I have very fond memories of putting up the Christmas decorations when I was little. The smell of tinsel, listening to Christmas songs, Dad having to try every bulb until he found the one that needed replacing. Me and my siblings all getting into the Christmas spirit in a similar way, having fun.
We've tried to create the same for our kids but it has backfired most years, but in particular this year. Six years age difference between ours - ds just turned 13, dd just turned 7. They hate each other and argue over everything - and I mean everything. 13yo wanted the same stocking that dd likes to have. I asked him to back off because he no longer believes, but she does. Eye roll, that's when things started to decline.
We've got loads of handmade decorations which they've both made over the years. She's a bit sensitive because he has more than her, so we've explained that's because he's been around 6 years longer and made a new one every year. He began winding her up on purpose "oh look, that one's mine too, I'll put that on the tree" while waving it in her face all goady. She starts to get irritated.
Then she takes her big sister's bauble out of the box (she's 23 but they all still have named baubles that we put on the tree). I'd removed the string to put new string on it. Ds pipes up "oh look, you've broken it!" to his little sister. At which point she goes nuts because she's had enough and she hadn't broken it. And then dh finally snaps and loses his patience. I was so fed up with the whole situation, I took myself off for a walk.
Come back an hour later, peace restored. The next argument is over which Christmas film we watch together first (our tradition is that we put up the decorations and then sit down as a family to watch a Christmas film. I ended up suggesting we draw lots to make it fair, and that includes mine and dh's choices (all age appropriate). We draw out dh's choice Miracle on 34th Street. Both kids muck about and argue the whole way through until ds decides to take himself off upstairs because he no longer wants to watch it.
It shouldn't be this hard, should it? I see all these lovely photos and messages of everyone else's nice, normal families getting on so well with one another, giving and taking in equal measure. And then there's our lot, arguing over every tiny detail, fighting for attention from me and dh. They both have adhd so maybe this is normal for ND siblings but it makes me so sad.
I've got quite cross with ds, told him he's been very selfish today and ruined what should have been a nice day. If he's too old for all the traditions then that's fine, I'll do it myself with dh next year. But then dd misses out or we do it with her and ds will feel pushed aside. I can't win.