NC for this
I feel like tell adverts make this worse. I understand a lot of it is performative but seeing so many happy families, gifts, food, big jolly gatherings and cosy homes impacts my mood.
And to think, there's month of this to go.
There's something about this month that makes me feel even more stuck in the present and in the past.
If you were to look at someone's Instagram, it's easy to look away.
It's impossible to step away from telly, radio, relatives (relatives one doesn't particularly like even), Hallmark films and just this general vibe how everyone seems to be ON ON ON all the time.
It's similar to birthday (I also dread birthdays), as if this time becomes insidiously less about being jolly and kind but more glaringly obvious what one doesn't have.
There's no loving family or a mistletoe romance or even something or someone to look forward to.
Normally I wouldn't feel like I'd be this glass half-empty kind of person but it's forced on me, especially starting earlier and earlier every year.
For me Christmas and December are times where I feel even more
overwhelmed by life.
At the same time, I feel trapped and detached by it.
Does anybody else feel like this?
Thank you for reading this far.