Christmas Hosting

[PMblu]

In September we invited SiL and husband for lunch on Christmas Eve. They come every year at some point. I did this early so that I could place a food order. and explained that to them. The slots go quickly at our local farm shop. I got an email today requesting that we go to theirs instead, no real explanation. It’s too late to cancel/amend the food order.

They won’t pay for the food I have ordered (cost). I will freeze some of it, and as we are away the rest of holidays I will give anything I can’t use away. I’m upset at the lack of consideration though. AiBU?

Why have you agreed to it?

Indeed - why?

There’s still two weeks to go, are you sure the farm won’t cancel? They may have a waiting list, have you actually asked?

Otherwise say that doesn’t work for you as you have already booked the food shop and can’t cancel so can they still come to yours

Can't you tell them you've ordered food- you'll bring it with you?

Take the food with you and let them cook it

My partner wants to go as he thinks it will be less work for him. Kids don’t mind. It’s his sister and we have always gone with his family, his decision unless I have a big problem with it (and vice versa for my family). I don’t see what I would achieve by forcing them to stick to plan A, except maybe a tense atmosphere.

The cut off date was Friday to amend/cancel the food order.

They already know I’ve ordered food as I needed to sort out times for collection/cooking etc.

Just say you’ll go, but the turkey is sorted and take it with you

The your problem is DH deciding to go.

I think I’d just freeze what you can, eat what you can and take some with you. No point falling out. It’s rude of them though

Probably. I’m not really sure why I’m upset tbh. I can use some of the food later, give some away. Nothing will go to waste. It’s less work for me. Fairly sure SiL will say no to them cooking it. It just feels like I tried to cater for their likes and preferences and that’s now being ignored with no clear reason why (did ask).

Then get your boyfriend to figure out what to do with the food. Entirely pass the issue on to him and have nothing more to do with it.🤷🏻‍♀️

Is it just SIL & her DH? I can't imagine what sort of quantities you've ordered for a lunch that can't be kept over for a couple of days or frozen .. I agree it's annoying but unless you've catered for them and their six children surely the food won't go to waste?

It’s enough food for 7. My family and them. We are away from Christmas morning onwards. Not worried about waste - See post above - just feeling under appreciated I think.

Why not go ahead with your planned lunch and invite some of your family instead? You can always drop in on SIL on another day over the festive season.

Sorry Crossed post.

All my family live 400 miles away.

You feel the way you feel because it's rude.

I would've said no, we've already ordered food and planned to host you? Why do you want to change the plan 2 weeks before Christmas?

Does your boyfriend always cave to his sister's demands? I have a sister in law like this. I don't tolerate her antics - I'd rather stay at home with too much food.

They’ve never done anything like this before. I’m surprised and confused. My partner is working v.long hours at the mo and he’s just thinking that Christmas lunch is a whole load of work. He likes the idea of turning up and being fed, staying for an afternoon, then heading home again and putting the kids to bed. But you’re right, it just feels rude.

I don’t really know what the issue is for you. If you’re not bothered about the food going to waste then what’s the problem? Take a leaf out of your partner’s book and think of all the work you won’t have to do.

There a quiet voice in my head saying you’re right. I done a bit of work in preparation for our only celebratory meal at home over the holidays. Again nothing that will go to waste, just my time.