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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Harassed on a walk

303 replies

MooseBreath · 12/12/2023 16:30

I just got back from a walk on a public footpath along a field with my dog and DS (13 months). This path is in a very open area and is frequently used by dog walkers, which are rarely on a lead as they tend to run about the field together. My dog, though not on a lead, was walking to heel on the grass rather than the path.

A jogger ran towards me and when she approached, she slowed down and changed directions so that she was walking alongside me (my dog was still on the grass to heel). The woman pulled out her phone and started filming me stating that if my "dog's shitty nose so much as touched her knee that she considers that harassment and she would use any means to get him away" from her.

I stopped walking and asked her to stop filming me and said that my dog has no interest in approaching her, then carried on walking a bit quicker, with my dog still by my side.

She continued to film me and walk alongside me saying she's "sick of everyone and their bloody dogs". I asked her to please stop following me, to which she said "I can walk wherever I please". I responded repeating my request to stop filming me and leave me alone. She followed me for a further few minutes, filming the entire time as my dog did nothing. Eventually the woman turned and left in a huff.

I wanted to turn and go home, but I certainly didn't want her to know where I live. AIBU to call 101 and report? It seems silly because she didn't touch me, my baby, or my dog, but she wouldn't go away, and I was worried that my dog might so much as follow a scent and set foot on the path. I don't know if she's done anything illegal, and I don't know if police could do anything, but I know how unsafe I felt.

OP posts:
ABCXYZ17 · 12/12/2023 16:32

If it happens again it could be considered harassment. She sounds a bit unhinged. Not a nice experience but I don’t think calling police would achieve much. Unless they’ve had several reports of her harassing people.

SutWytTi · 12/12/2023 16:37

I would report that to 101, that was harassment as she continued to follow you and film you after you asked her to stop.

How very upsetting, take care of yourself.

vodkaredbullgirl · 12/12/2023 16:40

What a bitch, you were doing nothing wrong.

HandyLittleGadget · 12/12/2023 16:42

If you see her again, tell to fuck right off or you'll ring the police

ATerrorofLeftovers · 12/12/2023 16:44

It sounds like you should have been filming her, not the other way around, though that could have upped the anti a lot.

Have you seen her before? If she’s a regular on that walk I would report today. If not, I probably would leave it this time, but if I spotted her again I would get my own phone out and start filming her in case she starts again. She sounds very difficult.

Original poster
MooseBreath · 12/12/2023 16:46

I have seen her many times before. She's always seemed a bit odd and sort of follows from a distance, but she's never been so close or filmed.

OP posts:
tachycardigan · 12/12/2023 16:48

Sounds like she was looking for an argy bargy and picked on a lone female with child as a safe target.

You did the right thing OP.

Choosychoice · 12/12/2023 16:51

Put your dog on a lead in public if there are runners around. The rights of another human to use public areas without the risk of getting hassled by a dog trump the rights of a dog.

CuttingMeOpenthenHealingMeFine · 12/12/2023 16:54

Well it seems she was hoping that by harassing you she would provoke your dog into doing something (jumping up etc.) she would then I assume cut the video of the bits where she was bothering you and just show the dog part thereby proving whatever point she wants to make.

My dog would never bother someone randomly but if that happened to me there is a chance he would sense my energy and get a bit worked up, especially if they were speaking aggressively. Thankfully your dog sounds very calm.

I would report the incident as it could be a pattern of behaviour, or become one. Harassing a lone woman with a child on a quiet path isn’t on, by anyone, male or female.

EnjoyTheMushrooms · 12/12/2023 16:55

Next time, declare that she's unhinged and got an unhealthy obsession with you, that you've done nothing wrong and that you're filming back for your own protection and whip out your camera phone.

tachycardigan · 12/12/2023 16:56

Eventually the woman turned and left in a huff.

It’s quite funny that she was itching for your dog’s ‘shitty nose’ (how nasty) to touch her and then she was disappointed and went off in a huff when he didn’t oblige.

Original poster
MooseBreath · 12/12/2023 16:56

@Choosychoice My dog has no interest in people other than his family. He is very placid. A lead is highly unnecessary as he wasn't even on the path.

OP posts:
Original poster
MooseBreath · 12/12/2023 16:59

@tachycardigan Yes, God forbid my dog's "shitty" nose minds it's business!

OP posts:
nottaotter · 12/12/2023 16:59

She sounds very odd and has just made a total fool of herself, what an absolute werido.

TheaBrandt · 12/12/2023 17:00

There’s a middle aged lady dog walker round here who appears perfectly normal but occasionally launches into a really foul mouthed rant (FUCK OFF) etc at other dog walkers and she also attacks on occasion - she shoved my teen and tried to push a friend into the road. Other times you get a cheery hello. She had a head injury apparently so people are kindly towards her but stay away and accept it’s not personal.

vodkaredbullgirl · 12/12/2023 17:01

Choosychoice · 12/12/2023 16:51

Put your dog on a lead in public if there are runners around. The rights of another human to use public areas without the risk of getting hassled by a dog trump the rights of a dog.

The woman was harassing the OP, dog and Op did nothing wrong.

CatamaranViper · 12/12/2023 17:04

Choosychoice · 12/12/2023 16:51

Put your dog on a lead in public if there are runners around. The rights of another human to use public areas without the risk of getting hassled by a dog trump the rights of a dog.

And her 'rights' were upheld even though OPs dog wasn't on a lead because her dog didn't hassle her in any way, shape or form

Mumof2teens79 · 12/12/2023 17:05

Choosychoice · 12/12/2023 16:51

Put your dog on a lead in public if there are runners around. The rights of another human to use public areas without the risk of getting hassled by a dog trump the rights of a dog.

There was no risk, the dog was under control at all times. That is the only legal requirement.

EvilElsa · 12/12/2023 17:05

She wants something to put on social media to drum up a bit of drama and a witch hunt. Sadly these type of people are becoming more common -they get a bee in their bonnet about an issue and really go for it, even to the lengths of trying to cause the issue to arise. I'll give the example of cyclists -and before anyone has a pop, I AM a cyclist. There's quite a few now who seem to go out with the sole purpose of finding an issue with a car driver so they can jump straight on social media for a good old "name and shame" post. These are not done for public interest, it's done for likes. I had one guy who openly told me he hoped to get sponsorship from his page and these videos garnered the most likes.
If she approaches you again tell her calmly if she continues to harass you the police will be called. I would advise putting your dog on the lead when you spot her though, just to save yourself the hassle. Give her nothing to record.

CatamaranViper · 12/12/2023 17:06

Seems overkill but maybe get a GoPro or some sort of wearable camera in case she does this again. Or just if you see her from a distance get your camera out ready. I'd be really wary about her doing something to attract your dog to her (treats or similar) so she can record the whole thing. Basically manufacture a situation.

Mothership4two · 12/12/2023 17:10

I would log this with 101 in case it happens again/escalates. Be ready if you see her and if she tries anything film her as discreetly as you can trying not to provoke her.

mcmooberry · 12/12/2023 17:10

Choosychoice · 12/12/2023 16:51

Put your dog on a lead in public if there are runners around. The rights of another human to use public areas without the risk of getting hassled by a dog trump the rights of a dog.

Eh? This woman totally misjudged the OP and her placid dog who who no threat to her at all and didn't even step on the path. If anyone was getting hassled it was the OP.

eardefender · 12/12/2023 17:12

she threatened your dog and you had a baby with you. I would report her to 101. I would also make sure you have your phone with you and film her if she does this again and report her again. I am not sure there is much else you can do.

Bitchassmosquito · 12/12/2023 17:13

Sometimes, in this life, you encounter people who are genuinely a bit unhinged. Sounds like she may of been one of them 😕

Arightoldcarryabag · 12/12/2023 17:15

As much as it's tempting to call 101, I doubt they would take any action based on one incident but don't let that put you off, you were there so know better than us how threatening this was.
Make a record of it, send yourself an email or something and if it happens again, you've a record of repeated harassment which should be taken seriously.

For what it's worth, she sounds unwell. I'm not making excuses as you should take the same actions regardless but she isn't behaving in a normal manner. With that in mind I'd be extremely cautious in your interactions as if she has some mental issues, it could be unpredictable and of course, dangerous.

Perhaps she's just had a bad day and it's nothing, hopefully so. But be mindful of yourself.

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