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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to raise a formal grievance?

20 replies

Dilemmaville · 10/12/2023 23:02

I’ll try to be succinct - colleagues in a different team made a big change without consulting internally that already is and will continue to impact on my ability to do my job effectively and efficiently. This has/will affect others and we have all had a moan, but I’m the only one who has openly said that the change will cause significant grief. The change will be very expensive for the company in both short and long term, plus we will be non-compliant in a highly regulated industry for several months leading to genuine vulnerabilities in safety. We’d originally heard that they were dabbling in this area, so had a meeting to say please by mindful of x, y, z because they go hand in hand with a, b, c and we mustn’t do anything to jeopardise meeting the new regs deadline at end ‘23. We became aware that they’d ignored our warnings in September and I’ve been waving red flags since, written Briefs for my boss, meetings with all stakeholders etc. We’re no further forward to mitigating the ‘damage’, it is incredibly frustrating, not least because the colleagues that made the change have been arse-covering big style. Last week in yet another internal meeting, a senior Legal manager asked a colleague to summarise the history, he replied that he would put it into an email. When he wrote the email he said x, y, z are significant issues, Dilemmaville knows more about the impact on her work of x, y, z, she will need to explain. I wrote the history from perspective of my specialism. The next day, the Director of the team that made the changes, wrote a scathing message to me, copying in lots of others, saying that they’d had to make the changes because I’d been doing something wrong and that the company was vulnerable as a result. He asserted that I’d been allowed to break rules and go unchallenged as if I was a maverick, he said he didn’t know how that had happened, but they’d sorted it out so never mind about the difficult interim period of the change, it will all work out for the best. The language was patronising and the content was full of factual errors, none of it was true. The truth is that I had not been doing anything wrong, there was no behaviour outside of rules or regulations and I have my boss and many colleagues to back me up on that. He was basically gaslighting that the change was doing everyone a favour because I’d made the company vulnerable and the change was best for the company. He was doing it to cover up his team’s incompetence in not listening to our warnings or doing any internal consultations. I am very angry about this slur on my reputation, I have not only done nothing wrong, but other companies look to ours to see how it is done, I am well known and have an excellent reputation. I was not the only one to moan, the moaning was entirely justified. I was so angry about the email I sent it to my boss to ask if I could write a rebuttal (we normally avoid email spats). He spoke to the other Director (they are mates) and he admitted he’d done it to be spiteful (wtf?) because I’d written the history. My boss defended me, and received an apology, but I think the apology should be made to me and my boss agrees. I’d like a full apply and I’d like to copy a rebuttal to the distribution of the scathing email. WWYD? I am currently minded to raise a personal grievance, but I realise that will blow up everything. If I ignore it and let the lies stand unchallenged, mud will stick. If I raise a grievance, my card will be marked so I’ll need to leave before I’m pushed. I just want my unblemished reputation back, none of this is fair, I don’t deserve any of it.

OP posts:
sunights · 10/12/2023 23:52

This sounds like a horrible situation. I went through something similar but not too high profile a couple of years ago. I started applying for other roles as soon as I realised what was going on and although finding and transitioning into a new role was a hassle but I am happier as do not miss the toxic culture but know they still miss me and my work ethic. YANBU but revenge is a dish best served cold so if you can get out of there without having to raise a grievance then do.

SillyBilly1993 · 11/12/2023 00:09

I’m sorry that this has happened. If you can resolve things informally without resorting to a grievance then I think that works be better, as you say raising a grievance is really a last resort because it can damage your career.

At the moment this Director has made serious allegations about you in writing to a wide copy list. Leaving those allegations without a written rebuttal is unacceptable and puts both you and your seniors at risk if something goes wrong in the future and this email is used as evidence.

Could you ask your manager to write a firm rebuttal in writing which has been agreed with you? Or could they summarise their conversation with the Director in their response?

If not then I think your issue is with your manager as much as it is with Director. They are putting you in a very difficult position professionally, their private conversation with the Director is no use to you.

Redsheeps · 11/12/2023 00:17

If this is you succinct, I hate to think what the whole story is! Vent on mumsnet and chill out
If you’re not compliant in a highly regulated industry then report to the regulators anon.

ChilliCheeser · 11/12/2023 00:24

Is this a whistle-blower scenario ?

Dilemmaville · 11/12/2023 00:48

I feel absolutely livid that I’ve been put into a no win situation. My boss is senior in rank to the Director but not in his chain of command. I think my boss regrets telling me that the intention was to be spiteful towards me, but he agrees that the email was bang out of order. He hasn’t said please don’t raise a grievance, but I’ve said I want a clarification email that retracts the wrong assertions and apologises to me with all the distribution copied in as before. If I don’t get a retraction then my reputation is damaged and I’ll have to move on out of the business under a false cloud. If I raise a grievance, it will be stressful, detract from the real issue and the rest of my very busy workload and I’ll no doubt be pushed out sooner or later even if I ‘win’. I can’t stress enough that the only thing I have done is to be obviously annoyed that the change was done without consultation and took away our ability to stay compliant, I am by no means the only person this affects and all have been equally aggravated but it was me that wrote the history (by request).

OP posts:
Dilemmaville · 11/12/2023 00:49

I feel absolutely livid that I’ve been put into a no win situation. My boss is senior in rank to the Director but not in his chain of command. I think my boss regrets telling me that the intention was to be spiteful towards me, but he agrees that the email was bang out of order. He hasn’t said please don’t raise a grievance, but I’ve said I want a clarification email that retracts the wrong assertions and apologises to me with all the distribution copied in as before. If I don’t get a retraction then my reputation is damaged and I’ll have to move on out of the business under a false cloud. If I raise a grievance, it will be stressful, detract from the real issue and the rest of my very busy workload and I’ll no doubt be pushed out sooner or later even if I ‘win’. I can’t stress enough that the only thing I have done is to be obviously annoyed that the change was done without consultation and took away our ability to stay compliant, I am by no means the only person this affects and all have been equally aggravated but it was me that wrote the history (by request).

OP posts:
ChilliCheeser · 11/12/2023 01:00

It might be a case that the senior management know about bigger future changes that you are not aware of. So there may be a reason for what is going on.

I don't know your work history

If changes are occurring, you could be going towards things like; a merger, redundancies, the company closing, out sourcing, use of robot technology or a combination of some of these

Sleep on it

I am sure someone with union or HR experience can offer more advice

WashItTomorrow · 11/12/2023 01:01

I’d want to raise the grievance.

Outliers · 11/12/2023 01:06

I’ll try to be succinct

A TL/DR version probably needed still

tachycardigan · 11/12/2023 02:04

Absolutely respond in writing. A behind the scenes apology to your Director is not good enough, it is your reputation that has been maligned.

tachycardigan · 11/12/2023 02:05

Outliers · 11/12/2023 01:06

I’ll try to be succinct

A TL/DR version probably needed still

I must admit it took me 3 attempts to read the OP, due to the wall of text and no paragraphs.

Hipnotised · 11/12/2023 05:55

Union rep here: I get you're angry but it's not grievance level.

The best thing would have been clear, calm rebuttal in short bullet points.on each of his allegations to him, his boss amd your boss.

Can you still do that?

Dilemmaville · 11/12/2023 12:08

Thanks @Hipnotised I appreciate that, I’d pretty much decided that that’s my next move if I don’t get a ‘public’ retraction. My boss is meeting with the Director right now, he’s known him a long time and is going to give him the opportunity to write an email along the lines of “I now know that Dilemmaville did not act outside of a formal contract or put the company at risk at any time, for that I apologise unreservedly to Dilemmaville. I know that we are industry leaders in x field as a direct result of X’s & Dilemmaville’s expertise and dedication.” He gets to save a bit of face and my excellent reputation is restored.

OP posts:
ImCamembertTheBigCheese · 11/12/2023 12:58

Hopefully that works for you. Very difficult situation to be in. I would have been tempted to reply all and correct each and very mistake he made without emotion.

Atethehalloweenchocs · 11/12/2023 13:07

I hope you get the apology you deserve. Please update us. I agree grievance is the nuclear option, but if you dont get an apology, that may be the way you need to go.

Dilemmaville · 11/12/2023 21:46

Update: after discussions with my boss the Director wrote an email to everyone saying that he hadn’t meant anyone to interpret that he was blaming anyone. It was weak, gaslighting and didn’t clear my name. With my boss’s approval I wrote a very measured response that said I wanted to clarify some points and that I wanted to work to tackle the issues at hand. It’s a compromise. I feel that I’ve made clear that I didn’t do anything wrong at any time, nor am I responsible for the changes being introduced clumsily without internal consultation or even consideration of the wider picture.
It’s off my chest for now. It has fundamentally changed how I feel about the organisation though, it seems we have values that only count when it suits.
Thanks everyone for your thoughts and sage advice. Sorry my initial post was just a spew of consciousness. Ilegiitimi non carborundum (I know this is nonsense!)

OP posts:
sunights · 12/12/2023 00:34

I am glad you are out of it and would still advocate you getting applications for roles elsewhere and moving on. You handled this gracefully and deserve better.

ImCamembertTheBigCheese · 12/12/2023 15:09

Glad it is sort of resolved but you are right, they wanted it all to hush up and go away rather than have your back and do the right thing. As PP said, brush up your CV. Good luck.

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 12/12/2023 15:51

SillyBilly1993 · 11/12/2023 00:09

I’m sorry that this has happened. If you can resolve things informally without resorting to a grievance then I think that works be better, as you say raising a grievance is really a last resort because it can damage your career.

At the moment this Director has made serious allegations about you in writing to a wide copy list. Leaving those allegations without a written rebuttal is unacceptable and puts both you and your seniors at risk if something goes wrong in the future and this email is used as evidence.

Could you ask your manager to write a firm rebuttal in writing which has been agreed with you? Or could they summarise their conversation with the Director in their response?

If not then I think your issue is with your manager as much as it is with Director. They are putting you in a very difficult position professionally, their private conversation with the Director is no use to you.

This.

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 12/12/2023 15:51

Oh ok. Should have rtft! Glad that it's resolved now!

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