Is this an overstep or am I ovethinking ?

[Grapefruitstars]

Work in a close team. My manager announced she was getting married earlier this year. Low key party. I got engaged a few weeks later and were doing the same!! We've both been married before so are going to get married then have a party a few weeks later. We've been given a date 3 weeks before my managers wedding. Would you be a bit 🤔 if I did this ?

Are you inviting her and the team to your wedding? Are you invited to hers?

I see zero problem with dates that close! You're colleagues, not sisters stealing each others thunder. Especially with previous marriages too.

Personally, I couldn't care less. However, there are many threads on MN where people take it as a personal insult. If my manager/friend/distant relative got offended because our wedding days happened to coincide then I would just think to myself "oh, didn't realise she was one of those. What a shame" and would juts carry on as planned.

I probably wouldn't invite work as I'd say I don't want to step on toes and have 2 weddings for people to fork out for 3 weeks apart. Of course you can do as you please, eyebrows may be raised that you could have chosen other dates not so close to someone else on the team.

I wouldn't have the brain capacity to worry about this.

You do you.

I'd potentially think twice if it were my sister or something, but not a manager at work.

Who gave you a date? I have never been married, but I thought that was something you chose, based on availability?

It would be a bit odd to chose a date so close to a wedding, but if you aren't inviting people from work it's not really an issue.

Bluntly. Nobody will care. Crack on and enjoy yourself.

She's your boss, not your best mate or your sister.

Even if you get on really well, the timings of each other's weddings is really not something either of you need to be worrying about (assuming there won't be some complicated issues around both being on annual leave at the same time or something). Just carry on with your plans. Your wedding has nothing to do with your work, and neither does hers.

What do you mean you've been given a date, you chose your wedding date, you're not allocated it. Do you mean the venue you like has availability 3 weeks before the date of your managers wedding?

If it is the time of year you want at the place you want, go for it.

Well all be Invited to both weddings. We were aiming for the same time of year so it's just happened that way

I think it would be polite to let all of your colleagues know (if invited) that there is no pressure on them to attend if they feel the two celebrations are too close together. It would take the pressure off them feeling like they have to choose which one to attend if both are not feasible.

Otherwise, I can see no reason for your manager to feel put out.

The venue gave available dates. Thats how it works.

Ah ok! You've been given a few dates, one of which is three weeks before - it read to me like you had been given that one specific date. I understand now.