To think I don’t need this ‘friend’?

[EmptyYoghurtPot]

A couple of years ago an old school friend got back in touch and we became friends again. But I’ve noticed that she is always critical of me and putting me down. (My mum says she always did that when we were children). For example she says that having 5 cats is selfish and I’m just using them as baby substitutes! Whilst I’ll admit I’m the local crazy cat lady I do have a DC, 3 step DC and 6 grandchildren so I’m not exactly lonely. She is critical of how I dress and how I do my hair as she says I’m trying to look young. I put the Christmas Tree up too early. I’m trying to be trendy by swooping meat for Quorn a couple of nights a week. The list goes on.
DH says bin her off but she’s recently divorced and I was so happy when she got in touch. Thoughts?

You either need to be direct or let her go. In the log run you wont be happier overlooking this and it's happening a lot already, she's hardly on best behaviour.

Perhaps just vocalise your feelings and say "why are you putting down my choice" or "that's a bit hurtful" and when she inevitable says it's a joke follow up with "I actually don't find it funny. Perhaps we just clash a little more as adults and dont share the same sense on humour so go easy on me" and if she carries on just stop meeting or texting her. She will know why.

She’s an energy taker not an energy giver. Not what you need in a friend.

Life is too short to put up with crap people.

it depends because you haven't made clear how YOU feel when she says these things - do they upset you or do you not really care? You sound quite confident and happy with yourself from your post so if you recognise she's being bitchy but the comments don't really affect you, you don't have to dump her just because our dh/dm/randoms on MN tell you to.

If YOU want to be friends with her (as you said you were really happy when she got back in touch) despite this 1 negative thing then do so - feel free to say something if the comments get to you, but if they don't just laugh at them and see them as expressions of her insecurity and nothing about you - most people have at least 1 annoying thing they do, if she has other good points then don't cut off your nose to spite your face.

Obviously though if the comments mean you don't enjoy spending time with her then stop. You don't have to stick with her because of past history/you feel sorry for her.

I'm guessing her husband instigated the divorce.

Don't be this cow's emotional punchbag, she's taking all her bitterness out on you.

Oh, just tell her to fuck off. She sounds absolutely horrible!

If you’re in two minds and are considering creating distance, could you gently let her know your friendship boundaries/expectations? And give her the chance to adapt her approach?