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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Christmas gift for counsellor

15 replies

MagicMatilda · 12/12/2023 22:37

Trying to find out an answer from Google but not getting anywhere.

Do you think it be ok of me to give a small (value around £30) to my counsellor?

I want to show my appreciation and thanks but not sure if they are allowed to accept gifts?

Thank you.

OP posts:
mynameiscalypso · 12/12/2023 22:43

I give my psychiatrist one every year. It's normally small and silly. This year it's a Lego set.

DarkDarkNight · 12/12/2023 22:43

I think it’s inappropriate and would be viewed as so by your counsellor. I can’t imagine they would be allowed to take it as they need to maintain a professional distance. It’s a nice idea, but I don’t think it’s needed.

LightSpeeds · 12/12/2023 22:45

I was debating whether to give mine a Christmas card and decided it would be crossing a line - so on that basis I'd say no!

Thamantha · 12/12/2023 22:52

If they are in a public sector (e.g. nhs) there is a limit on gifts they can accept - a box of chocolates costing less than a tenner is usually okay, but actual money would not be something they could accept.

coloursquare · 12/12/2023 22:53

I wouldn't.

MolkosTeenageAngst · 12/12/2023 22:54

I think a gift is fine but £30 is spending too much, I think something generic like chocolates or a bath set etc that’s under £10 would probably be more appropriate.

idontlikealdi · 12/12/2023 22:54

It's inappropriate.

pregnancyrollercoaster · 12/12/2023 22:55

I've got our HV a £10 costa voucher to say thank you as she has been amazing

Rookie93 · 12/12/2023 23:00

You could always ask your councellor and explore what the gift giving meant for you both.

ilovesooty · 12/12/2023 23:04

It would be better not to, I think. £30 isn't a small gift either.

fourelementary · 12/12/2023 23:06

A card is totally fine and lovely.. and a smaller
gift of £10-20 would be perfectly fine as well. Not money but you weren’t doing money anyway.
Counselling develops a relationship that is genuine. Yes they are paid as well, but it’s not an easy job and takes a lot of training and a genuine commitment and interest in you as a person… so you appreciating that and showing this at Christmas is nice.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 12/12/2023 23:09

I think they would feel uncomfortable I wouldn't. A heartfelt card about how much they've helped you - they'd want that

pippapoo62 · 12/12/2023 23:13

I think I read somewhere that the gift should be a token gift .My son has a therapist and I usually buy her a Lindt Teddy Bear and a chocolate bar with a card in a gift bag . Just to show her that we appreciate all that she has done for us .

IntheSnowySnowyMountains · 12/12/2023 23:18

Mine gets lots of chocolates - then shares them with her patients!

She also has some hand made items in her office (phone stand, clock, that's kind of thing) made by patients, so I think that type of gift would be OK.

I've never given one because it doesn't feel right to me. But if it feels right to you I think it's fine.

Original poster
MagicMatilda · 13/12/2023 08:21

Thank you everyone. I think I’m going to play it safe and not take a gift. I don’t want anyone to feel awkward.

OP posts:
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