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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Ski Trip Anxiety!

62 replies

Jacks35 · 10/12/2023 15:33

First of all, I feel like I already know I'm BU 🙈 - but I can't shake it.

DD is going on a ski trip in Feb to Italy from Essex by coach the ENTIRE way. 23 hrs in total, which we found out last week. When we signed up for a place the details weren't explicit and I just assumed they would be flying and DD was desperate to go. DD of course is still desperate to go and I'm by no means projecting my anxieties btw she doesn't know how I feel - just sitting over here in a corner quietly rocking! Jokes aside, I really am in a mess over it the closer it's getting!

I want her to have an amazing experience, but coach travel frightens the life out of me as you only ever hear the bad. The weather, the drivers, there's so much at play - all before they even get to resort, then it's a new set of worries. The school have been great in reassuring us parents - 3 drivers in total, regular breaks scheduled (hence the duration) but I can't help but worry myself silly.

I suppose I want you all to tell me iabu, that your children have been on ski trips on coaches, were safe & had a wonderful time. Any tips on staying sane for the duration of DD'S trip would also be welcome x

OP posts:
amylou8 · 10/12/2023 15:56

It would be my idea of hell too, but I did a similar length coach journey when I was 18 without a second thought. Yes a broken nights sleep, but you can handle that when you're young. She'll be with her friends and it will probably add to the whole experience. It's the teachers you should be feeling sorry for!!

rookiemere · 10/12/2023 15:56

I honestly think you need to get some counselling to overcome your fears about this and possibly other perfectly normal things that your DD will do as part of growing up.

contactus · 10/12/2023 15:56

you had to make the first payment before knowing any of the detail?

contactus · 10/12/2023 15:58

rookiemere · 10/12/2023 15:56

I honestly think you need to get some counselling to overcome your fears about this and possibly other perfectly normal things that your DD will do as part of growing up.

do you have children?

driving is very normal for example,, doesn’t mean many of us don’t get anxious about our teenagers out driving.

Not you though @rookiemere !

Nottodaty · 10/12/2023 16:00

Both my daughters have done it at secondary school- yes it was a worry - both had fun & have memories from it!

It’s still an expensive trip but to put on flights as well would be make it even more out of reach. The coach companies are set up for this usually a couple of drivers as well.

Just tell your daughter not to sit near the toilet - both my girls years apart said that was the worse bit (smell and state of it!)

rookiemere · 10/12/2023 16:02

@contactus I do indeed have a teenage DC and some of the things he does do scare me a bit, for example driving ( recently passed his test) in the dark when it's raining. But it's my job as a DP to manage my own reactions to allow him to experience new things.

My DM wrapped me in cotton wool when I was growing up a lot due to her own anxieties, I will not let that happen to DS.

contactus · 10/12/2023 16:02

rookiemere · 10/12/2023 16:02

@contactus I do indeed have a teenage DC and some of the things he does do scare me a bit, for example driving ( recently passed his test) in the dark when it's raining. But it's my job as a DP to manage my own reactions to allow him to experience new things.

My DM wrapped me in cotton wool when I was growing up a lot due to her own anxieties, I will not let that happen to DS.

where does the Op anything about her “reaction” aside from posting about her anxiety on a. anonymous chat forum

Her DD no doubt has no idea!

contactus · 10/12/2023 16:03

My DM wrapped me in cotton wool when I was growing up a lot due to her own anxieties, I will not let that happen to DS.

The Op has no intention of stopping her daughter going

Original poster
Jacks35 · 10/12/2023 16:03

We did indeed, a deposit to secure a place. It was only offered out to 40 students and at that point we just knew it was skiing in Italy and that it would be in Feb but no fine details like travel arrangements and dates etc. ridiculous really!

OP posts:
contactus · 10/12/2023 16:04

I want her to have an amazing experience

@rookiemere does that sound like the OP is wrapping her up and stopping her from going?

contactus · 10/12/2023 16:07

Jacks35 · 10/12/2023 16:03

We did indeed, a deposit to secure a place. It was only offered out to 40 students and at that point we just knew it was skiing in Italy and that it would be in Feb but no fine details like travel arrangements and dates etc. ridiculous really!

wow. At ours they said you had to respond to say whether or not you wanted to go on list of accepting

then details sent out

then first come first serve to accept with deposit

what happens if you put deposit down but the final cost was way above budget?

ReviewingTheSituation · 10/12/2023 16:07

Just be glad she's starting from Essex! I did 2 trips from school (1 to Austria and 1 to Switzerland), and we started from west Devon! So that's over 5 hours just to get to Dover!
I do remember being very glad to be off the coach at the other end, but we all survived, and went back the following year, so it can't have been that bad! And coach travel now is a million times more comfortable than it was in the late 1980s.

Poppysmom22 · 10/12/2023 16:07

This is what we did when we went on school ski trips. Italy Austria France all totally fine year after year

Original poster
Jacks35 · 10/12/2023 16:10

@contactus you'd think all schools would do it like that, makes far more sense - they said at the time it would have been returned and then that space offered out to the next on the list.

OP posts:
Original poster
Jacks35 · 10/12/2023 16:12

Loving all the positive experiences! It makes me feel a lot better. Thank you! X

OP posts:
Fulshaw · 10/12/2023 16:14

As someone else said, even if she flew, they’d have to get a coach up into the mountains.

It seems a strange thing to fixate on but that’s the nature of anxiety - it’s not logical, otherwise we’d all be able to beat it at the drop of a hat.

She’s going to do lots and lots of things in her life and there’s nothing about a coach trip that’s more risky than anything else, despite what your brain is trying to tell you.

contactus · 10/12/2023 16:15

Jacks35 · 10/12/2023 16:10

@contactus you'd think all schools would do it like that, makes far more sense - they said at the time it would have been returned and then that space offered out to the next on the list.

and they didn’t honour? or you decided to progress?

Havanananana · 10/12/2023 16:24

Hundreds of schools and thousands of kids do this type of trip every year. The coaches are modern and have to pass regular checks, as do the drivers, who also have to adhere to strict driving rules. European autobahns and motorways are far less busy than the M1 or M25 and having a professional driver at the wheel is probably about as safe as you can get on the road.

As others have said, getting from Essex to Dover is a doddle - in the past I've repped on trips like this and had groups that had another 12 hours each way just between Dover and their home towns, which have included Glasgow, Edinburgh and Douglas on the Isle of Man.

The kids just get on with it. The first few hours they're running on adrenaline, then there's the fun of the Chunnel or ferry, then the task of ordering a burger and a cola at a French McDonalds, and after a few hours staring out of the window at the French countryside, darkness falls and they drop off.

The skiing itself is all organised by the local ski school and the travel company (these are almost always specialist school travel companies like Club Europe or PGL). Ski hire happens as soon as they get to the resort, then the professional instructors take over and make it a fun week for the kids. As with everything these days to do with children, safety is a priority and the teachers, coach company, ski school and organisers will have done pages and pages of risk assessments.

Original poster
Jacks35 · 10/12/2023 16:24

contactus · 10/12/2023 16:15

and they didn’t honour? or you decided to progress?

Show quote history

We progressed, dd was and is so excited. While I wasn't excited about them travelling by coach it's only recently I've started to worry about the journey as we were told last week it would be 23hrs. (Which in itself I suppose is a good thing as the breaks are scheduled etc.) it's just something I wanted some reassurance about from people who have either done the same or their children have x

OP posts:
Houseplantmad · 10/12/2023 16:27

My DS did a similar trip and loved it, so much so when he got off the coach after the first time he begged to go the second time! He said the coach was the best bit as there were other schools on the coach too. It’s my idea of hell but he loved it. He took a pillow with him and a neck pillow and managed to sleep quite a bit.
He slept for a day on return but still refers to it, 8 years later!

contactus · 10/12/2023 16:28

you’re braver than me OP! i don’t think you’re ott to be anxious at all

Whataretheodds · 10/12/2023 16:29

I'm not understanding what you're worried about?

clarkkentsglasses · 10/12/2023 16:29

I did exactly this as a 13 year old 33 years ago. We listened to INXS non stop for 23hrs!

We also smoked ... WTAF?! All girls private school.

EssexCat · 10/12/2023 16:46

Funnily enough my daughter is also going from Essex to Italy in February for a ski trip!
My son did it last year too - he had an absolute ball. And the coach was absolutely fine!

fingerguns · 10/12/2023 16:49

YABU. Been there, done that, several times. We had 24hr coach trips from London to Austria. But you're a teenager so it's absolutely fine. Drivers swap over so they're not tired. It'll be fine, and they'll have a blast.

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