Is he using me ?

[Abbodabs]

I started to see this man.
who is a few years older.He really pursued me.
Arranged to meet a few times and each time had lovely time.
He is now saying he doesn’t want anything but friends and he can’t help but find me attractive and sexy but wants to be friends (yep how cringe ) and still proceeds to try it on.
He said we are friends but he won’t be sleeping with any one else.
In my head I think it’s because he finds me to fat something is just making me think this.He hasn’t said anything and he said he likes a woman who is curvy.
But I just feel absolutely rubbish in myself and I feel so stupid for being pulled into his game and used.
I feel this wouldn’t happen to me if I was thinner ? AIBU is this because I’m fatter or is just this man a player ?

So this man doesn't want dating/relationship with you, only sex. If you are looking for a relationship then don't waste time on him.

Yes, bail and find better.

Maybe he has performance issues... And it really isn't anything on your part at all.

He sounds like a player/user and maybe someone who enjoys the power they get from keeping you guessing but available. It sounds like it could get worse and really dent your confidence!

Bin

It’s possible he wants to keep you hanging on but also keep his options open. Or maybe he just likes the chase (you said he pursued you hard) and gets bored when that’s over. There’s no way of knowing if it’s about your body or not.

Nobody knows except him. But regardless of what the reason is, you deserve better than someone who keeps you at arms length. Don’t waste any more time analysing and wondering ‘what if’ because it doesn’t change the outcome. Some people are just flighty. You’ll never know the real answer so why torture yourself obsessing. Focus on yourself and finding someone who wants you as much as you them.

Just dump the sad fucker already. Its not you, or your looks/age/weight/hairstyle. He's playing some kind of twatty game that you will never figure out the rules for. It sounds like a form of negging to me. Find your inner strength and block him. He's never going to make you happy.

Why does he just want to stay friends if he finds you attractive and sexy? Because he wants both to be able to have sex with you and be able to pursue other people because you're 'just friends'. I doubt it is anything to do with your weight - you maybe feel less confident about yourself because of your weight but I suspect he is just like that and would be like that no matter what.

Next time he tells you he can't help but find you attractive and sexy tell him - oh what a nightmare - best we leave it if you can't help but be a sex pest.