Need help with what to write

[PurpleOrchid42]

Not an AIBU, but more needing help composing a message. The message is to our neighbour, so I want to hit the perfect spot of fair and reasonable.

So... our neighbours behind us live in a large house (over £1m asking price) with a huge garden. One is a surgeon, the other a GP. We've lived next to them for 9 years. In that time they had a huge extension on the back of their house (probably 8 years ago). So I'm going to guess they're not short on cash. The access to their property is a drive that crosses a stream. Every winter, at some point, the stream floods, cutting off their access. So every year, at some point, they climb over a fence at the end of our drive to get out of their property. Probably 9 years ago, they actually asked if they could put a gate in our fence so they could use it when their drive floods. I said no, absolutely not, as I feel this would affect the value of our home/ability to sell and may have legal implications. Some years they remember to ask if it's okay for them to climb our fence and walk up and down our drive. Other years they don't. Today, one of them text my husband saying they had a coal and wood deliveries booked, which they'd probably have to cancel, but could we let their Ocado delivery be passed over the fence. My husband said yes to this, but wasn't asked about anything else. I saw the Ocado delivery happening around lunchtime. 2pm I go out to my car and there's a dog ramp, with a big paper sign on it saying 'Dogs Only' leaning on our fence on our side!!

So I'm annoyed. They have not asked if they can use our drive for general access, or to leave a ramp there. They have not, in 9 years, applied for planning to resolve the issue. They just expect to use our property.

So I want to write an email asking why there is a ramp on their drive, and asking how they intend to solve this problem long term, as we don't feel it's fair that they expect to use our property ad infinitum. What do you think I should say/how should I word this to avoid drama?

Thank you if you got this far!!!

Not at all! But I guess it kind of feels like they think they have a right or something 🤷🏼‍♀️

I cannot think of anything you could write, but agree that a conversation should be had along the lines of asking them to stop and make it very clear you will not grant access of any kind. The ramp would have been placed (ok lobbed) back into their garden.
If they fail to stop, have a look at your insurances for free legal advice/ cover. Sadly I suspect a legal letter telling they must stop doing this might be your only way to get through to them that your land is just that - your land !
I would have put those anti bird/burglar strips on top of the fence a long time ago.

presumably they could build a foot bridge over their stream for footpath access or apply for planning to do so if necessary. I’ve seen that at houses with similar issues with streams going past /under their driveways.

What's the dog ramp for? To help them climb the fence? Isn't it like a 6 foot border fence?

In the meantime,
"Hi Jane and Terry, would you mind popping round and removing the dog ramp? It's impeding the space I need to reverse my car in. Thanks!"

If it doesn't get moved within about 24 hours, I'd have no issue with lobbing it back over to their side. After all, they don't seem that bothered about invading your space with stuff!

Because it’s ridiculously invasive 🤷‍♀️

Please think a bit further ahead. First go to a lawyer and ask if, by allowing access, or not objecting to access, you are creating some sort of right here. It seems to me that they are potentially trespassing on your land, if you don’t give permission for them to cross it. If that is so, it will inform what you do. Whatever their ‘rights’, they should not be damaging anything that is yours: get advice about that too.

Once you understand properly what’s going on and the implications, you can decide whether and how to approach these people who seem entitled and whom you seem to resent: try to be objective, particularly as neighbour issues are some of the most deeply unpleasant and stressful matters around. Escalation has to be mentioned if you want to sell, so resolving this amicably is a good option. Once you are fully informed, then you can decide how to act.

I would be beyond any kind of nice email now tbh and would be going to a solicitor but then I just cannot stand this type of stuff. And it's not jealousy to expect people to respect boundaries. If OP was to fish in the neighbours stream for example, I think they would have something to say about it. Property boundaries and rights of access aren't just suggestions to be discarded at will. They are legally binding and the fact some posters on here think this is OK is baffling to me.

Take the dog ramp.

they will ask for it back- then you can say- oh right well that’s a problem as you’re in our way and using our drive/fence without permission.

Hi Bob and June.

Is this your ramp on my fence? Would you move it asap. Its in my way.

Also, the hawthorn has been damaged by you climbing over the fence every year. Could you find an alternative to this in future? Thanks.

I'd follow up with a solicitor letter of necessary.

It's very presumptuous of them and it sounds like they're getting a bit too comfortable with the current arrangement.

Thanks for all the helpful messages. I went out at 5.30pm, in the dark. The ramp was still there. So I picked it up and dropped it over. It was very heavy, heavier than I was expecting, so made a loud noise 😬. I felt quite annoyed when I saw it again, particularly because they were clearly intending to continue using it tomorrow, and because of the handwritten note, with exclamation mark, clearly aimed at my children so they wouldn't use it as a slide: 'Dogs only!'

The cheek of the exclamation mark!!

That was my first thought too. Much better in person, particularly since you’re clearly a very reasonable and amenable person.

Your last post confirms they are cf's!

She's way too reasonable and accommodating.

A 6 feet electrified cattle fence with a sign saying 'Cheeky cunt neighbours only!' would have gone up looooong ago were I living there.

😂

Ooh that DOGS ONLY! sign would have me spitting feathers.

Your neighbours are definitely CFs.

Without a diagram I imagine there’s a particular section they’re using to access your driveway. If it were me I’d park very, very close and parallel to it. No altercation, no solicitor consulted, “nothing to see here”. They’ll have to seek a solution then, won’t they, plus you’ve quite literally re established your personal boundary.

Plant more hawthorns. We call ours "the tree of hate" for its ability to snag everyone and anything with its giant thorns.

Send them a link for a 4x4 with a snorkel and a pair of waders. Chuck the dog ramp in the stream. That should get the message across.

Dear X,
Your continued use of pur driveway to access your property over the last x years have caused some damage to our property, and a ramp has now been erected without our consent. Whilst we understand that you have a flooding issue, we now feel a reasonable time has passed for you to arrange alternative access/flood defence measures that do not affect the property of others. As a result of this, our fence will no longer be available as an access point to your property.

Absolute CFs.

Unfortunately, we can't park on that bit, as that's part of the drive that the next door neighbours have right of access over, as they wouldn't be able to access their garage. Otherwise that would be a great solution.

I'd recommend blackthorn. The thorns are over an inch long and very sharp.

What's the difference between God and a doctor?

God doesn't think he's a doctor.

I appreciate how annoying this. I have to grant access through my back garden to 3 neighbouring properties - it’s only when work needs doing at the back of their properties, and mostly people ask me in advance. But occasionally plants get damaged, garden furniture etc gets moved around, or the lawn gets mangled.

However, I would find out exactly what the legal situation is before taking any action at all. They sound quite entitled and the worst case scenario is that the whole thing could escalate into a neighbour dispute, which you then have to declare if you ever want to sell your house ( I think).

Perhaps they are rather inconsiderate types and simply don’t realise how this affects you. Also, the ramp for the dogs! Very cheeky. Perhaps they put the notice on it because they were protecting themselves against children climbing it and falling off.

so..I would do something, but find out exactly what the legal position is first.