How to move forward with this??

[whatdoesaducksay]

Hi

Need some advice regarding my childminder.
Been using her for 6 months, very friendly my DC seems happy to go there. No issues other than DC comes out with a dirty face most days, which she puts down to not wanting to upset them.
My first child so I didn’t really know what to expect and if I’m honest she was the only childminder with availability in my area. As I say nice but I feel there is something about them I can’t quite place.

However the main reason for my post is her closing short notice and not being responsive to msgs about it.

It is always of an evening (I’m talking 7.30pm onwards) the night before my DC is due in or recently half an hour before I was due to drop my DC off.
I have no family or friends to help with my DC and solely rely on the CM.
It’s left me in really difficult positions with work to the point I have to evidence the messages I have been sent as they think I’m pulling the other one!

examples of closures

• someone made an anonymous post on social media complaining about her setting - this upset her so she “had to close until further notice” - ironically she was going on holiday the next day and by the time she was back “everything was ok for her to be open”. I asked for the nature of the complaint but was never given an answer - I feel I have the right to know?

• her own DC had a suspected illness which she said was contagious and they had to see a gp before they could re open - when I checked in twice I was given no response about whether a diagnosis was given. The only response I got was confirming “open tomorrow” - AIBU to want to know if her DC was given a diagnosis if they had been ill with a supposedly contagious illness? My DC was then diagnosed with the suspected illness and when I again asked if her DC had a confirmed Diagnosis from the GP she deflected the question back onto me asking the symptoms my DC had before informing me that my DC can’t have gotten sick from her child as they don’t see each other long enough

• Most recent one is CM herself suspects she has an infection and needs to seek medical advice - the following day I asked how they were and if they are likely to be open when I’m next due to take my DC to them - I did emphasise I really needed to know as work are on my case and I need to know whether I should make other arrangements. They have read the message and not responded.

Our interactions are usually very friendly, I’ve not made a fuss or been rude in anyway when she’s cancelled on any occasion (there have been others) as I appreciate things do happen and children get sick I always wish her well and say not to worry. (Maybe I’ve been a push over?)
But the recent occasions with her not being directly responsive and now not responding at all because I’ve been direct with her I’m finding it all quite bizarre.

AIBU or am I ok to be asking the questions I have?

How do I move forward with her without causing any friction?

Does she still charge you for these closures whereas she wouldn't if she just decided to take holiday?

Sounds like the only way to avoid friction with her is to bend over and take it up the arse.

Personally, I'd rather look for different childcare.

No, luckily I only pay for time my DC is with her… which is all very well but I still need to go to work when she cancels!

You are absolutely not being unreasonable at all, you have a job with no other help apart from her, how much tolerance will your work have when she keeps cancelling, it could wear thin? I'd be finding a new child minder asap, you've been very tolerant of her so far but you can't risk your job for someone so unreliable.

It doesn’t sound the best. It sounds like she has a lot on if she has school age children herself as well - maybe it’s a bit too much for her.

The dirty face thing.. you kind of expect that a bit from nursery but a child minder is more of a home setting. My DS always comes out pristine from his child minder… when he was at nursery he’d be filthy.

Indeed, Shenny.
It's easier to find new childcare than to find a new job.

YANBU, I would find a different childminder.

Or a nursery. Typically cost more but always reliable in this sense because of the different set up.

You said "she was the only childminder with availability in my area." Is this still the case? If there's nobody else available then I think you either have to accept her as she is or risk not having any childminder at all.

If there are alternatives available now, it's probably just moving your child to a new one.