There's a reason the motorways have big flashing signs that say TIREDNESS KILLS

tellmewhenthespaceshiplandscoz · 13/12/2023 08:56

Absolutely, it's all relative to what you normally have .