Aibu for being upset

[LilyGallashaw]

Here a little backstory before I explain. My partner and I have been together over 2 years. We live in different states. We decided that we would update each other when we leave the house just so we know we made it safe. In the past he will get home and I don't hear from him from hours then he will call back or text and say he fell asleep. I get that people need sleep.

Yesterday we spoke around 8:30 am before work. He is allowed to be on his phone and he was not driving. So expected to hear something... I texted him around 3:55 to let him know I had errands to run. By this time I haven't heard anything. I let him know I made it safe and when I got home. Still no response it's after 6. I fall asleep a hour after getting home and I wake up at 9. Still nothing I'm worried so I call him and he doesn't pick up. I fall asleep again and wake up at 10:30 to take my pill still nothing.

I'm freaking out thinking of calling his family to see if he's safe because so much time has gone by I call again it's almost 11. He picks up saying he just woke up when he got off he passed out. That's ok but you didn't have 1 second to send a text and let me know you're ok? From 8 in the morning until 11 pm???

This morning when I left out I didn't update him not gonna lie I'm a little upset. He calls at 7 to ask me if I'm trying to prove a point because he fell asleep yesterday. I'm not I'm busy so he heads to work and later he tells me he's otw home. Today he was supposed to be coming to visit no update.

He gets home and I can see he's on the game. No phone call no text until 7 saying " Goodnight." What upsets me is if I would have done that to him I would never hear the end of it. Now I can't expect for him to be like me but even when I'm super busy I still find time to at least send a text to let him know something.

And to add he only works 2 days a week moving things.

You are both being unreasonable.

As two grown adults you should be able to make your own way in the world each day without constant monitoring and check ins.

Good grief that's exhausting. What would you have done in a world before mobile phones? All sounds ridiculous & petty on both sides.

You're both exhausting

If you need that kind of reassurance from each other and one of you isn’t into it, I don’t think you’re well suited to an LDR as a couple. And if he’s got double standards around expecting you to check in but not to send messages himself, he’s not suited to relationships at all.

Wow that would drive me nuts. Surely it more like being in prison than a relationship. What happens if you aren't and change your plans and don't get home until hours later than planned. Does the other person sit around worrying until you 'check in'?

This would drive me insane

Do you both live alone in very rural areas? This would be suffocating for most people. How did you see that he was on the game, are you monitoring him? Are you weed smokers,why are you both randomly falling asleep?

Tldr
You lost me at
"We decided that we would update each other when we leave the house just so we know we made it safe"

This in and of itself is bonkers / ludicrous / nuts and totally impractical.
I'd find it controlling and oppressive. Some Prisoners have more civil liberties.

If you guys are that obsessive turn on tracking on your phone so you can monitor each other 24/7 and be done with it

The whole system is a non starter for me.
You both reached adulthood being able to leave and come back home unaccompanied. Why the need to check in? What if one of you isn't alright? What is the other person going to do? Drive to a different state scouting the streets?
We only ever check in if one of us is going on a trip which involves either a long drive (>8h) or a flight.

But then you mention he was "on the game" so I assume young adults, possibly weed smokers... so, in the nicest possible way GROW UP!