Heavy footed

[ondaytwothousand]

Can someone who is 'heavy footed' learn to tread lightly?

Context: I've just moved into a wonderful flat and live above an elderly couple, my best friend visits regularly and is a real stomper - can she tread more lightly? I have no problem talking to her about it but wanted a wider view on whether heavy footed people can tread more lightly, or am i being unreasonable; it's just the way they walk and they don't have control of it?

No, I’m heavy footed and tend to bang into things. Nothing i can do about it, but get her to take her shoes off in your flat.

Yes, you just have to think about how you walk. A lot of people who have never lived beneath someone else are just oblivious rather than unable to learn.

Have you had a complaint from the people downstairs?

It's probably less to do with being 'heavy footed' and more the structure of the building, which you can't do a lot about.

If it's a converted house for example it's unlikely to be well built for noise insulation.

Take off shoes and make sure all the rooms are carpeted. Those are the best things you can do really.

Yes! At least, they can if you explain to them and they try!
I read as a child about indigenous peoples walking silently, placing part of the foot down then rolling their weight onto it gradually.

You practise slowly and thoughtfully, then it becomes automatic.

DH isn’t interested- it’s one of many things he ‘just can’t do’- so he stomps through the house making it shake. He’s recently learned that he can do a star jump, if he actually watches and copies. He’d assumed that as he couldn’t do one instinctively, then he couldn’t do one.

Argh, these people who assume they have no conscious control over their bodies.

Stompers really piss me off. Its just another form of entitled behaviour.

I used to be a stomper and am much better now, 18 year old DD hasn't got there yet!! It's about how you carry yourself and can be learned.

Just explain the sound proofing is awful so she needs to sneak around the steps and your flat.

That's the thing, I don't think they would complain, they'd probably just suffer it and I hate that thought.

It’s specifically about using the joints in your legs and feet- ball joint, ankle, knee. DH straight leg slaps the ground and straight arm slaps doors to get through them.

Possibly yes, but if it’s caused by something like dyspraxia it might be more difficult for them.

My dad half stomps and half shuffles because he has lost most of the feeling in his left foot, so he stomps with his right foot, drags his left a bit and then usually falls over a table or something and swears 😃 so it could be worse!

A podiatrist has tried to help me walk heel to toe, but I just can't do it. I do my best to walk quietly and will take my shoes off at others houses.

Have you tried outside to inside rather than toe to heel, @Mabelface?

I’ve no issue with people who have a go and find it hard. DS1 was diagnosed with dyspraxia (though we now think ASD is more likely). He can do it when he pays attention, but obviously doesn’t pay attention all the time.

It’s a useful skill for several reasons- being able to walk quietly into a situation where you are late, avoiding noise nuisance to people below you etc.

It’s got to be better on your joints too- it must be tiring slapping the floor with your feet and not absorbing that shock anywhere, surely?

I wear shoes with good shock absorption in them! I've walked this way for 53 years now so I don't think it's going to change! I'm autistic with ADHD and hyper mobile joints.

Could you maybe do something like QiGong or Tai Chi which is very focussed careful, meditative movement? It makes you more aware of your body, the small movements etc. With practice I can imagine it would seep into daily life somewhat as you would be more aware of your body in general.

I think it would be a bit peculiar to invite a friend round and then ask them to adopt a completely different walk while they were there.

She's my best friend/we're like sisters - I could literally ask her to slide like she's skating and she'd be fine with it! 😂 Just wondered if it is possible for a stomper to be lighter on their feet.

I guess it depends why people stomp. If there are physical reasons behind it like dyspraxia or hyper-mobility it may be harder than if it's just habit.

I think you should ask her to slide like she's skating, that would be a fun evening.

I think it would be difficult to get them to default to being light footed, but they can probably walk more softly when making a conscious effort (the same way you can be much more quiet when getting up and trying not to wake your sleeping partner). It depends how comfortable you are raising it with her. Slippers could help dampen the noise of heavy footsteps if you were looking for a solution.

Realistically how big of an issue is it? How often is she at yours? How much is she walking around? Is it unsociable hours? Anyone living in flats does so with the understanding that you deal with a certain amount of noise from other people.

Get in a stack of these in different sizes. Store them by the door and ask guests to change into them. Much harder to stomp in padded slippers, and you can just throw them in the washing machine afterwards so you always have clean ones ready for the next guest. Pretty standard in Scandinavia.

https://www.temu.com/uk/soft-plush-cozy-ribbed-corduroy-house-slippers-anti-skid-slip-on-shoes-indoor-for-men-winter-shoes-g-601099523413476.html

Shoes off should solve this issue, unless she weighs 20 stone.

Good shout! Thank you.

To the PP It's not the biggest problem, she's round most days. Occasionally we go out and she stays over and I'm less keen on the stomping past midnight.

It's interesting reading the posts about other stompers - she's not a full flat stomper it's more a very heavily planted heal! Haha.

We've been friends for years and when I had a house with those wooden under carpet floorboards she'd stomp so hard the pictures would rattle on the sideboards. She's oblivious - I don't really mind, just don't want the lovely couple below to be disturbed.

And no diagnosed movement issues, but never been able to walk in heels...possible connected.

She's no where near 20 stone! I'd describe her walk as ...purposeful.

You are such a considerate neighbour. I'm sure they appreciate your thoughtfulness (if they knew about it!)

Carpets and socks are the way to go, and I suppose you can make your friend aware when she comes in that the floors are thin and people below can hear you.

She might then be more aware - but I wouldn't say anything else after that if she carries on stomping around - as it can be hard to change the way you walk!

DP is heavy footed. Just heavy handed in all respects, he throws himself in to chairs, kicks walls, often trips up steps as he doesn’t lift his feet.

He is a black belt in karate so he can be light on his feet, has mastered fine movement… but in real life if you are him to go careful on his feet, the difference is made up elsewhere ie he will bang his head on the door frame or fail to navigate a table.