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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think you don't park on the drive?

64 replies

sunshine080 · 11/12/2023 11:53

I don't know if this is just a me thing or not so I'm posting here for opinion.

If you were to go to someone's house who you know has two cars, one of which is not on the drive when you arrive, would you park on there without the person telling you to? As in, would you think "the other car might arrive while I'm there and want to park on the drive" or would you not give it any thought? For context, there is on street parking right outside of the house.

DP's barber and our cleaner do this and it's really irritating when I/DP have only popped out to the shop.

YABU - I'd park on the drive because why should I have to park on the road
YANBU - I would assume the other car might be coming back while I was there and would leave the space for them

OP posts:
Santaiswashinghissleigh · 11/12/2023 11:55

Cleaner here.. Never park on a drive unless told to do so!!

StarlightLime · 11/12/2023 11:55

Put up a big sign saying "No staff to park here", and then make them enter through the tradesman's entrance.

Theeternalrocksbeneath · 11/12/2023 11:58

Well, have you asked them not to park on the drive?

As far as I’m concerned, a space on our drive is up for grabs by whoever comes first. When our cleaner comes, even if my husband has popped out for a nanosecond, she parks on the drive and my husband happily parks on the street until she’s gone.

In fact, if we’re expecting someone then one of us will often purposefully park on the street to allow them to park on our drive!

I’m not saying my way is right and that you’re wrong, just that we do view this very differently!

Original poster
sunshine080 · 11/12/2023 11:59

For reference, I'm not just referring to anyone you might be paying to come over, I also mean a friend/relative's house (assuming you don't know for certain that the other car isn't at work/out for a long time).

OP posts:
Talipesmum · 11/12/2023 12:00

If there’s street parking right outside, then it’s not a problem when the other car gets home? I think I’d rather give the easier parking to the guest than the household member, unless I’d pre-asked the visitor to park somewhere else cos the other car would be getting back to unload lots of stuff or similar.

HesDeadBenYouCanStopNow · 11/12/2023 12:01

If invited, or have an appointment at a house I'd park on the drive unless asked not to.

At my home if I invited some one to my house I'd expect them to park on my drive and we'd rearrange things as necessary to make sure there's space for everyone to park

Original poster
sunshine080 · 11/12/2023 12:02

Theeternalrocksbeneath · 11/12/2023 11:58

Well, have you asked them not to park on the drive?

As far as I’m concerned, a space on our drive is up for grabs by whoever comes first. When our cleaner comes, even if my husband has popped out for a nanosecond, she parks on the drive and my husband happily parks on the street until she’s gone.

In fact, if we’re expecting someone then one of us will often purposefully park on the street to allow them to park on our drive!

I’m not saying my way is right and that you’re wrong, just that we do view this very differently!

We haven't, but our cleaner hasn't had opportunity to do it until today. Because that's two people who do it, I'm now starting to question if I'm just overly considerate and am actually the one with the unusual opinion. I've never had a driveway before either.

OP posts:
Keilagh · 11/12/2023 12:03

I’ve never had someone come to my house who didn’t park on my drive.

tescocreditcard · 11/12/2023 12:03

Can your partner not park in the street and walk to his house when the barber comes once every 6 weeks.? Is he disabled?

Rudolphtherednoseddog · 11/12/2023 12:03

I ask before I park on anyone’s driveway (beyond close family who I know are expecting us and have spare driveway spaces).

But I’d also move to make space on my driveway for someone like a cleaner, who might be carrying a load of stuff or to be more welcoming to my visitors. The only one I ever get cross about is the Royal Mail van that parks on my driveway, delivers my parcel, then leaves his van there while he goes and delivers everywhere else on the street.

AngelontopoftheTree · 11/12/2023 12:09

Off topic but..... your barber comes to your house??? How often is that?

BananaPyjamaLlama · 11/12/2023 12:16

I would never park on someones drive unless invited to do so. If it hadnt been mentioned as a topic I would always park on the road. Even as a friend visiting.
YANBU

Mumof2teens79 · 11/12/2023 12:22

Very much depends on the street.
Does the cleaner have a lot to carry?
If they both do this is it because your OH told them too?

FIL house, no real on street parking, although no restrictions road is not suitable to park on....park on drive
MIL house....one of those winding cul de sacs with narrow pavements, where not obvious where to park if not on drive...park on drive
Parents house....Nice wide road but if one car is on road I will park on drive.

Clevs · 11/12/2023 12:22

I'd park on the drive but then ask the homeowner if it's ok, when I go in if anyone else is due back etc. If they are then I'll move my car unless they say otherwise

HesDeadBenYouCanStopNow · 11/12/2023 12:24

I'm now starting to question if I'm just overly considerate and am actually the one with the unusual opinion. I've never had a driveway before either.

I actually think it's a bit rude to expect people not to park on your driveway. It does sound a bit like you don't think they're good enough to be allowed on the drive. But can see your reasoning that people should just assume that they can't because one of the home owners might need it. But I think you're expecting a bit much

Ellie1015 · 11/12/2023 12:24

If i know someone is coming i normally leave a space on the drive for them.

mondaytosunday · 11/12/2023 12:32

I make it clear to friends and tradespeople the parking situation; yes fine to park on driveway but also to actively tell them not to if it's not convenient.

InTheRainOnATrain · 11/12/2023 12:34

Just tell them to park on the street in future if it’s that much of a problem! But the barber has got to be what 20 minutes no more than once a month?! Has there been a clash with you arriving home often enough for this to be a thing? The cleaner probably has a lot of clients where the second car is at work all day and they might also favour the driveway if they bring their own products and hoover because it’s easier for them to carry it.

Granted I don’t know that many people with driveways as we live in London but those that do have them, like my parents, it’s the visitor that must take the driveway because the road is permitted and only the homeowner’s car(s) have the permit.

MrsSlocombesCat · 11/12/2023 12:35

When I was a cleaner I never parked on anyone’s drive. When I switched to ironing and collecting and delivering then I would park on the drive if there was nowhere else to park, had quite a few of those out in the sticks.

BarbaraofSeville · 11/12/2023 12:35

YANBU.

I get hire cars delivered frequently because my employer thinks that endless pissing about with car admin and shuffling around is better than providing company cars like a normal business.

When the cars are delivered they could:

a. park on our drive and inevitably block in the car that we want to use (I am not supposed to use the car until the hire period starts, which can be many hours later) or takes the space of whichever one of us is not at home

b. park on the footpath outside the front of the house, so blocking the footpath and the road as this is where it is very narrow

or:

c. park on the massive empty paved area at the side of the house where there is usually loads of space and no restrictions.

Despite me asking many, many times, they always pick a. or b. and never c. Angry

GotMooMilk · 11/12/2023 12:38

How can anyone care so much about parking? I find the mn obsession with parking absolutely bizarre. Just park in the nearest place? I'll leave my car anyway it's a car not my first born child.

Ponderingwindow · 11/12/2023 12:43

I move my car in advance for any worker who is going to need to carry equipment. So a cleaner, plumber, etc. they all find my drive open and available. My car is parked elsewhere. I just thought was common sense.

redalex261 · 11/12/2023 12:47

I would normally park on the street, mainly because it’s easier than reversing in or out of an unfamiliar driveway into an unfamiliar road. Before anyone gets sniffy I know you are supposed to reverse in and drive out forwards if no posh turning circle in the drive 🤪.

The other issue is people get very exercised about parking in general - if all the the mumping and moaning about folk parking in “their” spot in the street from non-drive owners is anything to go on I’m sure many of those lucky enough to have a drive may well be irritated about a guest parking in their driveway. So I wouldn’t use the drive unless directed to do so. All of it seems weird to me.

My sister tried to tell me not to park in front of her neighbour’s house because they moaned about it! Ignored. My friends’ neighbour actually runs out of the house and moves his car (sometimes as little as twenty feet) into the spot immediately outside his front window as soon as it becomes free because he is a complete saddo. Weird.

tuttifuckinfruity · 11/12/2023 12:48

Surprised by these responses.

I'm with you, OP.

I wouldn't park on the drive unless a) it was massive and room for multiple cars to park and manoeuvre or b) I'd been explicitly told to.

It comes up a lot when visiting my parents. Two cars, two car driveway. I pull up and park on street regardless of what cars are in driveway, because if there's only one car there, changes are one car will be coming back soon.

Why would I park in the drive which would then necessitate my parent having to park on street and then move it to the drive once I'd left?

Talipesmum · 11/12/2023 12:51

I think when you’re not the home owner, it’s not always immediately obvious where the best or preferred place is to park. Even if it’s free parking in the street right outside, some people will say “oh don’t park there, Bob next door always puts his horse box there on a Tuesday afternoon” or “can you move up half a car length because the people across the road get twitchy about it being opposite their drive”. Or the handy patch next to the house which appears perfectly fine to park on might be someone else’s property, or a space that has to be left clear for some obscure reason. The only place which is definitely ok for that particular house is the drive. So if someone is always going round from house to house that’s just an easier route to take (and it’s why I’d leave the drive free if expecting guests).

Every house they go to is going to have different rules and norms, and they’re likely not consistent. Here, you can see half the people saying “oh I would always leave the drive free for expected visitors” and the other half saying “what a cheek, visitors on the drive”.

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