Anyone else not know what they want?

[Noidontknowwhatiwant]

I’m am so fed up of being asked what I want. Yes there are things I want but no one is going to buy me a bassoon or a French horn (examples) or all expenses trip to the Maldives. What I really don’t want is people buying me stuff I don’t have a purpose or use for… I’m incredibly lucky that I have most things I need at my age. I just feel put on the spot constantly over people asking why I’d like. If I suggest I spend it on the kids - no, charity - no, it has to be something for me…..

please tell me I’m not alone in having no ideas for those people who want a list and will hound you for it?

Very few people buy me a present, as an adult I just buy my own stuff.
My MIL asks and I tell her to donate to the food bank she volunteers at, I just don’t need or want anything. Other than that just dh but he chooses.

Honestly I wrote some ideas down for my DH and thought “what had my life become”
plain black knickers
cool feel nighty
Plain bobbles…
I remember when I asked for perfume and jewellery not every day essentials! I just feel so blah and boring like an 80year old not 36!

I've just started asking for the ridiculously expensive stuff now. Family buy it for me, cos they are nice. The tat buyers still buy tat.

What about PJ’s, nice blanket, new book, new perfume?

i get this every year from my kids at 67 i have everything i want or need but they get offended when i say you dont have to get me anything spend it on the grandchildren, what i end up with is a bag full of stuff from one and money from the other one, i buy them presents but get things i know they like and give the grandchildren money , christmas day is one day of the year and im not bothered about not having anything to openi host dinner and get more pleasure out of producing a nice meal for my family

I needed new boots so I bought myself two pairs and have given them to DH to wrap. I've asked for book tokens so I can choose my own books, a bit of makeup and a huge map of the world because I love maps. If that's all I get I'll be happy. Don't want endless stuff I've no use for (MIL, looking at you with your repeated purchases of ugly jewellery and pyjamas in the wrong size).

My parents just want food. They have everything they need and want and are only really now interested in biscuits. And sometimes jigsaws.

You never know who would be happy to buy you an all expenses paid trip to the Maldives so just go ahead and ask 😜what’s the worst that can happen? I’d ask for gift cards if you don’t want stuff

Sounds like you're being too humble! You're allowed to list luxuries just because it's Christmas, doesn't have to be something you yearn for that's the point of gifts :) there's loads of nice stuff between grandiose and a French bassoon horn. Virgin experience vouchers for couples to have a night in are REALLY good, we have done the Thai cooking one and a whiskey tasting. It's a hit different and before hand I thought I cba with that in my own home but it was so so good.

Single parent here - have always purchased my own present - this year - two books (one signed by Neil Marshall and the author) and a pair of fabulous boots I got in the sale last week

There isn't much I NEED and my kids are either skint uni students or young and skint - one I know has got me a candle I liked, one will know doubt get me vodka and the oldest will probably give me a hug and a card!

Don't ask for what you need - think about what you like - even things you use everyday are nice gifts

I get pyjamas and vouchers and Dh Is buying me a "nice"bottle of Rosè I don't need anything either but people ask.

We’re not buying for adults this year, just gifts for the children in the family. But if I were to ask… I’d like a glasses holder in the shape of a giraffes head that I saw in dunelm 😆

Also get the added threat of if I haven’t had an email by tomorrow I’ll just ring you back to ask again…. Why are you so difficult everyone else knows what they want….

sadly I’ve had no epiphany so I imagine I will be hiding from my phone….

thanks for some solidarity ladies

Same. I have zero interest in more stuff and can't find anything I'd buy for myself never mind ask someone else to. And I loathe spas and beauty products.

If they are people you want to spend time with then, you'd like to be taken out for brunch, afternoon tea, a cinema visit with lashings of popcorn .

What is really like is someone who would organise to wash the car and hoover it once a month.

Or make me a cake or some biscuits later when it's not Christmas and I can look at food again.

Or arrange a masseuse to come to my home so I can go straight to bed afterwards and sleep. That feels like it would be bliss.

A gardener for a day for a spring clean up. So all you have to do is put some plants in pots and you're done.

When I was younger with my 3 DC all young and I didn't have much money I could think of a hundred things I'd like or need. Now I'm old, my 3 DC have all grown up, my mortgage is paid off and I have enough money that if I want something I just buy it. I have to stop myself in December from replacing worn jumpers, slippers, my coat etc so I can let one if my DC buy me those. One always buys me flowers and plants for my garden which I really like. I try to find some gardening thing I'd like for the other because they get upset if I can't tell them anything.

What I really love is to go to one of my DC house at Xmas so I can avoid cooking. That makes me really happy. I went to one son last year and I'm going to my other son's this Xmas. I've told them it's better than any present.

I want a gold necklace. And chocolate. But the chocs will do.

Ask for books, and then, if you don’t want them, give them to your local National Trust second hand bookshop or the church book sale or one of the other trillion places locally that are always asking for them. Or a nice box of biscuits and give them to a food bank.

I have 'no adult gifts' arrangements with most people.

I bought myself a sweater and offered to to DH to be his gift to me, which he was fine with.

My sister has excellent taste that's interestingly different from mine so I normally ask her for a specific type of clothing (this year a t-shirt) as I will get something nice that I would probably not choose myself.

Ask for vouchers for a shop you like.

Wave the green flag.
Or the anticonsumerist one.

Tell people you have become insanely green and anti consumerist and demand, actively demand, that they do not buy for you. For the good of the planet, and/or underpaid foctory workers/delivery drivers.

This is the problem. Most of us have everything important that we need. We have too much.

We gave up presenting at xmas time years ago bar book vouchers for some children.

I’m another one with a list of basics that I ask for from those who really want to get something - black tights from M&S, plain coloured gloves (leather/faux leather if folks are feeling generous!) nice socks, mascara, moisturiser, 8 hour cream, keep cups (I lose them) shower gel, hand cream. There is enough variation in price to suit most buyers, I get stocked up on things I use regularly and they get to buy me something. Win, win!