Been with my partner for 17 years.
We both had young children when we met. He had 4, I had 1. He quickly went from having his kids every other weekend and one night in the week to one full time and 3 nearly half of the time. They are grown up now but only see their mum a couple of times a year, their relationship with her is very strained. I'm mentioning this so there is an understanding that my role hasn't been a hands off step mum.
Dp has done less and less around the house as the years have gone on. He's very hard working and devotes nearly all his time to work including evenings and weekends. When he's not working he's asleep on the sofa or we go out.
When the kids were young, I worked 4 days a week and studied on my day off. I worked locally to keep the commute short and didn't progress in my career and looking back I had very little time for myself. I paid for a third of the household bills and he paid more towards holidays or days out than me.
A few years ago, I was "lucky" enough to inherit quite well. I am now in the position of working around 3 days per week on average (it's ad hoc).
We live in a very large house that comes with DP job. There are several acres of garden. We have 3 adult children currently living with us - temporarily. I feel they pull their weight enough. We have a cleaner who cleans the main rooms but doesn't do a very thorough job and only equates to half the house anyway, to be honest, but I like and trust her.
DP mainly does the washing up and absolutely nothing else. Wouldn't think to even throw out of date food out of the fridge or open a curtain let alone do a load of washing. I pay for half of everything.
I feel lucky I don't have to work if I don't want to. I feel lucky I have financial freedom. I do, however, feel that DP gets to do nothing at home whilst also not having to contribute financially more than half. I also think he has lost respect for me as my "work" is spending hours doing things that make his life easier! He never shows any interest in the work I do outside or inside the home. We seem to spend a lot of time discussing his work though.
So, AIBU?